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This horrid abomination, abducted from the nightmarish visions of some swedish crack addict in withdrawal, is available at IKEA (where else?).

This is the ideal gift to give the kid who’s abhorrent parents you detest. Slip it to them when the parents don’t look, with explicit instructions to open it when alone, to surprise mummy and daddy with their new gift.

The sight this will be when worn, might cause heart attacks, strokes, or acute trigger pulling (followed by jail time, including soap picking).
At the very least when nightmare kid in full on crack-addict-withdrawal-vision outfit tells them who gave the costume to them – your hatred of them is made known.

If you’ll excuse me, I have costumes to wrap…

Take care,
A.

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