Posts from the ‘Comedy’ Category

Covid19 shenanigans

Day 45 of Selfisolation / pseudo quarantine.

Work

Sleep

Work

Sleep

Enough!

A blue collar worker, an armed germaphobe and an undead warlock seek…

…seek a…

…a….

A GRAIL!?!

Covid19 shenanigans

Day 17 of self isolation / pseudo quarantine.

Telecommuting / Homeoffice.

You know what?

Screw this. Time to don the old pelt and staff.

Time for

the forbidden incantations…

Yep. Going crazy.

Cabin fever.

Woop woop.

Wash your hands. Stay home. Take care, A.

Covid19 shenanigans

Day14 of self isolation / pseudo quarantine.

The new shopping attire. Finally I might be able to leave the house.

Still stuck in telecommuting / Homeoffice. Still stuck at home. Only playing with Playmobil on the balcony…

Wash your hands, keep your distance, stay at home, be safe, and, as always, take care.

A.

Covid19 shenanigans

On day 2 of selfisolation/pseudo-quarantine I shaved my head – mostly because I thought “hey, I don’t have to see people for a while now, if this looks like shit, I can just sit it out”

I am already follically challengend (aka going bald) so it’s not that much of a change. ^^

On day 10 I’m ready to hop into this (imaginary/toy) rocket to get out of here.

Take care, wash your hands. Stay inside (your rocket ship). Be healthy and act responsibly.

A.

Covid19 shenanigans.

Day 9 of selfisolation (aka pseudo quarantine).

Had to increase the daily workout to 500kcal per workout (in roughly an hour) as a coping mechanism – telecommuting/Homeoffice sounds like fun until it is your daily routine, while also doing homeschooling, housework, making (improvised) food from provisions and trying to keep your sanity, all day everyday.

What is funny is that most supermarkets can’t deliver groceries right now, because they’re booked out.
By young(ish) people.

Because the old people, those who are most at risk by that virus, those whom we are trying to protect – they don’t give a fuck.
My mum (70+) is going shopping once a week and visiting people.
My neighbors (~60+) go jogging and shopping almost daily.
I see predominantly elderly people (or families) on the streets when I look down from our balcony.
So why exactly are we doing this again? To flatten the fucking curve? There’ll be no endangered population left once the curve has been flattened sufficiently! The old people will be dead, the vulnerable will be dead because some grandma somewhere coughed in the wrong direction and the healthy population that can take that virus will be sitting at home – again, now sick as fuck – wondering why they endured this quarantine BS on the first place.

Regardless of my humorous words, people, please stay home, wash your hands, and stay safe.
A.

PS: If you’re wondering whether I have time to write between dayjob, and the rest – no. I need peace and quiet, ALONE time, to write. I don’t have anything alone. My workout time, but that is reserved for workout, to stay SANE. 😉

An open letter

An open letter to the wasp that was just buzzing around my laundry rack, ready to fuck shit up.

The Digitally Dilapidated

During our stay in a four star hotel at the beautiful istrian beach, with warm, clear waters and a great view on Rovinj, I noticed something.
Parents, kids of all ages, entire families, couples, all just watching/reading shit of their phones, tablets, and in one case, a laptop even.

At breakfast, lunch, dinner, beach, pool, wherever.
“What did you see during your vacation in Coratia?”
“YouTube, Facebook and Instagram”
Fuck you.

Here, my conviction, that smartphones aren’t made for us, got it’s final veneer. Perhaps some future generation that is truly capable of multitasking might take advantage of this stuff, but it is not for us.

Instead of spending time with their families, their spouses, their parents, their siblings, their children, or just plain taking in the vistas, nature, clean air and relative silence, people are staring at their phones! Instead of getting away from the shit that they are confronted with daily at home, they take it with them EVERYWHERE, and then wonder, why they do not feel relaxed.
I had people at the hike through the Plitvica Lakes Nationalpark, looking at their phones, occasionally looking up, going “wow” snapping a crappy cellphone picture and then continue typing/reading shit.

For Fucks Sake! LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD! Not the virtual world. Converse with one another, and get more substance out of fewer connections, instead of more connections with less substance.
Moronic cancers of human (de)evolution.
Take care, and put away those fucking devices, make a scheduled “social media (half)hour” once a day, and other than that, no social media, no texts/messages. Same with news. Just calls.
A.

Vacation things

Grab a bunch of people from a variety of 4 star resorts at 0730 on a day long hiking (!) excursion to a bunch of lakes and
.a) half of them will not be dressed for the occasion: Flipflops and hiking don’t go together.
.b) half of them will have munched through their lunch packages by 0830.
.c) some will have NO or INSUFFICIENT hydration rations with them. There was this one hipster dude with a .33 liter drinking bag for himself and his girlfriend. The faucets in the park were ALL marked as “Water not drinkable”. I carried 1.5 liters for myself alone and still had to buy additional stuff.

To quote Scar from the Lion King: I’m surrounded by idiots…

A.

What is this supposed….

This Wookie egg, a contraption seemingly fashioned by Hagrid,

is actually a candle. What fucktart looked at a normal candle glass and then went “You know what this is missing? FUR!”

Who is this for? Who in their right mind is buying this shite?

I seriously hope that this is bait to put people on government watchlists odd some sort, this can’t be by/for normal people…

Long live the king!

This is the tale of how evil was vanquished by darkness…

There once was a King who ruled with a fist of ice.

The ice king.

Until one day the black knight triumphed over the foul sorcerer, and slay him.

The king is dead, long live the king. There can be only one true king!

And so, the black knight saved the land.

Take care…