Archive for October, 2014

The wonders and mysteries

of the Samsung Battery.

I’m a Samsung user.
I love my Samsung Smartphone(s) and Tablet, as much as you can love an inanimte object. I write on them (with exceptions) and couldn’t imagine modern life without them.

My first and second smartphones were both from LG, and I hold them near and dear to my heart, they were really good smartphones. Small, reliable (until the mic started failing on the newer one) and usable.
But not as good as Samsung!

I got a second hand Galaxy S2, and I couldn’t be happier.

But that was the first time I got in touch with a Samsung Battery. You charge it, it shows 72%, you unplug it because of reasons, go to take a dump for example, you take a look at the display and without being connected the battery charged another 5%!
What the actual Frak???
My Tablet Battery is the same baffling mystery in a bigger device. 100% goes to 65% in five minutes, you turn off the screen for three minutes turn it back on and you’re suddenly at 82%!

Samsung Batteries seem to be either ghost (dis)charging or simply broken.

I had a replacement battery for the S2, and that never showed any of these weird symptoms. Because it was thirdparty technology perhaps. But no matter how hard these batteries hit me in the balls, I take solace that in the fact that at least I’m not using apple. 😉

A.

Floral/Fungal Journal – 1 Darkness (ep4)

“Why don’t you gestate here?” Sujela choked on what she heard. “Pardon me?” Tophan advanced towards her, she clearly saw his shape against the darkness, a stick poked her in the belly, going through Tophans center, dissolving the illusion. “I didn’t say anything.” Grateful for the darkness Sujela took the end of the stick, realizing it was a thick branch, the other end in Tophans hands. “This way we’ll know that other is where we think the other is.” he stated dryly, also thankful for the darkness. Again both of them saw each other peeled out of the darkness, holding on to the ends of the branch, confused the two stared at each other, realizing the absurdity of their former hatred, now frightened and confused holding on to the ends of a branch to know the position of the other. “It isn’t morning yet.” Sujela stated dryly, looking around, as Tophan did, neither could make out the source of the dim light. Behind a tree a croak made both grab the branch tighter.

Hopping from branch to branch into vision was a Phoenix, his feather extending into the ethereal gave off a dim light enabling the two to see each other. “What is that bird?” Tophan had heard their croaks before but never paid them much attention, until standing in the perfect darkness, holding a branch that connected him to a fungal guard. “The Albin call them Phoenix, they migrated from their lands as conjury waned.” she admitted that there was a small flock living in the mountains above the capital, elevated far above the semi-dead fungus, but that these had flown away as well. In secret she had always admired the birds. Very few birds lived in the fungal empire, most were migratory birds, just passing through, except the small Phoenix flock, that had left after magic disappeared in most parts of the world. Unable to turn their gaze away from the strange bird both kept staring at it, as the Phoenix kept staring at them. Neither could tell how long they stared at the bird as the black roof above their heads started showing tiny holes of violet, followed by pink and rose colors and finally blue in all intensities of the color. With the fading night the visibility of the Phoenix vanished until it was only barely distinguishable from the darkness around thanks to its colorful feathers. Ever so slowly with the fading night did Sujela and Tophan turn their gaze away from the Phoenix, looking back at each other. Sujela put the branch down and dug free her feet, observing Tophan do the same.

Tension had risen in his body again, he kept his right hand close to the dagger. “I said I won’t fight you.”

“How do I know you’re not a figment of my imagination, while I am going insane?” insecure, disturbed and scared, unsettled and still full of hatred for anything remotely fungal Tophan defended his tension. “How do I know that you aren’t my mind going insane?” she stemmed her hands on her hips. “I don’t, but the branch felt real enough as it poked me, and I’m certain the rock I threw at you was real enough?” Tophan felt his nose, it still hurt. “Yes.” he admitted.

Sujela turned around, locating the nearest dead body, she pointed at it and asked Tophan to remember it as it was lying there, afterwards she marched off, Tophan followed her. Though he feared and hated her for what she was and represented, she was better to be around than the cadavers of her comrades, or the ethereal, beautiful, but very eerie bird.

Floral/Fungal Journal – 1 Darkness (ep3)

Hastily Tophan shook of these thoughts. “Yes, I am.” he admitted, feeling himself lean towards the insane theory.

For both of them. “Then why did you come here?” Tophan felt his muscles relax, silently he sheathed the dagger again, not to give away the fact to his enemy. “I believed in the cause. Still do, actually.” her voice seemed distant, not due to the leaping distance between them, but her heart. “What cause? To kill us? Wipe us off the face of the earth? Drive us into the ground to fertilize the trees that are the gateway to our dead?” the fungal guard chuckled. Never since she got stuck in the forest did she long as much for a walk as in that moment. “No. Your women hold the key to our survival, the nectar gives us power and strength to fight an ancient enemy of this world.” she stopped herself from talking any further, recalling passages from the scriptures instead.

“Though planted from beneath and beyond, by wing and claw, I spread throughout the world for you, the cleansing will wash off the lies and reveal the truth, like soil from a body freshly risen to walk the earth on my behalf.” though interpretation was strongly forbidden, many believed that the foretold invasion of the Chimera was linked to that passage. Planted by the malevolent creatures the fungus had outgrown it’s masters and became self-aware, and spawned the Fungals to fight the winged evil, to preserve himself. “My name is Sujela, by the way.” she shook off the thoughts about the origin of the fungus and the implications that origin had. “I’m Tophan.”

 

Around the two in the breathing silence of the perfectly dark forest the mourns of the wood grew in intensity and frequency. “Alright, Tophan, it is important that you remain in the soil, no matter what you hear, no matter what you might think you see.” Sujela warned her new acquaintance of the dangers that lurked in the nights of the dark forest, stemming mostly from the mind of everyone inside.

Before Tophans eyes the perfectly dark canvas changed only subtile. Colorful fields appeared, peeling themselves out of the darkness. Without him moving his eyes they wandered around, formed weird shapes, moving towards him, away from him, around in his field of vision. Slowly the silhouette of Sujela peeled out of the darkness. “I can see you.” he mumbled, not entirely sure whether it was really what he saw or his imagination running wild. “I see you too.” she replied. Slowly advancing towards him, peeling off clothes against the dark background. “What are you doing?” he felt the soil clenching his feet as rock. “The only thing we can do, where no one sees us, judges us.” a small rock passed through her head hitting him in the face, immediately Sujela dissolved. “It’s an illusion!” her harsh voice recalled him to reality.

Copycat culture

When writing my short post about tsu the other day (You’re still welcome to join!) I briefly touched on the reposters.

I voiced my suspicion that you get “paid” on tsu only if you repost, since I was posting a lot and got a lot of views and a few likes and comments. Since then my suspicions got confirmed. Two reposts, and suddenly there two cents in my account?
What a coincidence!!

But that is not the main issue today, but part of the problem.
The problem is the copycat culture we live in these days.

Look at your facebook feed. 50-90% are shares.
Nothing original.
Look at your friends on twitter. 50-90% reTweets.
Nothing original.
Look at 9gag. Reposts. Reposts everywhere.
Nothing original.

And so on.  More and more you get the impression that the people out there are ruminant on a mental level. I am dead certain I’m not the first to bitch about this, nor will I be the last.
BUT AT LEAST I’M WRITING IT IN MY OWN WORDS!

We glorify Mark Zuckerberg, a fraud who steals ideas and get’s away with it. Steve Jobs and apple are glorified beyond belief, although others invented the technology first.
We have movies in theaters that are mostly re-tellings, re-imaginings, prequels, sequels, origin stories, alternatives, and so on. Close to nothing new and original.
Music industry (popular crap) is not much better. Either a dozen producers/wroter for a crappy song with three lines of verse, or a new take on an old song.

Playing the safe bet is always a good idea, right? If you are a large successful corporation, maybe. But for us lowlifes? “That post has likes, to get likes I’ll share/retweet/repost/steal it.”
To what end? Virtual currency that no one needs or wants? (=Likes)

Well at least in that respect tsu is something new. They give you cash (for reposting). Facebook and the others don’t. They rake in ALL the cash.
But rewarding people to be unoriginal bastards (aka stealing intellectual property) is not the way to go. If you were paid for posts, or likes on your original posts – that’s the way to go. Not the current share and reshare and forwardshare and share again model. This is crap.

I still am glad to be there, although I hate the repost crap, and reposting myself.

Playing the safe bet is a good idea? No. No it isn’t! Neither for a money making entity, nor for a private person.
If you want to be liked, if you want to be paid, get paid or liked for YOUR own material, not stuff you took from someone (or -thing) else.
Instead of paying you for reposts, tsu should be charging you, to keep this share/repost shit down…

Keep posting original stuff, take care, be original,
A.

But I’m not a reposter…

So this is the deal folks, there is this new social networking site.
I love it.
It is invite based (at the moment at least), here is my link for you guys to join: www.tsu.co/augur

But! Before you get your panties all brown and yellow over this entire “they pay you” deal, here’s the problem I’m having.
I do not get any revenue.
I post. I post a lot. Nothing.
I get views. I get replies and likes. Nothing.
Yes, I set up the Bank. Still, nothing.
And I am afraid I have found the difficulty in this site.

They do not pay you for your content. They pay for reposts.
All the folks there repost shit from their “timeline” and all these folks get some revenue. I hate reposting, thus don’t do it.
No revenue.

I’m still hapoy to be there, ain’t in it for some insignificant amounts of cash. But if this is devolving into a ‘repost for monetary rewards’ network, I’m leaving. I hate all this ‘shared’ nonsense on facebook, retweets and reposts. Absolutely detest it.
If tsÅ« is just there for the reposts and no originality – screw it.

Hope you guys still give it a try, perhaps it is just a glitch, or they will pay for original content in the future.

Take care and hope to see you there.
A.

Don’t eat shoes!

I have had enough!
SIMPLY and plainly ENOUGH!

If you are a Vegan and you keep quiet about it – good for you. You have my blessing.
If you are a Vegan and you keep soving it in everybody’s face – I wan’t to beat you with a hammer. You are just as annoying as these religous nuts who can’t shut up about god.
Hammertime!

No matter what kind of Vegan you are, there are a few Bullshit lines you can cross.
1. Bullshit line: Meat supplement. If you made the CONSCIOUS choice of eating only vegetables, an othing that was produced from animal (labour), there simply isn’t any meat. No burgers, no sausages, no nothing.
So if you are longing for a burger, you have to make the conscious choice to deny yourself the burger, and not fake it with a Tofu Burger. That is “I want to, but I can’t” and you need to stop. Either your will is strong enough to pull it through, or it isn’t. IF it isn’t, kill you conscience and pig out.
2. Bullshit line: If you are offended by the fact that Vegan Restaurants aren’t allowed to educate official cook apprentices. It’s simple, a cook apprentice needs to be ABLE to cook meat. It’s that simple. Therefore a Vegan restaurant can’t legally have an apprentice. Period. (Don’t get me started on “But Muslim/Jewish Cooks/Butchers don’t have to touch pork”. That’s different. Sort of, if you ask me, they should be forced to. YOU DON’T HAVE TO EAT THE PORK FRAKKERS! Just prepare my bacon, asshole!)
3. Bullshit line: This is the one that got me to write this post. DON’T EAT SHOES!
My wife stumbled upon an advert from Espirt: “Vegan Shoes” … I can’t even…what? YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT THEM! What about Croq’s? They’re plastic, and therefore, VEGAN! Wanna know how oil (the base for plastic) came to be? Plankton, saturated with water, became entrapped and over time and pressure became oil. Plankton = plants! So – VEGAN! Still, don’t eat shoes. It doesn’t matter whether they have the “PETA-Vegan approved” sign or not. DO NOT EAT SHOES!

So, again, if you’re a Vegan – good for you. Stay strong and eat your produce. Steer clear of meat, and animal products, don’t fake out with tofu burgers and stuff, and DON’T EAT SHOES!

Take care,
A.

Floral/Fungal Journal – 1 Darkness (ep2)

“If you wish to end my life, take your chance,” she spread her arms to sides, “just let me warn you that you are as damned as I am.” reluctantly Tophans hand sunk lower, the tip of his blade still pointed at the survivor. “Damned?” it seemed ages passed since last he spoke, how to utter words in the language the fungal survivor used seemed to only slowly rise from the depths of memory. “There is no way out of this forest, I have been here for weeks, and it would seem that whenever I try to walk a straight line I get either turned around, or the forest changes, wanders with me, brings my comrades with it.” she pointed at the corpses around. Looking up at the seemingly impenetrable roof of branches, twigs, needles. Only minute patches of sky seemed to make their blue appearance on the ground, flickering like stars in nightskies, as tiny as stars. “Soon night will be upon us.” she slipped from what once had been shoes for all sorts of terrain, now torn and ragged. Carefully she planted her feet in the ground, buried them in the soil. “From beneath the earth I shall hold my hand out to support you, prevent your fall.” she sighed, citing from the guards holy scriptures, “At least in my homeland that is the case.” she added with a tired smile, explaining to him that somehow the trees that had kilked comrades did ignore the intruders when the rooted to the ground, with the small bonus that she could keep from starvation that way, just like a floral could.

Feeling uneasy for a multitude of reasons Tophan quickly burrowed his feet as well into the soft soil of the forest, all the while his dagger ready as the guards woman was not far from him, one big leap and she could attack him, one big leap and he could attack her.One big leap to death.

Night quickly darkened the already dark forest, drowning the two enemies in pitch black darkness. “How many weeks?” Tophan couldn’t see her anymore, but sensed her that lethal leap away. “I don’t know exactly. We wandered in here in early spring, by your hair-color I recon it is late spring?”

Tophan nodded, recalling only after she stayed silent for a while that it was pitch black and she couldn’t see. “Yes. Early summer I’d say.”

“I guess our operation isn’t going so well, you running around with a guard dagger and all?” still the deadly leap was between them, Tophan felt tension rising up again in him. “Albin and Humans liberated us, but there still are some of you,” he paused, the mourns of the forest around them subsided, rose anew, and subsided again. In a twisted way it was as if the forest was breathing. “and we are also fighting you.”

Again silence spread around between them, around them, lying over the entire scenery like a thick layer of snow in the winter.

Crushing, heavy silence.

A silence that seemed to drain the very breath from the lungs, muffle each heartbeat to the point where it is uncertain whether it still beats. “I expected as much.” Although she was a hated fungal guard, Tophan felt glad to hear her voice. “From your relieved sigh I take it you are as glad to hear my voice as I am glad to hear yours.” Did Tophan hear fear in her voice?

Was she going insane?

Was he going insane?

Floral/Fungal Journal – 1 Darkness (ep1)

Darkness seemed to dwell deep in the forest, amongst the damp cool air, sheltered by dozens and hundreds of conifer branches, as if it had a den in the land from where it could spread out into the world upon nightfall.

Unswayed by spring and summer smells, untouched by masses of snow and layers of dead leaves, eternally cool, damp and dark. Tophan slowly slendered into the depths of the darkness, his saturated green hair was combed nicely. Although the occupation was over, there still roamed a few groups of fungal guards the land, the darkness in the part of the wokds he was in seemed perfect for an ambush, but he came prepared.

Once he and his brother had taken the weapons if a guard that they had ambushed and killed, while his brother had no luck with the looted sword, the dagger he had taken from the guard had served him well. Reassured by the hard handle of the small weapon Tophan paced further into the darkness. Restless moans from the trees around kept him on his toes, twitching to and from the directions of the moaning wood.

“It is said that the first of our kind retreated into the forest and became the very trees they sat down beneath to return to the soil.” his fathers voice echoed through his mind, spoken unto him and his brother as they returned their grandmother to the soil underneath a tall fir. Other villages had a willow, an oak tree or a bush of pixie berries as their tree of tge dead, but in the mountainous south center of Both’anah broadleaves were scarce.

Again wood mourned, turning his attention to his surroundings.

A body.

Black like tar, but lifeless, the body was lying at the base of a tall, ancient fir tree. Tophan jumped towards it, uttering a fierce cry of hatred, the dagger drawn, ready to strike he held it tightly. But his opponent did not move a muscle, not a sinew twitched at the outcry of hostility directed towards it. Weary he might be walking into a trap, Tophan stepped closer with care.

The insignia of the fungal guards in full display the body lying at the base if the fir was indeed lifeless. A root was wrapped around the mans throat, clearly it had choked the kife out if the intruder.

More wooden moans around the surreal scene caused Tophan to look around. Other guards were in the dark woods, strangled by roots and branches, leaned against trees, lying at their base, hanging from them like macabre fruits of doom.

“We ought not be here.” the sudden display of life caused the terrified Floral man to hurl around, the dagger ready to blow. A female fungal guard stood next to the strangled comrade of hers. She was missing an eye, had it patched up with some cloth from her garments. The display of scratches and bruises on her skin and the places her uniform was torn and missing showed Tophan that she was a cunning survivor. “I won’t fight you.” she nodded to his dagger.

Still he did not lower his weapon.

Life ain’t that hard: Get outta the line!

image

You know how some people make the checkout line in the grocery store a real nightmare?
No, not the lady with the dead eyes and three or more screaming spawns around her.
I’m talking about the douchebags who pay for EVERYTHING with their card.
“2.99 € Sir.”
“Card.” Cashier has to press extra buttons, wasting a solide second or two. Douche inserts card, waits, types pin, presses Ok, waits, bill is printed, take the card. (Not including those who insert the card the wrong way, mistype their pin, etc.)
Now compare that to this: “2. 99 € Sir.” Gives cashier money, gets change.
AND WHEN DID WE SAY THIS IS CONVENIENT????
At what point did we say “Fuck cash, I want to pay with my card. Even if it is just 2.99!”? You’re still getting mugged, so shut up about your safety or security argument!

Then there are the “holders” in the checkout line.
Holy shit I despise these numbskulls! They come with a cart FILLED to the top with stuff, and do they work efficiently to put that shit on the conveyor belt and after scanning, back in their cart?
NOPE!
Because they have to hold their wallet!
These people approach the checkout line, take their wallet out from their bag (and it IS a bag) and THEN they start offloading with ONE hand.
Why only one?
Because they don’t have a normal wallet, which you could balance between index finger and thumb, leaving you with three free fingers. Oh no, not these twatfaces! They have a Waiter’s wallet! A bazillion coupon cards, old receipts, one or two bills, one kilogram of copper coins, 3 € in bigger coins and that bitch fills your hand, weighing a ton!
Cashier scans items, they load them back in their cart with one hand, or in a shopping bag, and only after they’re done transferring their goods, they look back at the cashier who wants to stab them repeatedly with a rust, blunt butterknife, becauses/he has been waiting for a solid minute, minute and a half. Cashier has to repeat: “That’ll be 299,99€.”
If you’re lucky the holder pays and leaves, FINALLY!
If you’re unlucky you’ll hear one, or all of these: “I have a coupon!” “I’m a member! *takes card out*” “Paying with my card. *takes out bankcard/creditcard*”

Don’t worry, as usual in these posts, I have a solution ready!
THREE CHECKOUT LINES!
One for the card douchebags, it has ONLY a cardreader, no cash. If you only have cash, you’re the idiot and need to get out of the line!
One for the holders, with a HUUUUUGE cnveyor belt.
One for normal people. Cash, card only accepted starting with 50+€, if you hold your waiter-wallet while unloading and loading, the cashier and other customers have the right to either smack it out of your hand, and/or scream at you “GET OUTTA THE LINE!” on top oif their lungs.

There. Fixed (y)our shopping nightmare.

Highborn Journal – 4 Root (ep 20)

Strong hot wind blew the sand round Krajanis feet. It was by far not strong enough to stir the sand up like the storm, but the tracks she had left moments ago were already slightly covered.

Her pace was slow. Giving in to her weak knees she fell into the sand, she felt the small pebble Bakir had given her inside the leather pouch. she drew a circular symbol in the sand before her. “I seek the knowledge of time, what is it that lies ahead?” a gust of wind rushed around her from behind although before it had come from her side, disturbing the lines she had drawn, redrawing them.

Confused she stared at the lines.

“Is that why should stay away from foreigners?” startled Krajani jumped to her feet, Bakir had sneaked up behind her. As an explanation he held up the message she had left lying in the chamber. “Maybe.” she whispered, bowing down to the sand again. Although she wouldn’t even admit it to herself her heart was overwhelmed with joy to see Bakir again after more than a week in the desert. “I will never understand you lush landers.” he kneed down beside her. “Perhaps you could help me, and teach me your ways?” Krajani looked at him as if he proposed the two of them should defeat the Sphinxes alone. “If you teach me,” she paused, looking at the figure in the sand, “teach us understand your ways, sand rat.”