Problems with public toilets have been a reoccurring theme in our society.

As usual I am here to help!

It is simple:
•Excrete your feces into the bowl and leave them there.
•Urinate into the bowl, or the Urinal. Unsteady stream? Sit down.
•Wiping is done utilising toilet paper, not bare hands, socks or other things.
•Regurgitate directly into the bowl if possible.
•Ejaculate into a piece of toilet paper, nowhere else, if you are alone, that is.
•Bleeding, change your tampon, or call an ambulance, but don’t bleed freely everywhere.
•Flush. No, seriously, FLUSH!
•This is a no smoking area, there’s  methane in the air!
•Shooting yourself up with drugs is never good, but particularly bad here.

Print this out if you need or want to.

One last word of advice:
Feces, Urine, Vomit, Semen, Blood – none of these are an accepted source for painting the stall and ceiling over with. If you have uncontrollable artistic urges, bring a sharpie.
If you want to experiment with your fetishes, do it at home or a close friend’s house. Really close.

Life ain’t that hard, see?

Take care,
A.

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