Posts from the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Tales from the renovation part 2

After the walls had been drenched, and the floor had been soaked, the furst step had been to dry them.
Slashing the walls, drilling holes into the floor.

I wish they’d let me do the slashing and the drilling. You know, get some of that pent up anger out.

So, insurance pays new paint, new floorboards.

Renovation time, baby!

Since getting that part of the den painted and refurbished seemed like as good a time as any to actually re ew the furniture too, so you can store more crap, we decided to actually do that.

Furniture store.
This, I had to find out, might actually be that first stage of prehell horror and torment that religitards always rave on about.
“Here look at this beautiful furniture you can’t possibly afford!” Or “Look at this totally stylish, up to date, modern way of making a room … SEEM LIKE IT WAS DIGEST, SHAT OUT JUST TO BE HAMMERED IN SHAPE BY A LUNATIC WITH A RUBBER HAMMER …in your price category.”

And then of course, our little odyssey.

We went, we saw and we STILL are fighting. No vici this time. Not yet.

On the 14th we went to the furniture store and fell in love with these small closets.
We ordered them, together with a really neat wardrobe.
On the 26th we got a call that one of the closets we order, wasn’t available any more.

???

How, HOW on earth can we *buy* something that they do not have anymore? Or let me rephrase that, HOW can they SELL anything that they do not have???
I could understand if they couldn’t get that, and told us about the unavailability when we wanted to make the purchase. But twelve days LATER???

No worries though, they organised a showroom piece for us, at the great discount of 10 bucks.
It is in (paraphrasing) “best condition”.

So we went to pick up the packaged up pieces – which this furniture store couldn’t at all tell us how big they’d be, a feat that IKEA even puts on their website – luckily we could fit them in our car, them we went to pick up the prime condition showroom piece.

At first the showroom employee thought they had reserved the one with the kicked in door, and then it turned out the one we ACTUALLY had reserved was also damaged.
No purchase.
Keep that thing, and …. why on earth did they put a damaged showroom piece of a no-longer available closet BACK in the showroom?
Are they going to scam a few people out their money???

Anyway. As we try to rectify thst situation we got the walls finally painted and the floor renewed.
After they tore out the floor boards the PVC floor the forst tenants of this apartment had installed came back to the light of day.
The most 80s, vulgar, neon, trash design I have ever laid eyes upon. Just knowing that this is oit there underneath the new fkoorboards causes me to sweat in panic.
The most irritating fact is that someone WILLINGLY chose this. If I get up, on a daily basis, see this, I’d have to take cocaine. Upon coming home, again, cocaine!
But hey, it was the 80s.

Until a possible part 3, take care,
A.

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10 February 2017

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The storm’s still raging. The current geopolitical, and geosocial situation is a disaster, my country’s situation is stable, but odd (alternativefacts are abundant, eventhough I do not live in the US).

My personal status is … well, it is.

Hope you folks liked the RoF Season 1 bulk posting at the end of January, there will be a bulk posting of Season 2, but we’ll see when that happens. (Instead of an Adventcalendar? Only throughout January 2018? At the end of it? We’ll se, we’ll see.)

Hope you folks are well, while battle my inner demons, and the exterior crushing bullshit hail…

Take care,
A.

Life ain’t that hard, Livestreams

Here’s how to do Livestreams:
Step 1: Don’t.
Step 2: “Hold on, you’re one of those blogging types, what could you possibly know about…”
Step 3: Shut your face and pay attention!

Livestreams are becoming increasingly popular in the last year(s).
Yes, I noticed.

And here’s where the problem arises.

It’s the whole soiled pants situation we had with TV back in the day – people having to schedule their lives according to the program.
Which was crap.
It’s why we invented the god damn VCR, to free ourselves from external schedules!
Decades later the internet was big enough, stable enough, fast enough.

Enter streaming.

We now coul watch what we want, when we want, and in some cases even where we want, in all shades of legality.

So why does anybody think it to be a great idea to make a bloody lifestream??
Again some Schmuck is making a schedule that others are supposed to bend to.
So here is
Step 4: Record that shit, edit it, upload it. Done.

Livestreams, frak that shit.

Take care,

A.

01. Dec 2016

The festive season has begun, what better way to tell your morbidly obese relatives that they are food destruction machines (at least in your eyes).
Ideal, also for anorexic friends, relatives and foes: Destroy their self esteem.

Baubles from (food) hell.

Crappy X-Mas20161006_173602-1

Life ain’t that hard, elections.

There has been an election in my country recently, I’m sure you heard.

I am not here to comment on the outcome, there are far better qualified people to do so. 
But I had the opportunity to observe insanity take on a new form.

No not the candidates whoring themselves out at every possible opportunity, nor the fact that one looks like a molding armadillo the other like a skinned weasel greased in oil.

It’s people taking pictures of their ticked (marked) ballots and posting them on social media!
So they are not just partaking in a democratic process, but also in mindless self-affirmation – getting “Bravos” from like minded folks, and pissing off the community of the opposing side.
Some even took the sweet time to strike through the other candidate(s). Wasting their own time, that of the people waiting to get into the voting booth, that of the people sitting there who in the end would have to count the clumsy attempts that made it impossible to scan electronically and have it counted that way.

Look people, life ain’t that hard, even in when voting in an election. It’s rather easy, here:

0. If you live in a proto-dictatorship you have to register to vote instead of being eligible to vote by default.
1. Go to the place where you can cast your vote. (Note: In a free and truly democratic country you need to show your ID to prevent voter fraud.)
2. You get a ballot and an envelope to take to the voting booth. (Note: No booth? Call inter-/national TV News, a booth will magically appear.)
3. Tick the box/circle next to the favored choice. Mostly there’s more than two choices (except in proto-dictatorship countries or special elections), so make sure you actually mark the right one.
4. After stuffing the ballot into the envelope, leave the booth and put it in the locked ballot box. (Note: if the lock is missing, or open, call inter-/national TV News and the police, take pictures of it, mail those to newspapers!)
5. You’re done! Take your ID, and the great feeling of having participated in a democratic process, go home and reward yourself with some icream or a prolonged jerk-off marathon.

No snapping pictures of your ballot. No drawing or writing on your ballot.
No anything except the TL;DR version of above list: Go in, tick a circle, stuff in box, leave.
Saves you time and effort, saves those coming in after you time and nerves, everyone wins.

Please do note: You can of course watch the first election results trickling in on the special news shows that day, but let me ask, why the hassle?
You have cast your vote. Everything else in this election, is now OUT OF YOUR HANDS!
Take a drink in a fancy bar, go out and eat, visit a brothel, inspect the crawlspace of your home. Have fun, or be productive.
But don’t sit there like a moron and watch the results as if you had to leave the country with hastily gathered belongings otherwise. If it has come to that point a wise person would go to vote, and then leave the fountry preemptively.

The next day, or two days later, the results will be final. Your nerves have not been stressed out, you had a relaxing day, and can take the news more relaxed that the shitheads you least wanted almost took over.

Take it easy. Life ain’t that hard.

Take care,
A.

Dolphins and People – a rant.

As a writer – especially in my preferred field of fantasy and science fiction – it is my ‘obligation’ (sort of) to take the human condition, and mirror it.

Reflect the ugly human visage back to the reader, make them think and change their way of thinking.

I find it difficult, nigh impossible, to do so these times, when one newsstory about a dead dolphin baby says everything and anything there is to say about the current, psychotic nature of the human condition, the deranged state of mind our society currently is in.

Looking for quick validation by our peers, no regard for others be they animal or fellow humans:
A baby dolphin, used as a photo prop, handed around like it was a plushie even after it had already died, later it was dumped on the very same beach where it had been plucked from the waters, like some piece of cardboard cutout, or worse, garbage.
Why?
No, no one wanted the meat or fat, no one took the skin or bones.
No.
Just pictures.
Pictures no one will care for two weeks later, with or without the media outcry.
Quick likes by peers for validation of the self centered, egotistical and, yes, heavily narcissistic selfie-asshats that pollute the finite storage capacity of the net with their garbage pictures of always the same faces grinning into the camera, with but one desire behind the images – to garner attention.

No one is making these to show where they are, to show what incredible thing they do/did, to demonstrate something.
No.
They all just want attention.
All of the time.
Likes and compliments, keep them coming to these attention whores, the whole lot of them.
And that is a testament to our society as a whole.

Idiots protesting or rioting against people who have had to leave everything, sometimes everyone (for dead) behind, just to save their lives; congratulating themselves on the successful riots/protests, videotaping or photographing their deeds, putting them online, yelling (semi-)racist things, feeling strong in the masses because the impact and general success they have as an individual is negligible beyond worth mentioning in their own resumé, which could be summarised as a blank page of failure – why they do it?
Validation.
Again, they get selfworth out of this. They get likes, they get attention, even if it is negative attention, they at least get some. And there are enough of their own breed to give them positive attention.
This list could be continued to include science deniers and other rebels against the “mainstream” (which doesn’t really exist,  come to think of it), all in the effort to get selfworth, to push narcissists and to get attention for either themselves or their goals, and validation of values.

Again, how could I as a writer take this and mold it into a story that would be better (on a metaphorical level) than the news story about the dead dolphin, and the selfabsorbed selfie people?

I couldn’t, even if I have tentacle monsters from the deep abduct and drown a little kid for entertainment purposes only, having the twist at the end that the tentacle creatures are humans.
It can be seen as a metaphor for anything ‘refugee-crisis’ (sic!) related, as no one truly seems to care for the refugees and what drove them to become refugees, only their own (political/personal/economic) agenda is being driven onward, with the refugee situation being just a front.
Again, someone in need/plight is picked up, handed around like a prop, everyone “takes pictures”* (sometimes flattering, sometimes not so much), until the ‘prop’ is thrown away. Discarded like garbage, treated worse, possibly dead.

*- “takes pictures” is a metaphor for anything and everything related to the refugees here. Whether it is PRO or CONTRA doesn’t matter. Pictures, videos, figments or articles – all sides do their own, and just USE the subject matter.
A few voices call for action to make the refugees’ home land(s) safe again, but that are just a few. There surely were a few people on that beach yelling for the baby dolphin to be returned to the sea before it dies from heatstroke. Were they heard? Sure. Were they heeded? It’s dead. From heatstroke. You decide…but the answer is no.

All advances we have made as a society to overcome these inhumane practices (including, but not restricted to: xenophobia, generalising, treating helpless animals like toys, ignoring/negating people’s needs and plights, ignoring/dismissing scientific truth, ignoring evidence and truths, etc.), to reach an age in which we can share information at the speed of light, where one can learn new and wondrous things at every hour, around the clock, seven days a weeks, in every room of the house, with a device in hand that is smaller than a palm. Living in a society that has a hralth and education systems our grandparents would envy us for, having achieved a level of tolerance with people of “other races” (imo there’s no such tbing, but that’s moot here), religions and ethnicities unthinkable just a hundred years, or even fifty years agao. All these advances are being ignored, or twisted into their demonic counterparts from planet dungball.

Makes one question how to continue writing in a meaningful way, and what distorted ugly visage I as a writer would have to portray, to make it accurate enough to be recognised, yet obsucre enough to fit my narrative needs, without turning my innocent stories into snuff.

Still, I will not quit writing, you won’t get rid of me this easy. I just needed to vent…

Until next time, take care,
A.

Eurovision Song Contest

So there’s this article in the news here (clipping at the bottom), telling us that they are planning to have sewer/manhole covers play the winning finalist songs of the past song contests so far.

Don’t get all nuts about this, it’s the same idiotspeople who condense roughly 900 years of history into 18 pages, so take everything they claim with a HUGE grain of salt.

If it was true however, that city council decided or planned to install this kind of entertainment in manhole covers throughout the city, my question is less a question of “why?” (since most people wear earphones or are too distracted to listen to the sewer noises) but a resounding “how?”.

Did they find a stack of old Walkmen (walkmans?) in an attaic in the council house? Are they now in the process of recording songs on tapes, and there will be workers in the sewers turning cassettes all day long and replacing batteries? “Riiiiiissse…..liiiiiiikeee….a”
Or have you “found” a truck load of iPhones and bluetooth loudspeakers, charging the songs on the councils iTunes bill? Who charges the phones? What happens when it rains?
Are they installing giant frak ass speakers in the seweage treatment plants blasting this shite into the sewage pipes? Will I now have to listen to this crap when I take a dump?
Is it “live” and a band is placed down there?

Besides the technology, and the exact “how”, it IS fitting to play this shitty music in the sewer, maybe it even drives out the rats…

At first I pondered whether they found this on a fake news site, but not even those pricks have that much imagination, this is the kind of whack idea that either was conjured up by a “journalist” on a slow, SLOW, SLOOOOOOW day, or that was actually discussed in the city council. (Which only shows you what kind of idiots we’re dealing with here)

It baffles me.
But, I must remind all of us, it is Oesterreich we’re talking about.

Here’s the clipping…oesterreich musik kanal