As you may or may not know, in this day and age you are dead to the world if you’re not social networking at some place.
That is especially true, and important, if you, like me, need to lure unsuspecting souls to your den where they’re…err…I mean, if you need to advertise your blog, and engange in conversations.

Well. This is the root of the problem for me. As you by now know, I am bad at advertising, and as you might have guessed, I suck at being social.
But that is not the point of this post.

This is about the social networking sites out there, and their flaws. So, shall we?

Facebook, the obvious contender, is swarming with a crapzillion people.
People of all coleur, age, sex and gender. Anti Vaxxers, Muslim terrorists, Christian proto Terrorists, and a crapton of idiots more. The “groups” are tacked on, treated like a wart, and not noteworthy. The app is less an app but more of a spy tool. Hastags suck on Facebook, as they were poorly ported from twitter.
“Facebook, our motto is: eat shit – 5 trillion flies can’t err.”

google+, although finally buzzing with life, it is not that well received. And it never will replace FB, why? Because it’s mandatory!
Wanna use YouTube? Google+
Wanna have a Birthday mural? Google+
People don’t like stuff that is mandatory. Even though this has groups, it stinks because of the mandatory nature. If school was optional, not mandatory, there’d be no bullies, kids would love it, and they’d learn. Think about that google, think about that….

Twitter, the site that made hastags popular! That is what I love about this. What I hate? THE BLEEDING CHARACTER LIMIT! Who came up with this shitty idea? I accept that the length of the message needs to be restricted, but the length that you’re giving us, is too friggin’ short!
Also, no groups.

Tumblr, why do you people hate groups?
Really, I’m flipping over this. Back on MySpace, bevore the revolutionaries castrated it, you had friggin groups. Public ones, private ones. What do the most popular sites have in that respect – nill. Facebook has tacked it on like a second head, google+ doesn’t know that group content should stay in the bloody group and not on my general timeline, twitter has nothing of the sort, and tumblr….oh….back on track

Tumblr, good for pictures, good for porn. There’s really not much else I can say about it.
Except maybe WHERE ARE GROU…search functions are good, and the tags can be followed.

LinkedIn, Frak this spooky shite!
Without giving that thing permission to search my contacts or anything, it suggests to me some teachers from my evening school.
So far, so scary, but good.
But then, out of no where, without me disclosing ANY details to my workplace, it suggests a member of the management team as a connection.

Frak no!

I am not working someplace where you could say it fits my interests. I’m working at my office because it brings me money.
Period. So how it got that information about me, I do not know.

Other than the spooky nature, it is a decent site. It has groups. Check. It has a search function. Check. It looks right, but feels wrong. At least to me.
Thank the gods for the use of an Alias!

Path, it’s funny you know? I could be classified as a hoarder. WordPress shows me that it can publicise to Path, I need to have path.
But there are issues I have with this. Search function, is well, hidden. Hashtags, unless you have those hashtags in your timeline, frak the hashtags. It says that there are no results. (And #comedy should be around somewhere. Right?) There is no desktop version of this crap. None. What so ever. So you have to use the app, and it looks & feels broken. Or unfinished. Anyone interested in connecting with me on Path? Just message me…I’m so lonely on Path…

VK, leave me alone. I do not want to give you my phone number. Sod off.
Besides, once you DO give up your number it is filled with Russians. So unless you can read Russian, this is no place to go.

MeWe, now here is a serious revolutionary.
A patient revolutionary.
Privacy, check.
Groups, check.
You can even set your profile for each group individually. Customisability, somewhat check. There is a search function and it is easy to grasp. The (android) app is sadly still in development, so the function to browse open groups is only available in web version, but hey. Good things take time. Unlike,

Tsū, which is a rushed, and now broken beyond repair, revolutionary.
The buzz was loud and far spread. People flocked to Tsū and it seemed as if the revolution against Fecesbook was finally taking place: Hashtags? Yes. Search function? Yes. Revenue back to the users as promised? Nope!
Only reposts; reposts of reposts of reposts got you some dough. Original content, which was supposed to be the shit on there – no money. What about group…frak it.
There’s still a few people and advertisers on there, but the masses have deserted, or defected, the “huge” revolution. Needless to say, I had joined the band wagon, for during the last revolution, I had stuck to the old, the losing side. Which brings me to,

MySpace, no. I’m not talking about the Capon that is left now after the Facebook revolution.
The old one.
The one where you had your blog, your groups, your friends, your friends newsfeed, your music, and 100% customisable profile all rolled into one.
THAT was dope. But then people left. Groups disappeared. Not the people of the groups until they faded into obscurity mind you, but the group function – poof. Gone. The revolution had struck: the king is dead, long live the king. Mark usurped Tom.
And why? Because we hate convenience (all in one), and like change (something shiny and new). We hate individualism (100% customisable profile on MySpace), and love conformity (back in the day not in the least customisable profile on FB; Not that the top image is that dope on customisability…).
What is left now is a poor haunting ghost of the former MySpace. The Logo is still there, but the rest – crap. And the app is matching the crappyness.

Well, you will see me around. On all of the above. If there are new ones, I will try them out, ad them to my collection of social networks.
Suggestions are always welcome, and connections as well. Have a nice one,
A.

PS: To give you an idea of how dead the revolutionary tsū is, here’s a screenshot:
image

If even the advertiser rats are leaving, it is a sure sign that the boat is not only sinking, but already sunk to rest next to the Titanic…

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