Archive for January, 2014

Neo would be fracked…

fifteen years on after Matrix came out (let’s “ignore” the sequels, please!) and I realize, Neo would be fracked pretty much these days.

He ran through the city and grabbed some dudes cellphone mid call, dropped the all and dialed Morpheus while being chased by Agent Smith. So far, so good.

Had he done the same thing with me and my cell back in 1999, he would’Ve been able to do all the same things he did in the movie (let’s be honest, I couldn’t have stopped him no matter how much I wanted). BUT! Would he be chased by Agent Smith today, and grabbed some dudes phone (mine for example) mid call, he could drop the call. But then he’d be fracked.

What’s my screen lock pin?

Other people have the pattern (if they keep their phone uncleaned, you can retrace it). Or a password, or a pin, instead of the all might “Slide to Unlock”. He would have to grab (smart)phones until he found a slider, or look actively for one still using an old cellphone.
Needless to say, Smith would catch up and beat the crap out of him. Eventually Neo would overcome his “normality” and turn into the chosen one – but until that point – OUCH.

(And yes, he’s a hacker, but without equipment, while running full speed, he couldn’t hack sh*t)

So, let’S be glad that the MAtrix was filmed (and took place) in 1999…in conclusion “They just don’t make movies like that anymore”…

Circle Journal – 4 Growth (ep 6)

Upon Crys’ question whether the fungal guards had followed her over the ice, she shook her head. According to her knowledge, were the fungals as heavy as a human, they would’ve broken through the thin ice shell on the ocean, meaning they must’ve utilised a boat. Both stared into the distance as if they could see right through the walls of the cabin. Again Crys was thinking if the stories his grandfather used to tell him. How the calm sea between his homeland and the vast untamed forests of the neighboring continent froze in particularly cold winters. “I need to get as far from them as possible!” Gela turned to him all of a sudden. “They must have tracked me and,” Crys put his finger to her cold lips.

“There has to be another explanation, if they really had been tracking you, they would have found us, not my brother and his family.” he smiled, more to convince himself. He knew of course that they would’ve lost track of Gela in the snowstorm, that their search would’ve led them to the marked unting trails, which led to the vicinity of the cabin.

Deep in thought he got up, his gaze wandered through the room again, he knew there was another sleigh, they could make a run for the village. “I agree with you on one thing.” he mumbled walking towards the bed, pulling a ladder from underneath it. With it he walked around the cabin, quickly he climbed up. Noisily a sleigh tumbled down next to Gela, who watched in amazement.

“We should get out of here.” he smirked victoriously, holding up the vehicle. Again his gaze revealed that he had never seen a naked woman before. “But we should get you dressed first.” his hand pointed vaguely towards a large trunk next to the bed his brother and wife used to sleep in.

In case that Gela was right about the fungal guards, Crys did not leave a note telling that he had gone for the village, instead he wrote ‘Valborhim’, the village name, doubting the foreigners would know the meaning.

Circle Journal – 4 Growth (ep 5)

As she looked down on herself Gelas eyes were filled with confusion. Slowly did she feel gravity pulling her to the ground, the room around her had started to turn. “I had forgotten.” she whispered as Crys had come to her aid. “I was alone for weeks and the garments I had were hindering me. Only the bear,” she gasped for air, slowly the shock seemed to release the locked up emotions inside her. Her turquoise eyes were filling up with tears. Again Crys was somewhat shocked and irritated, the tears of hers were milky droplets of juice, slowly oozing out of her eyes rolling down the perfectly soft cheeks. “What are you?” his heart beat up to his throat.

Next to her pain and sadness, confusion mixed into her expressions. “I’m floral, why do you ask?”

“Because I’m human!” he paused for a moment, crouched closer after he had reflected on her words. In his childhood he had heard stories, his grandfather used to tell them late at night on a lobg winters eve. “Floral, as in, you are a plant? I though you were only a fairytale!” he gasped. “Still,” Gela turned her head back to the door behind Crys. “the fungal guards are out there.” giving her words his full attention Crys sat down next to her.

“I fled our homeland over the ice, then wandered up from the coast. The fungal guards had taken over and were ravaging through our villages.” she glanced over her shoulder to the fireplace, “With fire. Although vulnerable to it themselves, they used it to burn us and our homes, to ashes.” as she returned her face to Crys he noticed her milky tears again, his first impulse was to reache to her cheek and wipe them off but she stopped him. “It might be poisonous to your kind.” excusingly she wiped them away herself with her bare skin. “I wandered through the ice and snow, until I found the bear. I had to kill it to warm myself, as I felt that my resin and juices were beginning to stiffen in the cold.”


I’ve read recently “Thanking god for saving your house in a tornado while your neighbors got hit is like wriking a Thank-You-Letter to a serial killer for killing the people next door but not you.” – I concur.

I can imagine that prayer going like this “Thank you dear god for destroying the Smiths, their property and cattle, but not us and ours. Thanks a lot, love Jon. Amen.”

News has it that the NSA has been reading our text messages (amongst monitorin our calls and our E-Mails). Now, I know that they filter it with a computer for certain words, but imagine the poor Fraker going through a text message suspicious conversation…
“I’m dropping a bomb on my parents.”
“Julie, this IS your mother! Again: WHAT???”

And that poor dude is just sitting there, not even able to flinch or smirk anymore.
Let alone laugh.
And because Julie once sent “Bomb” in a text message she’s under clsoer surveilance, after all, she might be writing in “code” now.
“Did you see teh dress that Kim is wearing? Oh Em Gee!” Poor Agent Smith is loosing the last bits of hope he had for the human race, and hopes for a Taliban Crazy to fly a plane into the NSA headqarters so his miserable life would find an end.

And of course, let’s not forget, the computer saw that Julie wrote her mum the word “Bomb” and now monitors the mother too more closely, and since she too might be writing in “code”, a living agent has to read her crap too. Perhaps even poor Agent Smith.
And now he knows that Julies Mom has an affair with Kim’s dad, and she found out, but to shut her up she bought Kim the hideous dress that Julie wrote about before….it’s worse than “The Bold and Beautiful”, and one day Agent Smith is found hanging in his garage, a suicide note lying next to him saying just “STFU!”…(Plottwist: Julie ALSO has an affair with Kim’s dad and he’s her baby’s father….)

There are news, and there are “news”. I recently stumbled upon a “news” blog here on WordPress. It’s in german, so most of you can be spared the pain, and honestly, I don’t want to give THEM any trackbacks or traffic, so there is no link or name.
But let me tell you that these people are as paranoid as they come. They make people who fear that Bush staged 9/11 and Obama is preparing a “Liberal Negro Takeover” pale im comparison. Let me just state right out here some contra facts: Toothpaste isn’t killing you. Vaccinations are your friend, not the enemy that increases hayfever (going back to ancient Babylon), causes cancer/mental illnes (falsified research in order to press charges) or death (WTF??). The only “New World Order” that is imposed on us is an economic one, and it will devour itself before it got going. So lean back and enjoy the warmest winter in recent european history.

Circle Journal – 4 Growth (ep 4)

“Jolien! I brought a visitor!” Crys opened the door to the cabin, absent minded himself, Gela right at his side, only to find the house empty. No sign of his brother, his sister in law and his nephews. Worried he turned around in the open door, behind the pale young woman the sun was nigh the western mountain ridges.

Jolien and his family wouldn’t be out of shouting range to the cabin that close to sundown. Hoping that they would return shortly he pulled Gela inside and closed the door. After taking off all the warm clothes and snowshoes he led Gela to the fire place, she still was absent minded. Contrary to her initial fear of fire he had no trouble sitting her down next to the fire place.

Crys’ face was covered with worrisome wrinkles, the fire was high, meaning it had been tended to a short while ago, there even was kettle full of soup next to it.

He looked around in the cabin. No signs of struggle anywhere. “I will be right back.” he got up and patted Gelas shoulder. Quickly he withdrew his hand as his eerie guest was ice cold, not like a living breathing human that had spent hours in the cold, but like a log that had been out in the snow for days.

“Don’t go.” Gela slowly turned her head. “They might be out there.” she whispered, in the shining turquoise eyes of hers he saw nothing but fear. “My brother and his family are out there!” he leaped for the door, only to notice that their sleigh was missing. Irritated he backed away from the door. Perhaps someone had an accident, maybe Joliens leg got worse, and tgey rode the sleigh down to the village? Again Crys looked around, they would’ve left a corresponding note for him.


“They got to them.” Gela stared into the distance. “I hope they didn’t see us enter, avoid going outside in any case, if they see no one in a house they culled they’ll assume it still empty.” her gaze drifted to the fire.

Instinctively she jumped away from it with a loud terrified shriek. Afterwards Crys stared at her with a blank expression for several minutes.

“Why do you stare at me like that?” Gela had calmed down.

Blushing the young man shied away his eyes from her bloodstained body, the bearskin had fallen off as she had jumped up in terror. “Forgive me, but I have never seen a naked woman before.”

Circle Journal – 4 Growth (ep 3)

Tracks made by naked feet, instead of paws. Confused by the fact that obviously some poor soul was walking around the woods barefoot, far from any other human settlement Crys started following the tracks. Further confused that the tracks were only on the surface, meaning the person with the bare feet had not sunk in.

At the entrance to a cave Crys sighed in displeasure, a cavern in the woods in the dead of winter could be home to a hibernating bear. As much as he hated to admit it, his brother was right that they sometimes awoke. From his pocket he drew a hunting knife, not much to fend off a bear, but if it was still affected from being awoken he stood a chance. “Hello?” he pulled down the fur in front of his face. “Is there anyone in there?” the smell of death came to his nose. Someone or so.ething had died recently in that cave, the intense smell of a freshly gutted lifeform was something he knew all too well.

Uncertain whether to investigate further he waited for his eyes to get used to the darkness before him after looking at bright white snow before. Suddenly two bright turquoise eyes stared him glowing in the darkness, startled he stumbled backwards, his snowshoes made him trip and fall back on his ass.

The eyes followed him to the light of day. A pale female face appeared as owner of the eyes. Her soft characteristics were framed by black hair, as she reached daylight Crys was under the impression that it had a green shine to it. As did her incredibly white skin, in his shock and the cold did it take him a few moments to realize she was naked, but smeared with blood, on her back she carried a bloody bearskin and fur. “What are you?” Crys’ expression was still twisted by fear. “My name is Gela.” her soft voice calmed Crys down a little, although still alarmed that she apparently had killed a bear with bare hands. “I am Crys.” he worked to get up again. “I’m cold.” she drew the bearskin tighter around herself. Not surprised that she was Crys had to get his act together not to freak out over the strange girl. “In my home there is food, and fire. It’ll warm you.” he stretched out his shaking hand, hoping she would believe it was shaking due to the cold, not fear of her.

“Fire? Fire, is evil!” her soft face transformed into a frightened mask of terror.

“It won’t harm you! It warms you!” Crys was losing more and more of his fear, as he was asking himself how anyone with no signs of burns could call fire evil. Doubting the young mans words Gela reluctantly reached for his hand in the thick glove.

Crys followed his own tracks, glad it had stopped snowing somewhen in the night. While marching he noticed how Gela didn’t sink into the snow, but didn’t try out himself whether the snow could support his weight. All the while Gela seemed absent minded, her gaze was distant, although piercing.

I’d suck as an interviewer…

I saw an interview with a local politician these days.

The interviewer then asked “…if your project get’s rejected, what do you think was the cause? Who did you fail at?” the politician looked around like some kid making up an obvious lie story and then started babbling “Well…hm…I guess….well, I’d be very sidappointed if blablabla” and I would’Ve snapped as the interviewer at the point of “I’d be very disappointed” and jumped at my counterpart a finger in their face screaming “THAT WAS NOT THE QUESTION! WHO DI YOU FAIL AT? ANSWER!” then the policitican would start again with her disappointment, at which point it slap her with my papers “ANSWER THE GOD DAMN QUESTION!” at this point molten steel red in the face “FRAK YOUR FEELINGS, WHO. DID. YOU. FAIL. AT?”

Probably my producers and people behind the camera would drag me off screen and you’d see “Technical difficulties” sign shown, afterwards a deeply terryfied politician and a new interviewer would sit there and she could ramble on about her disappointment somewhere in the off you’d hear me screaming and yelling “THAT WASN’T THE QUESTION!”

All in all, no matter if they are left wing (like the woman I saw in the interview) or right wing (like the true master of avoiding straight answers in interviews here) – ALL politicians lie. They all don’t want to give straight answers.
If you confront them with hard facts, or things they haven’t got a written response for – they budge. None of them can react to stuff in an honest way, they stick to their agenda and even if you can see them crack internally, they continue their lies. Policitcs ever being truthful and honest would destroy the entire system. If you expect change in opinion when they meet in an assembly, or some interview, or a meeting with SPECIALISTS – you’re gonna have a bad time. (Insert Southpark Meme here :Þ)

Again, I’d be a horror as interviewer. Yelling, screaming and insulting these morons and their evasive behavior and their lies. Perhaps I’d be great. But I think I’d suck…

Circle Journal – 4 Growth (ep 2)

In search for the traps he had laid out he walked quietly, keeping an eye out for some wolves or bears that were hungry enough to wade through meters of snow. He doubted a heavy bear would actually be able to walk on the snow, since he himself could only walk with snowshoes.

Although he sometimes cursed living high up in the mountains instead of the village, in the dead of winter he liked it, since it meant that no one would, or rather could, raid their traps. A possible thief would have to work his way to the forest for several days, and no one was that desperate.

After several hours he rested on a rock near a frozen creek. A few rabbits and squirrels had left their comfortable lairs and ran into the traps, but the majority of the traps were empty. The dead animals hung on a rope around his waist.

Pondering about settling somewhere between the cabin and the village he looked around, until his eyes hinged up on something odd.


Circle Journal – 4 Growth (ep 1)

Gray clouds hung low in the skies, never seizing winds howled across the land, throwing the flakes of snow and ice like tiny darts.

Forests and steppes lay in an almost enchanted slumber underneath a thick layer of snow. Burrowed in their holes and nests, birds and beasts eagerly awaited better weather or even spring.

Fighting against the forces of nature a silhouette made its way through the snow. The trail of its journey thus far disappeared in the howling winds after a few moments. Moving forward from a large open field into the forest, the Silhouette rested as the pull of the winds decreased due to the shelter provided by the trees and undergrowth.

Bright turquoise eyes glanced through the never ending rows of trees.


But with no idea what to search for. After a few moments of rest the Silhouette started walking again, though the forest was dense, walking had become a lot easier, the snow was not as high as on the open field.

“Be sure to watch out for bears and wolves.” a young man, wrapped in several layers of warm clothing left the lonely cabin he lived in with his brothers familiy. The older, but still young, man leaned behind him on a crutch, one leg fixed between two pieces of wood. Just weeks earlier he had slipped and broken his leg while the two were hunting. “I will brother, although they wouldn’t come out now.” Crys smiled tiredly, well used to being treated like a child. Slowly he made his way to the woods, his family had marked their hunting trail for generations, so they wouldn’t get buried under all that snow.

Organic nonsense

I recently stumbled upon some skin oil that listed “organic daisies” as one of the ingredients.
I don’t know about you, but, organic daisies?

The whole organic crap is getting out of hand. Everything is organic all of a sudden, and it juuuust costs a little extra. Mostly a whole euro.

Tell you what, most of that organic business is utter crap. They’re taking your money while shitting you.


Who in their right mind is falling for this? Alright, I don’t want my kid, wife or myself feeding on overly pimped foods. Ease down on the fertilisers, hold the insecticides and pesticides and weedwhackers. Give me happy bees and eco friendly irrigation.

But! Flowers like Daisies, that grow happily and healthy on every patch of dirt worldwide – DON’T. NEED. ANY. OF. THAT! They are like pests. They grow fraking everywhere!
So stop bullshitting us with organic daisies!

PS: Succubi is over, next week the new series starts, Whose World has just begun. I’m working on a better index (okay, “an index”), please be patient. 🙂