Have you ever wondered what to do, surrounded by mountains of stained underwear and trousers that stood all by themselves?

It ain’t rocket science, people, it’s fairly simple:
1. Go through your dirty laundry, look for anything woolen, knitted, silk – burn it! That shit needs special attention, and we don’t do special treatments!
2. Divide the rest into two piles: brights and darks. If you are not sure whether something is bright or dark, it’s dark.
3. Take the first pile to the laundry machine, and fill the drum. DO NOT STUFF IT!
4. Fill in detergent, take antibacterial one, or else step 2 needs more steps. If using liquid detergent, take a cap full, if it’s the powder, take a third of that enclosed measuring shovel. Anything else is already portioned.
5. Drying. On the label there ought to be a square with a circle,  if it is crossed out, hang the piece. Drying rack, clothes line, noose, I don’t care.
Everything else – tumble dryer! If ot has the label OK and a print on it (Band T-Shirts for example), turn it inside out (or “from the left” as the jargon goes)
6. Ironing … you pretentious prick, can’t get enough, can you? Alright, because I am service oriented: Ironing, set up the board, turn on the iron, put item on the board, iron. DON’T LEAVE THE HOT IRON ON A PIECE!

Ain’t that a breeze? Now go and wash yourself….