Posts tagged ‘advert’

Advertising, again

Advertisers the world over celebrate the fact that I’m not in power of a world wide government.

Why?

Because I would outlaw advertising.

But that isn’t what irked me to do today’s post.

It was a cross promotion I was bothered with on YouTube lately.

A Star Wars Solo and Car cross promotion.

First off, if your goated to see that good awful movie because of this, all hope for you is lost. All hope for you lineage is lost.

Secondly, if you’re prompted to purchase that car because the advertising was affiliated with Star Wars… then get into that car, start the engine, find a nice steel reinforced concrete wall, and drive into it at top speed.

I know, the advertising sluts are banking on the cliche nerds in their mid thirties to early forties, who had to move out of their parents basement and now need/want a car. But they fail to realize that THOSE Star Wars nerds, HATE the new movies.

All in all it is a sign of failure.

You buy that ticket, you lose (money and time).

You buy that car, you lose (money and dignity).

You made this advert, you lost (dignity, money, trust, customers, time)

Really, I hope that everyone involved in this gets some repugnant skin disease that mutilates their faces for eternity.

Take care, and stop advertising, really.

A.

Advertisements

Shamelessness

Or: Why I suck at marketing

This is about my apparent inability to generate more views or followers for my blog. (Christmas Calendar not withstanding, that time was great, thank you people. Be prepared for X-Mess 2015!)

Let me get one thing out of the way before you shake your head in disgust and surf on: I’m not measuring my success with Likes or Followers.
They give me validation, yes.
But I get much more validation through views.

Why?

I read and watch a lot of stuff on the net, without handing out ‘likes’, yet I’ve read or watched it.
I even come back to read/watch more, culminating in me ‘following’.
This can go on for ages without me handing out a single ‘like’.
Views therefore mean much more to me than the occasional ‘likes’. (“You’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it!”)

This bit is about my apparent inability for shameless self-promotion.
In many groups I have joined online, no matter where (facebook, google+, MeWe, etc.) an Author hirself will show up and be like:

No_one-EvarHeardOf posted: From the acclaimed writer of the brilliant Theobald Quincy Cockburn-Hutzenbrutzen novels, the incandescentMy-Intestines-burn trilogy, comes the new bold part 1 of 5000, in the excitingly fiery series 51 shades of beige!

And I just can’t do that.
No one knows my name, no one gives a frak. So why would, or should, I pretend to be an ‘acclaimed writer’? (Or something similar)
Close to no one (except you brave souls who dare venturing to my blog when a new story part comes out) ever heard of my writings. So citing them as a reference – moot.

I just can’t lie boldly in the face of a potential audience, to garner their interest. If I were to get paid for this, I’d feel like I swindled someone out of their savings! Unlike money, the time, I would steal from my (potential) audience, can not be returned. So I have even greater reservations, from just going online and boldly claim shit, that I think is only true inside my head!

Pride in one’s accomplishments is completely justified, but if you’re a relatively unknown individual – do not assume a title like ‘acclaimed writer’, nor praise your own work as the greatest thing since the pyramids.
That makes you look like a complete Schmuck!

(And that, by the way, is why the Schmucks always get great view counts, good sales and great advertising cash, while most honest writers dwell in dirt, and their schmucky heirs later bathe in cash…or honest Schmoe turns into douchy Schmuck)

Yes, dear readers.
This is the reason why, if you came here following one of my ever repetitive social network posts, or discovered one of them, that post sounded sorta lame, and why there only will be equally lame posts.
I will not dash out there posting “From the fresh new writer yourstruly, comes the deeply philosophical, beloved story: Mr. Zed!”

“From the acclaimed writer of the philosophical Zombie Masterpiece Mr. Zed, here’s the highly brain tingling ‘Whose World’ series!”

Take care, and avoid the flyin bovine waste,
A.

PS: I think what bothers me almost as much as the airborne bovine waste distribution methods (aka Bullshit flyong around), is these people are talking in third person of themselves. Only royals (do I need to go there?) and crazy people do that. I ain’t crazy enough for that. (Yet!)

Beating the Financial Market

Two dudes walk into a restaurant, one has his eyes glued to the screen of his cellphone, tries to locate blindly a hook for his coat. And mumbles “Somewhere around here ought to be a hook.” he tries a few times and catches his coat as it almost fell. “No hook!” he smiles into the camera, and the two dudes proceed to find a table. (In german it’s a word play implying that there is no catch.)  

What I describe here is an ad for an app on your cellphone that lets you trade stocks. And it made me really angry.
For two reasons.

Number one, as you all know – I hate advertising. And stupid advertising in particular. Sometimes it seems they take their ideas from Necronimc…fecesbo…nuthouse journa…facebook feeds “Look how stupid I am, LOOK!”… I digress

Number two, and this is what made me angry enough to write a post about it: These people, these blood sucking leeches, who have almost ruined the world wide economy TWICE in the last twenty years or so (Tech/.com bubble and housing bubble), now need an app on their cellphones so they can continue to wreak havoc on us working people, comfortably from EVERYWHERE!

People who are NOT producing shit, who aren’t providing even a faint hint of a service, who ruin the lives of hardworking people all over the globe, and they can do it EVERYWHERE now!

This angers me. People too incompetent to manufacture anything, intellectually incpabale of providing any sort of service, make shitloads of money by ruining the economy and the lives of people who actually put effort and sweat in to get some money.

Originally stocks were a good idea:
Give the workers a financial interest in the company they work for. GOOD!

Now – it’s pervers.

It should be outlawed as it serves NO PURPOSE other than to provide crooks a place where they can steal money, make money out of nothing, and trade money that doesn’t exist, legally. Purely virtual amounts of money (with no real life basis) are shoveled around – it kind of reminds me of a nuthouse, people trade things with one another that aren’t there!

Would you give the clinically insane an App so they can trade their imaginary things? And if so, would you advertise for it?

C’mon, really?

A.