Posts tagged ‘annoying’

BTH – ASMR…

Why is this even a thing?

These are people who do not know how to use a microphone: they’re breathing into one as if they wanted to either swallow, or make sweet sweet love to it.
That is NOT how you use a mic, dumbass.

I’m not one to deny others their kink, far from it, but you wankers want the “girlfriend experience” – without the “experience” part.
You see, afaik, some prostitutes offer “the girlfriend experience” (for extra of course), and then you get cuddling, kissing, sweet talk, and what not (I imagine). There you get an actual experience.
With this crap you get no experience.

If I were one to go on business trips around the globe, so when I lay my weary CEO head down to cry on a cushion stuffed with stacks of cash while I pleasure myself to sleep, my beloved trophy wife is not able to lull me through it on the phone thanks to timezones, I’d have her breathe into a mic for half an hour, nude, and then play that video back to me.
I am not.
These people are not near and dear to me.
On the polar opposite.
They are complete and utter fraking strangers!
Making all of this a little creepy…

I would almost understand this, if it were porn [porn-porn. Not this brain-porn crap that someone equated this bullshit to]:
A naked chick (or guy, what have you), giving an imaginary protagonist (the camera) a POV girlfriend experience.
With sweet talk, breathing into a microphone, sensual descriptive talk about what they ‘are doing’ with you, complete with ‘noise’.

But this is people breathe-talking in the most annoying fashion possible [not whispered, not spoken, but the dimwitted bastard offspring of the two, that’s too loud and pronounced to be soothing or comfortable, but too low and hushed to be easily intelligible], making noise too close to the microphone [if I for example were to crave the sound of a girl brushing her long long hair, I want to hear it like normal people hear it, not the way a mic taped to the back of the brush picks it up!], and saying the most ridiculously mundane crap ever [if you have no one in your life you can talk about bowel movements with, stop the ASMR, quit your busy job and get friends and/or a spouse, because that is what you NEED]!

Get outta here!

But note, after this election I understand everyone who needs to get relaxed in any way shape or form.

Beating the virtual (pt. whatever)

I have given up.

Or rather I’m in the process of giving up.

Today while checking my tweets I got an advertising tweet.

AN ADVERTISING TWEET!!!

KILL IT

KILL IT

Really? A frakking advertising tweet?
Here’s my idea: BANNERS!
Do these god awful banners they do everywhere else! For all I care do ad-banners on the App’s as well. This would be okay, but giving me TWEETS that look like legit tweets, that is fraud!
Right out fraud!

Just like YouTube spamming me with advertising clips in my suggestions.
And a banner on top of my YouTube start page.
And forced clips at the beginning of a YouTube Video. And banners in the videos…

Okay, okay, I get it. Advertising tweets…clever…guess where I will be only dropping off my tweets informing my followers of updates on the Blog without reading any tweets myself!?
(Why is me posting updates on my blog any different than the advertising tweets? I don’t force it on people who are NOT my followers; if my followers and friends are annoyed by it, they can unfollow me. Period. While advertising tweets are suddenly there. Although you can click them away, they still are annoying…)

Wonder what will be next….oh I know! Advertising blogposts that are sent to my via E-Mail…”ImLovingIt posted: How yummy tastest the new MacShit? I never believed that gazillions of Flies were right but here it is…” -_-

I need ad blockers. For twitter, youtube and every other place that I’m on. Gladly I have left Fecesbook Facebook for good…

Amok egoism…

… I may not be Mr. Considerate myself, but I have gotten a reasonable amount of social competence from my mother, enough as to not being a tital prick.

Why am I writing this? At the time I write these lines, I was standing in a train, happily typing away on part four of act 3 of “Whose World” when the egoism around me, runs me over! First there is this little shit that stood just right in front of the door of the train, people were not able to exit it faster because of him. Just so Shitty McShitpants could get a seat.
Good work asshole!

Then the douchebag “I am important, Motherfucker” shows up and hangs his bag (a travelbag) on the handrail of the cab, so the starway is half blocked. I wished someone had tripped over it and sued that sunshaded prick for damages.
Asshat.

Idiot leaves with his bag, cue intro Twatty O’Twat, also known as the Onioncunt!
It should be prohibited under highprized penalties to enter any public transport with smelly food! Like in this case Onion Pizza. Happily munching away ger pseudo Italian cuisine she positioned her cart like bag – guess where – right, IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING STAIRS!! Later it fell over blocking all of it!

Which reminds me: no cart bags! You aren’t going on a trip? You aren’t shopping? Forget the wheeled bag!
Get a backpack, pack light or heavy, go.
Get a bag, pack light, go.
Get a cart, you better be shopping!

You know how irked I gotta be to stop writing?
Very.

Now if the selfcentered egomaniacs continue to show up in the bus, I’m going to turn violent… (how can people wonder why some people actually go on killingsprees?)

A.