Archive for December, 2014

24. Dec. 2014

Merry Christm – WHAT THE FRAK?!?!?!?!?!

WTFThis bronce made showerhead, coated in gold, has a 27 crystal whirl chambers built into it, for the prize of a mere 9,970.00 EUro. Alternatively, diamond chambers, it costs merely 12,500.00 euro!

Water, according to this website, loves to move, in whirls and spirals. This should bring YOU more energy.
Quote from the website (translated): “In the center of a spiral speeds go theoretically towards infinity.” Holy shit! We reach Warp 10 in the center of a spiral? Does that mean the water is EVERYWHERE in the universe at once? Are we all going to drown in this Warp10 Water as soon as some “too rich for his own good” schmuck turns this crap on?
Let’s return to reality for a moment.
NOTHING can go faster than light, or even approach it. If you brought water to those speeds, it would instantly vaproise into oblivion. If it wouldn’t the water shooting out of this showerhead would tear holes through you, the shower, the planet and your energy levels would reach absolute zero asap.

“The widening of the molecular structure, enables an electron exchange…” so after you’re perforated, you’re getting zapped by an electrical surge.

“More oxygen in shower cabin” – the electrical charge will ignite the oxygen.

“No use of Iron, or Iron metals: As known from the literature, iron prohibits magic y the portal creates magic room and works magic …” they didn’t know how to end that paragraph, perhaps because the magic room is expanding?

“…,more and more room is being created anew!” now also REAL space is constantly expanding? Despite the fact that every second space all aropund you, inside you, is constantly expanding, therefore space (and thus room) is ALWAYS expanding, created in this very moment! Whether this thing is on, or not.

“Spirals are created in each second anew because of pressure and geometry, and helps you find into the present.” If you are THIS displaced from the space-time-continuum that you need a bronce showerhead with crystals in it to return you, you need help. More than a showerhead in the face could provide…

If you have people in your life that are displaced in time (Call the Doctor? No. He can’t help.), in desperate need of being electrocuted (electron exchange), set on fire (extra oxygen + electricity = fire), perforated by water at infinite speeds while drowning in an ever expanding room – invest your cash in this shower head.
In case it doesn’t work as advertised – you can use the shower head as a blunt weapon.

23. Dec 2014


The 3D elk is the perfect gift for anyone incapable of hunting, yet desperate to display an animal head mounted on the wall.
Nothing says “You suck at hunting you pretentious prick” like this.

22. Dec. 2014

22ZADKIEL Angel of the year 2015
2015 is the zear of Jupiter, and Zadkiel, an angel from the followers of the Archangel Michael, is the ambassador for 2015

Jupiter grants wishes
Realise your Lifepurpose

Is it just me or does the angel itself look like someone had taken a glassdildo and glued blue fairywings on it? So if you have a religous dimwit, who is in desperate need of some dildoeing while praying to the supposed angel of mercy who stopped Abraham from sacrificing Isaak to guide her through 2015 – these 279,95 Euro are well spent.

Floral/Fungal Journal – 2 Truths (ep8)

Forming a line, a group of twenty soldiers marched through a narrow artificial clearing. On the other side of the clearing a fence of logs had been erected, reaching about three meters high. Beyond it was another gap before more trees and mushroom caps appeared in Eidomas sight.

The border.

She pointed at the fence and then wiggled her hand, signaling Gulius that he should burn a hole inside it so the could escape, to which he shook his head.

Pointing at the strong patrol going in one direction he also made a sign in the other. Xavani did not know whether his assumption was correct, but nodded, also assuming that there ought to be an equally large patrol on the other side of the palisade.

Disgruntled Eidoma again wiggled her hand to signal that they could be burned too.

A noise at the palisade drew their attention.

Both Eidoma and Gulius gasped for air. “I know you’re in there! Emerge!” the general stood at the logs, he was clearly enraged. “Eidoma! Emerge!” he barked making Eidomas blood run cold. Sitting petrified in the underbrush she just stared at the huge man standing at the palisade. Cussing Xavani crawled to her, to Gulius’ surprise the floral woman sat up straight in front of the cowering fungal woman, pressing her breast against Eidomas mouth. “Drink and liberate yourself!” she hissed, knowing that all their lives depended on Eidoma fighting the man who was shouting out for her.


Surprise was written over the generals face as he saw Eidoma emerge from the bushes, together with Gulius and a floral woman.

Surprise and guilt.

Never should he have sent Eidoma after Gulius, knowing the two had feelings for one another. It was his faukt that she had laden herself with crimes against the empire, throwing away a glorious future as an officer. “I am so sorry child.” he mumbled.

“As am I.” she sighed.

Eidoma bowed before the general. “The light of truth will illuminate, it’s color will guide, now walk out of that blinding haze that has engulfed your soul.” she stepped back raising her hands, engulfing the surprised and confused general in a storm of flames, with another wink of her hands she threw the burning general and engulfing fire storm against the palisade, cutting a gaping hole into them. Alerted shouts and hasty stomps told of the patrolling guards return. Once again drunken with power Eidoma turned in the direction the guards came from. Fire and soil torn from the earth rose up in a cloud before her rushing towards the troops.

“Run!” she yelled over the noise of her attack, not averting her attention from what she was doing. Quickly Gulius and Xavani rushed through the gap in the palisade, Gulius immediately opening fire himself. He wished that he had received training to summon anything else but fire. On the other side of the palisade Eidomas inferno took on a life of it’s own, forcing her through the gap she had created. “Run on!” she screamed on top of her lungs, continuing to spew forth fire from her hands towards the guards on the republic side of the palisade. Distraught at how she behaved Gulius reluctantly fled with Xavani towards the forest, past the whimpering, dying general. Pausing for a moment he bent down to the man. “May the truth always engulf you.” he sighed.

A smirk appeared on the generals lips. Unable to speak he just smirked, while watching Gulius and the floral run, and Eidoma create more fire. As on the imperial side of the palisade her inferno took on a life of its own. Both the dying general and Eidoma were surrounded by raging fires. “You taught me well, my determination is unbroken.” she cowered next to the general. “More troops are on the way. Yes?” slowly the general nodded. Eidoma felt the power of pure nectar flowing through her, the tiny rest of reason in her mind went quieter and quieter.

21. Dec. 2014

21The Akasha Pillar.

So if you are lucky enought to have 4,499,00 Euro to spare, consider the following.

In your circle of friends, or relatives – no matter how distant – is there someone who believes in absolute bullshit? I mean like Orgone energy (that life giving and binding force that makes it’s believers look like people who think Star Wars is a documentary) and Chemtrails (Contrails that are so poisonous, laced with chemicals and pure death), Morgellons (fungi that grow out of your skin, adapt foreign DNA to form human- and rat-fetuses in your entrails, designed by the NWO distributed through CHemtrails), who believe that Aluminum is a heavy metal (uuuh….nope. Not gonna go there), who hide their kids when they only hear the word “vaccine” (*sigh*).

Do you?

Good! Then give them this monstrosity. This has as a catalyst a (I’m quoting!) “seven layered cheopspyramid” – Uuuuh…there is only ONE Cheops-Pyramid. It’s in Egypt. All other pyramids are pyramids, but not Cheops Pryamids. Period. And a “Corpus made from artifical resin finished with holy symbols and energised jewels” – what symbols? Crosses, Davidstars, Pentagrams, Sickelmoons, Mickey Mouse? Tell me! Or SHOW me in your promotional video! But nope. Corpus and Pyramid are connected through some copper pipes…

It is supposed to clear out the atmosphere and make Chemtrails (don’t exist) disappear.

So if you have a bafoon in your circle of friends/relatives, and too much money for your own good? Perfect!

20. Dec. 2014

HarmonyThis decorative ornament called “Harmony” is a balance between the massive wooden ornament and the fragile, facetted acrylglass pendant below.
“Unwrap, hang, enjoy!”

Personally, this looks like a Question mark. If you want to be confuse for the rest of your life, spend the 6.99 for this gem and feel the heart warming harmony of utter, debilitating confusion.

There will be much rejoicing underneath this questionmark of harmony.

19. Dec. 2014

Crap!This engagement ring, titled “Shit”, is a wonderful masterpiece of goldsmithery. It is kept slim and sleak to fit on every woman’s hand. The Crap is designed artfully and thus the dump accumulates to a few grams.

Perfect for the bitch you’re gonna marry, just to divorce the lying, cheating whore during the first pregnancy, which she announced a year and a half after you had your vasectomy…