It was kinda cute when back in the early days some Schmuck opened up the group “If I can get 1 Million Likes my Wife lets me redecorate our home into a Pirateship!”.

Yeah. I liked that crap, because it was kinda cute and I wanted that guy to live his pirate dream!



It turned into a sort of Farce when the slogan came up “Can this Prezel have more likes than Tokio Hotel?”, I still participated, but it felt weird. (Yeah the nuthouse does that…)

But when I got served with the following two Facebook-exhibits, I lost all faith in humanity.

Exhibit A: A girl that sold on an auctioning platform a two month Facebook Relationship. You know, for two months she’d be listed as being in a relationship with you on facebook if you bid and won.
Exhibit B: “If I get 1 million likes C. will have sex with me!” – this is creeping me out on more levels than I care to admit. Congratiulations Bro, you got your 1 Mio.Likes, but don’t you feel like the most cheap ass dude on planet earth? ALL of the internet knows that you have (had?) a crush on C. and ALL of the internet knows that she didn’t really think you could get 1.000.000 Likes (last time I checked it was over 2 million!), which is why she made the deal, and ALL of the internet knows that you got to bang her (presumably). To the girl: WHORE!!!! You sold your coochie for an invisible, and non tangible thing, to a guy you didn’t want to have sex with in the first place!

You can’t buy anything with a like.

You can’t exchange a like into a real currency.

You can’t tell anybody without feeling an extremely overwhelming wave of SHAME. The stale feeling of having prostituted yourself for NOTHING will never fade, and never go away.

Quite literally – you’re fucked.

Ladies and Gentle men, I present to you – the birth of the Facebook-whore!


These two incidents reminded me of a story that I have read about on a no-quality British newspaper site: Two guys, both sixteen, were at court, as the victims of a woman who then was fourtyseven. They had vandalized the car of the womans exBF when they were thirteen. As a reward she had promised – and subsequently delivered – the two boys sex.

The one that had made the whole thing court known was the one I can’t understand here.

I would’ve kept my mouth shut.

He was lying on the bed and she was riding him. He stopped her before he came and left as his pal was going down on the woman. He felt emotionally scarred and dirty.

Which is why I would’ve kept my mouth fucking shut.

Despite the fact that I would’ve proceeded with the original plan like the second dude, even when thirteen, even IF I would feel dirty and would’ve aborted the intercourse – I’D HAVE SHUT UP ABOUT IT!

The world (and potential future mating partners) doesn’t need to know!


And last but not least, if you like this we will donate an imaginary dollar to starving children on Triton the seventh moon of Saturn, if you share it, your soul will be saved, if you ignore it, you will be sodomized by demons with burning spiked cocks.