Archive for August, 2013

Dog poop (Comedy)

“Your dog shat there!” (imagine an elderly woman with a ton of blame in her voice)

So? So it did lady! Look at the “grass” strip where my dog shat in. Plastic bags, plastic bottles and bottle caps, aluminum cans, metal bottle caps, glass bottles, glass splinters, cigarette buds…whenever there is dog poop not removed from this strip, it is a good deed.

My dog’s poop will be gone ENTIRELY in two weeks – tops! But the other stuff will be here when my great-great-grandchildrens great-great-grandchildren are on their death beds! And your biggest issue is dog poop?
Stuff that takes a thousand years or more to decay does not give you pause, but dog poop that will be fully decayed in two weeks? Really?

If I take the poop I substract vaulable nutrients from the circle of life. We humans do that already in a far to great a scale than to ignore further. Normally when a creature dies it drops dead, insects, worms, bacteria, scavangers take the body apart, they eat it, and poop it out later on. In that poop, in that shit, the nutrients are stored and returned to the soil. Plants use them to grow, bear fruit, which are eaten by herbivores who in turn are eaten by carnivores, who’ll get eaten once they’re dead. Both the herbivores and carnivores crap out nutritional dung for the ground to thrive upon.

What do we do with our dead? We gather them in special places, the soil there is rich and fertile, do we use it? NO!?
What happens to our droppings? Ah sewage treatment plants and then it isn’t used as fertilizer either. WE BURN OUR SHIT! We literally burn what remains then.
Taking nutrients out of the circle of life, the circle of nature, we keep substracting and wonder why we face a problem.

Lady, if I take that dog poop I’m actively participating in a further gang-rape on mother nature. You want to be an active rapist, pick it up yourself!

Besides, our city council told us, back in the day, that the dog tax is used to pay city employees who pick up dog poop.
Therefore, my duties are absolved.
I paid, I’m home free.
If the city council wants me to pick up my dog’s poop, they have to return my money. The dog tax has no validation anymore in that case. Period.

Me: “Yap, she did, didn’t she?”

Floosy: “I hope you step in it!”

Circle Journal – 1 Edge (ep 23)

“Are you two certain I can’t interest you to listen to me again?” Desiree stood next to the table of Susannah and Gerald, both shook their heads, longingly she gazed out the window to the walls behind which Wernthar lived. It was her duty to lull new arrivals into staying out of their own free will, but with the two young people in front of her she sensed a certain reluctance.

“Your child is the child of two magi, as you call them, by nature a very powerful magi.” Wernthar had seated himself once more. His guests also were back at the table, only his maiden was standing, she had withdrawn to the door. “But all magi carry a little bit of the void inside them.” he stared at Sarah with a blank expression as if he stared through her. “Every magi parenting a child with another magi is getting a little bit of the void into this world.” while listening to his words Johns mind wandered off. His master had been right in his assumption that taking in a bit of the void would increase the powers of a magi. But apparently some people were not made out to contain such power within themselves. “But she is by far not the anchor we’d need, correct?” John jumped ahead of the conversation. Softly Wernthar shook his head, an apologetic smile on his lips. “Well then.” John got up taking a few steps towards the door. “Seems as if we’re about to stay.” he sighed, but stopped, his face marked by thoughts he did not want to think. “If one were to drink the blood of an anchor, what would that do to that anchor? And to the one drinking said blood?” Unseen by John Wernthars skin assumed a stone like texture immediately. Sarah inched away from the westend king, his expression grew cold and grim. “You could destabilize that anchor. And if you drank of my blood you would,” Wernthar paused studying John from behind. “The Thuron incident!” he hissed getting up, losing his stone texture again, honest worry was all over his face. “You were the boy that he had experimented upon!” John had unwillingly cringed a little at the mention of his former masters name. Wernthar now was taller as John, turned the man slowly around while holding his shoulders. “I never thought you’d turn up at the rim.” it dawned on John that he didn’t go to the sea all by himself, the five anchors had guided him there. “I saw that you harboured the void twice but did not care to look deeper. Forgive me.” the maiden at the door lost her composure, for the first time had she heard a heartfelt apology from Wernthar.

Caffeine (comedy)

One of these days I’m gonna drop dead.

I’ll just stop breathing, and tumble over.

They will discover then that I have no more blood in my system, but pure undiluted caffeine!
Curious how I survived to the point of my death they’re gonna start an autopsy, just when placing the scalpel for the first incision I’ll wake up, screaming!
They’ll ask “How do you live?” to which I’ll reply “What do you mean ‘How do I live?’ I just DO! How DO YOU live??”
“You ain’t got no blood, only caffeine pumping through your veins!”
“Then why do feel tired all the time?” even more curious they’ll want to cut me open anyway, to which I’ll say “You can’t! You fracking can’t! There is no sufficient caffeine transfusion to keep me alive and you Frackers swore an oath to protect life!” then I’ll hook up a can of RedBull to my veins and run off.

‘Cause you see, sleep is a commodity that many can’t afford these days.
Myself very well included.

Ask doctors, and they’ll tell you that eight hours a night is healthy, and just what you should get.
Frak you!
If I want eight hours of sleep I’d need to go to bed at 9pm! But there’s too much left to do at 9pm!

First of all my baby needs feeding, bathing, change of diapers. Then my wife needs (my) time too, something she sadly doesn’t get enough of as of late. Don’t forget – watering the plants, wlaking the dog, dishes, laundry, and tidying up a little.
Go to bed at 9 pm and you’ll vomit in your pyjamas the next morning when you see the mess in the kitchen.

So, no. No sleep at 9pm, bugger off. In the meanwhile I’ll keep substituting sleep with coffee transforming myself slowly but steadily from a “Homo Sapiens Sapiens” into a “Homo Sapiens Caffeinis” – something like a zombie, only aware and only harmful to coffee and energy drinks…Who needs oygen when you have sugar? Who needs nutrients when you’ve got caffeine? ;Þ

Stuff 8th August 2013

Story:
Just to keep you folks up to date, I am done with the fourth part of Finns (see here for details) and now I’m taking a break. As things are right now there will be no “Journals of the Hexagon”, at least not now. The grand finale is looming ahead and gruesome battles and wars await, so I guess after my “break” I’ll jump into that. The soonest I will pick up again will be on Monday, leaving my mind enough time to wind down. AND to allow me for reading.

Reading:
Currently on the menue, Game of Thrones! Finally coming around to read it, can’t wait for the point in time when I have read them all and finally can watch the TV show and bitch about how it strays away from the books… :Þ (Yes, I like to do that, did it with hannibal in reverse Movie first, then book, and still loved the book far more)

Heat:
So this is the end, huh? Today the heatwave is said to have it’s grand finale with a bang….or rather a loud muffled sigh. 40°C would be a new record high in this country.
Although I love heat, it stopped being fun a week ago or so. A long persitant heatwave like this is not fun anymore. For weeks on end I’m encrusted with a thin salt layer, still moist and anything but stiff, but a crust nonetheless – I am fed with it by now. Bring on a little rain, thunderstorms, WIND!
A turkish explorer/traveler from medival times refered to my hometown as “the city of winds” as there’s ALWAYS a wind blowing though the valleys. We live in fracking swamp! Or at least what once in roman times WAS a swamp. There IS a lot of wind here. Not recently.
I’m surprised though, no global warming slogans all around me? Really? This is the perfect opportunity!
Oh wait, let me guess – the protesters are too hot and have retreated to indoors where the AC cools them down.
Hipocrites.

Douchebag alert!
I saw a man two days ago in the subway. The amount of hipster-douchebag was over 9000!!! The thick glasses, ridiculous hairdo and shitty clothes gave him away as a hipster right away – but that is something you can change if need be. Styles come and go, and you grow out of a certain apparel (my son grew pout of the first apparel just yesterday), you mature and you change.- If you DON’T change you stagnate, and that is as good as withered and dead on a mental level.
BUT! This idiot had a tatoo on his arm that made me remember him!
A cube. A fracking cube!!!
All the edges of that cube – like you draw in geometry class – and no sides/walls to it. This thing is almost forever etched into his skin! Forever branded as a douché! Good job idiot.
BTW: Why do women dislike sex with a hipster? He came before it was cool…. *badum tss*

And because of the long post, here’s a sunrise to make up for it:

Circle Journal – 1 Edge (ep 22)

“The island.” he started, but paused again. The forests surrounding the lake on that island seemed to spring to life in his mind. “There is no conceivable way to get it, is there?” Wernthar looked at his guest in wide wonder. Over the aeons he had gathered stranded people from the Western shore of the rim on his island, mostly because he wanted a glimpse at what he couldn’t feel any more, a hint of mortality for him to enjoy the beauty of life which comes only with the certainty of death. Never had he considered to bring them on the island in the skies. Even if someone saw it, none of the people who had and survived the accompanying glance at the void asked about it. “Do you wish to bury your dead?” Wernthar knew John considered colonizing, but tried to coarse him in another direction.

“No. Their graves are at the rim of that isle. Eventhough I have seen it twice I dare not glance into the void a third time to recover them. I want to settle there.” John stared at Wernthar, though he possibly challenged a being as powerful as the gods he had to try. In his eyes the island was another world, a world isolated from the atrocities of man. “I can reach it.” Wernthar sighed turning to his window once more. “But once there you are out of my reach, I will learn of your fate only on the eve of the following day, as the sun sets there after it had set here.” a shadow of doubt crossed his face as he returned his gaze to his guest. “I’m not even sure whether you can survive there.” the walls around them dropped revealing the maiden and Sarah who were surprised, as the wall had blocked them with darkness as well. “The island has no anchor. The world has five. Me, the king of the Northern edge, the queens of South and East and the central column. The latter being an androgynous entity deeply beneath the earth.” John swallowed. Something his master had babbled about before his devastating madness got the best of him. A creature of the void he had discovered in his dungeons, but only excavated partially until he had mastered the powers of the void. Vague disturbing images of a cup came spewing from his memory, a silvery liquid inside it, it was forced into his throat. Quickly John shook these memories off.

“In order for the island to sustain you and not crumble under your presence, you would need an immortal.” Wernthar felt victorious, though he couldn’t let the people return to the world they had come from, with memories of his sheltered island, he could let them go to the island. Unharmed, unaltered, immediately.

“You said I gave birth to the void.” Sarahs insides felt mangled just thinking about Susannah as something other than her beloved daughter, but Wernthars words were fresh on her mind.

Lakes & Sunshine

Again out in nature, I begin to discover that I am behaving totally NON (cliché) nerd-like recently. Always out and about in nature and all…anyways, here’s to you “Wienerberg” 4th August 2013!

Let me just say outright, even though bathing/swimming is forbidden in the largest of the lake there were hundreds of people in the water. Why is swimming forbidden? Officially: because they are fishing grounds. Inofficially: It’s a deathtrap! The whole place was once a site where silt was being “mined” for use as bricks. Later it became a dumping ground. There are vertical shafts 1 by 1 meter which can collapse at ANY time. Suction would drown ANYBODY. There are fences, railroad tracks and lorries down there – enough crap to get stuck in and die.
I’m no friend of natural waters anyways but this is the last place I’ll be going in…

Mediterranean

Runway Bridge

Reed & Grass & Stuff

LotR anyone?

Stuff

Lakes

Ducks!

Sunrise and Flowers

Sunrise

Rosebud

Reed on our Rooftop (!) sadly the Waterlily refuses to bloom 😦

What ever this is, it looks both beautiful and dangerous. IF any of you know what it is, please comment…

Tomorrow there’ll come a post from my visit to Wienerberg with my best friend, really nice sights to see there. 🙂
Take care
A.