EggFor all the hopeless romantics out there, desperate of bestowing a small defenseless lifeform on their beloved, but who are either unable to make babies happen, or are barred from doing so (by said beloved), there are two choices.
One: give them a real lifeform – not a VD – that might shit all over their home; which would result in any chances with the “beloved” melting away faster than snow thrown into a pit of lava;

or

Two: give them a small egg of hardened pink plastic with heartshapes. In and off itself already an eye soring cancer growth, one could keep until easter if no beloved is available at Valentines day.
BUT!
This is actually a remnant of the past. An archaeological “treasure” of electronic vomit inducers.
A Tamagotchi!
Yes, the cutesy, electronic, beeping nerve strain, constantly shitting in its egg, needing food and attention. It’s here for all those hopeless romantics who rub on people in the subway, as a distraction from all the beeping, buzzing, chiming and other electronic insanity that takes places in their pockets…

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