Posts tagged ‘2015’

Gifts for Enemies (Christmascalendar 2015)

Holy Crap!

I had completely forgotten to make a complete list of last years Christmas Calendar!

01. Dec 2015
02. Dec 2015
03. Dec 2015
04. Dec 2015
05. Dec 2015
06. Dec 2015
07. Dec 2015
08. Dec 201509. Dec 2015
10. Dec 2015
11. Dec 2015
12. Dec 2015
13. Dec 2015
14. Dec 2015
15. Dec 2015
16. Dec 2015
17. Dec 2015
18. Dec 2015
19. Dec 2015
20. Dec 2015
21. Dec 2015
22. Dec 2015
23. Dec 2015
24. Dec 2015

31. Dec 2015

Enjoy, and don’t forget, NO Storyposts in December 2016, only Christmascalendar!

Hope you enjoyed the first season of RoF (Rings of Fate). Expect more. 🙂

Take care,
A.

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Back to the Future II (Welcome Marty!)

This is another irregular post, because today is the day.

Oct 21 2015

All too often people say “Where’s our Hoverboard?” or the flying cars. See, BttFII was a scifi movie, and all too often their predictions about the future are plain wrong.
Or we use the wrong “filter”.

SciFi is not always upfront with their messages, and their warnings. You just have to use the right filter, I think BttFII was spot on.

•Take the self lacing shoes – a message of not only convenience, but a warning of lazyness. There are motorized shoppingcarts. Okay? We don’t need selflacing shoes, we have people so fat and lazy they need a motorized shopping cart! Amazon delivery drones – is anybody home????

•”Jaws 19″ – well, do I even HAVE to rant about “Movies these days are only sequels/prequels/retellings/reimagenings/alternate universe/backstory/adaptations from books/shortstories/comics/manga/anime/cartoons/urban legends….” No? Good. Jaws 19 is a metaphor for this development. We may not have 19 sequels to Jaws, but it sure feels like it. Star Wars 7, with spin offs in planing and production, the entire Marvel crap, the n-th incarnation of Batman, Superman Spiderman and X-Men, and so fracking on.
Jaws 19, folks. Jaws 19! (Let us not touch 3D and its shittines)

•A fax machine in every corner of the house – a screen in every corner/pocket connected to the net. I have a smartphone, a tablet, a laptop, a netbook, my wife has a smartphone, a tablet, a notebook and we have a huge ass TV. People are online ALL DAMN DAY! You may not get fired through your smartphone, but because of actions taken on it (facebook post dissing your boss, and BAM you’re fired. f.e.)

•Tech obsession with multiple TV Channels and personal gadgets as well as handsfree gaming – uuuhm…see above’s paragraph for details…

•DeHydrated Pizza – It is not so much the Pizza in and of itself that is spot on, but our addiction to easy access, pre-made junk food. Microwave Popcorn and other such foods, instant ramen, bread you bake for ten minutes and you have a loaf of bread? Are you kidding? BttFII was dead on.

Of course there was other stuff they were right about, and some they were wrong about. But these are the things that people rant about the most.
So, yeah, welcome Marty, please turn things right in the past.

Good luck, and as always,
Take care,
A.

Eurovision Song Contest

So there’s this article in the news here (clipping at the bottom), telling us that they are planning to have sewer/manhole covers play the winning finalist songs of the past song contests so far.

Don’t get all nuts about this, it’s the same idiotspeople who condense roughly 900 years of history into 18 pages, so take everything they claim with a HUGE grain of salt.

If it was true however, that city council decided or planned to install this kind of entertainment in manhole covers throughout the city, my question is less a question of “why?” (since most people wear earphones or are too distracted to listen to the sewer noises) but a resounding “how?”.

Did they find a stack of old Walkmen (walkmans?) in an attaic in the council house? Are they now in the process of recording songs on tapes, and there will be workers in the sewers turning cassettes all day long and replacing batteries? “Riiiiiissse…..liiiiiiikeee….a”
Or have you “found” a truck load of iPhones and bluetooth loudspeakers, charging the songs on the councils iTunes bill? Who charges the phones? What happens when it rains?
Are they installing giant frak ass speakers in the seweage treatment plants blasting this shite into the sewage pipes? Will I now have to listen to this crap when I take a dump?
Is it “live” and a band is placed down there?

Besides the technology, and the exact “how”, it IS fitting to play this shitty music in the sewer, maybe it even drives out the rats…

At first I pondered whether they found this on a fake news site, but not even those pricks have that much imagination, this is the kind of whack idea that either was conjured up by a “journalist” on a slow, SLOW, SLOOOOOOW day, or that was actually discussed in the city council. (Which only shows you what kind of idiots we’re dealing with here)

It baffles me.
But, I must remind all of us, it is Oesterreich we’re talking about.

Here’s the clipping…oesterreich musik kanal

Easter presents…

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This easter rabbit can count the eggs hidden behind the house, sitting on the front porch.

Now take this trashbag, and haul this year’s sodded easter crap off…

Fiendish Easter I
Fiendish Easter II
Fiendish Easter III
Fiendish Easter IV
Fiendish Easter V

Yes, yes this was the index for this year’s Easter.
A.

Fiendish Easter IV

shudderThis cackling and jiggling chick is the latest of motorized easter gimmicks.

Scaring away Spring and Fertility Spirits, small children, and even Jesus, this demon – placed behind the door after the scare tactics of a dismebodied rabbit head had failed – will succeed in preparing for the arrival of the antichrist….

Fiendish Easter III

BunnydoorThis door ornament is, I have to admit, cute.
At first glance.

Once you realise this cute thing is nothing but a disembodied head it turns psychotically evil. What kind of sociopath mounts a cute bunny head on their door? Isn’t this like mounting the head of a pretty supermodel on your door?
It would not be inviting.
That kind of nightmare fuel you find in creepypastas, police reports of pschotic murders or ISIS propaganda.  “Hey, it’s easter, let’s behead a rabbit and post the head as a warningwelcome on our door! Christ would be soooo proud…”

Perhaps the rabbit drew a caricature of the prophet…

31. Dec. 2014

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Crappy New Year’s!

Pin this on some Schmuck at tonight’s party to mark him/her as someone not to be taken home or kissed into the new year…