Posts from the ‘Comedy’ Category

Cooking pro-tips III

Real men drink responsibly, just one vessel per day…

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Crappy Birthday in September 

Quite literally. 

For the city dwellers who can’t get enough of that sweet, sweet guano producing fowl that is ever omnipresent in urban areas the world over. 

Pigeons. 

Fathered crap bags. Cast in stone…or clay. 

“It reminded me of you.” Normally this can be a quite romantic line, but with this, you can tell a yuppie what you think of them. Urban crap bag. Ucrab. 

Crappy Birthday! A.

Cooking Pro-Tips II

 For real men there’s no such thing as too much cocoa.

Thirty years later…

 For real men there’s no such thing as too much coffee.

Cooking pro-tips I

Real men don’t cry cutting onions, they make onions cry.

Crappy Birthday in August 2017

Got that detestable garbage human Hipster scum in your circle of acquaintances?

Their birthday is coming up?

PERFECT!

These revolting socks are the perfect gift, for a perfect asshole. They will surely like it, because it is before they are cool, because they’ll never be cool. And these socks a shining (or screamingly loud) warning beacon. 

Warn others. Gift these socks.

Crappy Birthday.
A.

More irritating food stuff…

After all the other vile garbage (the ingredients to summon the vegan Demon of bad taste for example), I found the next questionable item to go with it. 

It is literally called “Test of courage”: 

A chocolate bar with enough Scoville to be allowed only from the age of sixteen up.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have my fill of tear jerking spiciness the old fashioned way:

The final nail in the coffin…

You don’t? I do. Because they’re shit. They do nothing for you, they don’t create “awareness”, they just look idiotic. Note to the guys: Combat feminist. She’ll neuter you with those slings. Run!

But this “individual” (in quotation marks because I don’t want to imply this is a sane person) isn’t alone in her abuse of taste. 


Hottest trend? HOTTEST TREND?? I would refer you to a doctor to get that nasty fungus treated if you showed up with this crap in my vicinity! 

Note to the guys: desperate man trap, or (criminally) insane. Run!


The fidget spinner trend seems to die down finally. Anyone with this crap on their nails wouldn’t be able to use a spinner anyway, plus they would look a proper fool. Note to the guys: if a girl (abd it wouldn’t be a woman) had those nails – jail. Too young to be legal, or mentally handicapped to the point where her consent doesn’t count. Run!
Hope this had been informal and entertaining. 

Take care, A.