Posts tagged ‘Austria’

Vacation. 

Sorry to bore you guys and gals with my vacation stuff, but it is inevitable. Even weirdos like me go on vacation with the wife and kid. 


There’ll be hiking.


There’ll be waters. 


In case the weather decides to present us with an english summer,


I come prepared!
I don’t know if I’ll be able to supply you with new and exciting material while away. So I had prepared this little assembly of adventure for you.

Take care, A.

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Do not come to Austria!

That is the message our foreign ministry wants to send to potential migrants/refugees from Afghanistan, by running a campaign in TV Radio and on busses and print there.

Are you fraking kidding me?

This is called negative advertising. It makes people want to come to Austria. Why?

Simple psychology. “They don’t want us going there. It must be the land of milk and honey, lets go there!”

Jesus refugee Christ in a warzone.
Do these people have advisers? Do these advisers have a functional brain and/or sense of reality? Let alone a degree in psychology? I know I don’t have one, but I’d go to the land that ADVERTISES not to come.

Clearly a lot of effort and cash went into making these anti-adverts, and that means, they got to hide something, don’t want to share.
I need to go there!

Dear ministry of foreign affairs in Austria, step down.
All of you.
Now.

The refugee crisis won’t be solved by running anti-adverts for Austria in the countries where many of the refugees come from. Help ending the wars. Then the refugees will go home, or stay there.
Simple. Takes more effort, but the solution is really simple…

Take care,
A.

Eurovision Song Contest

So there’s this article in the news here (clipping at the bottom), telling us that they are planning to have sewer/manhole covers play the winning finalist songs of the past song contests so far.

Don’t get all nuts about this, it’s the same idiotspeople who condense roughly 900 years of history into 18 pages, so take everything they claim with a HUGE grain of salt.

If it was true however, that city council decided or planned to install this kind of entertainment in manhole covers throughout the city, my question is less a question of “why?” (since most people wear earphones or are too distracted to listen to the sewer noises) but a resounding “how?”.

Did they find a stack of old Walkmen (walkmans?) in an attaic in the council house? Are they now in the process of recording songs on tapes, and there will be workers in the sewers turning cassettes all day long and replacing batteries? “Riiiiiissse…..liiiiiiikeee….a”
Or have you “found” a truck load of iPhones and bluetooth loudspeakers, charging the songs on the councils iTunes bill? Who charges the phones? What happens when it rains?
Are they installing giant frak ass speakers in the seweage treatment plants blasting this shite into the sewage pipes? Will I now have to listen to this crap when I take a dump?
Is it “live” and a band is placed down there?

Besides the technology, and the exact “how”, it IS fitting to play this shitty music in the sewer, maybe it even drives out the rats…

At first I pondered whether they found this on a fake news site, but not even those pricks have that much imagination, this is the kind of whack idea that either was conjured up by a “journalist” on a slow, SLOW, SLOOOOOOW day, or that was actually discussed in the city council. (Which only shows you what kind of idiots we’re dealing with here)

It baffles me.
But, I must remind all of us, it is Oesterreich we’re talking about.

Here’s the clipping…oesterreich musik kanal

History class(less)

My country, Austria, in central Europe, is over a thousand years old.
Well. The oldest written record concerning Austria is over a thousand years old, from AD 996, so it stands to reason to assume that the country in and of itself is a bit older than that.

A thousand years of history, from dark ages, crusades and wars fought on this soil, to modern day achievements and discoveries.

There is a newspaper in this country that has named itself after this country, and for some odd reason or another they made a book about the thousand years of history in this country, claiming that one could find everything in that book concerning those thousand years…
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For that, however, they kept it rather concise: 80 pages, and that includes our crappy anthem. (Please observe that the Index puts a two page anthem article on page 80, and in reality it is pages 78-79)
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A 78 page esay – in a regular format like A4, not the oddly sized bookling we’re talking about here – might be enough to write about the time since 1995, ever since the election concerning Austria joining the EU was stolenheld, the center-right government was in power and the banking crisis of recent years took place.
MIGHT.

At the same time, this bookling is another great analogy of my own history classes.

I sat in history classes for four years during my regular school career. We had two years in which we did everything from the dawn of time as we know it, up until 1938, and everything after 1945 to the present.
The other two years we stuck with that 7 year period (from hell). Austria joining Hitler Germany, all the way to the end.

This bookling isn’t doing that per se, but boasting about 1000 years of history and then from page 18 on forward only doing 20th century (and the beginning of this one) is NOT doing the other 900 years any justice!
So if you are planning on doing anything like this for your country, be honest.
The last 100 years are better documented (and more detailed so) than the previous 1000 together. Our bias towards the recent history therefore, is natural.

But if you are claiming to teach history, in form of a class or a book(ling), treat the topics like you would unruly children: be objectively and treat them equal.
Otherwise you end up with something like this. Proof that infinity exists.

How’s that you ask? In theory, if you had enough time (=infinity) you could throw your wet laundry in the dryer and it might, on one occasion, come out not only dry, but also perfectly folded.
This bookling must have come into existence in such freak accident. Paper and printing ink were combined by some miracle of infinity to create this, without any human supervision or interference of any kind. No journalists, no printing, no anything. Just a mysterious explosion that shatspat out this creation. A miracle. A crappy one, but still….
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Stuff Friday 04.10.2013

Greenpeace

The folks trying to teach Russia not to drill for oil in the artic face up to 15 years in prison.

Good.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all in favor of saving the environment, but idiocy needs to be punished. If all that (criminal) energy, the money they spent for their frakking ship (and the frakking fuel for said ship!) would be put to actually good use – like eliminating the NEED to drill for oil – that would be helpful.

Imagine that, stopping at the gas station, and tanking biofuel from Greenpeace in your car. Or hydrogen. Or electricity.
If Greenpeace would want to do somethong REALLY good, it needs to do the same the US Republicans need to do – GET RID OF YOUR CRACIES! The fanatical lunatics need to go. Muslims, Republicans, Greenpeace, EVERYONE: take your fanatical lunatics and show them out. Never let them back in.
Period.

Earthquakes

Two weeks and just as many earthquakes. I know for you westcoast US americans this is like vacation, but it is oddly often here. And the epicenter for both quakes was Ebreichsdorf. I hope they get a new hymn there: “AC/DC – Shook Me All Night Long” 😉

Political commentaries

I’ll leave those to better qualified people, hence I won’t tell you why I think that the rightwingers got so many votes in the recent election.

What I will do however is tell you what I think of parties gaining ground by claiming that education needs reform (again): Less than nothing.

First off: We just had a school reform deforming our educational system. It hasn’t taken full effect yet, so when a new idiot appears and rants about bad education and that a quarter of youths can’t read – I suspect he’s one of them.

Secondly: Schools ain’t the problem. Teachers ain’t either.
Parents are. Or rather, society is forcing the parents to become part of the problem. If we had more time for our families instead of working nine to five on five days of the week, we’d have better educational results. But instead we outsource raising our kids to so called professionals and the media.
Ain’t nothing to learn from these cretinous sources. Neither for life, nor for school.

So if you want to deform school yet again, start by reforming society, and always remember, our old systems in education gave us Freud, Einstein, Hawking, Darwin, Carlin, and a shit-zillion other geniuses. Don’t experiment with alternative crap that would make Waldorf think you’re nuts!

It stings and burns! (Elections)

Elections are nighing, and I haven’t got a clue who to cast my vote for.

It’s an election between old people and crazy people!
Sometimes both!

  • People’s party? Old folks. And if you are a company and you need a favor – ask them, because you know, people…
  • Socialist party? Old people and dim wits. They’re so social, they sold us and their souls to the EU!
  • Green party. Nutjobs. Just because they’re left wing, doesn’t mean they’re electable! Only thing keeping them a float are university students who know naught of real life.
  • Communist party? Old, old folks. Most of them are half dead, and their ideas are as outdated as the advertisings of our military “Our forces could hold back the soviet army an entire day”…good for you.
  • Freedom Party? Holy shit, someone call the asylum, a bunch of their patients broke lose and are terrorizing the country!
  • “Union for the Future”? Uhm, center to right wing, crazies and old folks.
  • Neos. NEOS! What a wonderful bunch of know-not’s and can-not’s. Their entire program is based on education, and the rest it takes to govern apparently is neglectable and should be outsourced.
  • Frank. Frank Stronach is, to put i mildly, a crazy old geezer. Just because you know economics, doesn’T mean you know people’s economics! A country isn’t a company! Stop it you lunatic old fart!

There ARE others, but not worth mentioning. Or would you like to hear about the royalists? They have one problem though – who should be the new emperor? They don’t know either, so I guess you can say – frak it.

Of course the variety of choices is nice to have, but I think it is not important whether you have to choose between two bowls of shit or eight. Shit, stays shit.

Gods help us….I trust none of these people to lead the country, and I trust none of their decisions for the future. Neither for me, let alone for my son’s future!

Old men (and women) who won’t be around when “the future” is here, ought not make decisions for the future. PERIOD!

Hail the Cook?

Never, ever, try on a Monday to find a restaurant in Groß Enzersdorf that is open.

Two were closed all together, one had closed a quarter an hour before we arrived, and the last one was an Italian “ristorante”…well, the table was sticky, the waitress was unfriendly, and the non-smokers section was so badly lit I suspect they didn’t want anyone sitting there. First thing they told us when we arrived “You can’t have anything but Pizza.” – we should have let that be a warning and leave.

Right there, right then.

Suffice it to say, we didn’t. Stupid us.

Let me put it that way: This Pizza gives me so much gas, the USA are investigating me for weapons of mass destruction!

It tasted like, well, nothing.
A simple Salami Pizza with extra garlic.
How difficult is it to get this thing to taste like SOMETHING!?

Apparently very: a hint of garlic where the patches of garlic where piled together, and between me and my wife, I was the lucky one: I had a small path of oregano strewn around in the centre of my pizza.
Except it didn’t taste as intense as I had hoped.
Or as intense as it should.

So if you’re ever in Austria, in Vienna, on a Monday and you think to yourself “I want to eat in that village just north of it, Groß Enzersdorf!” Don’t….

A.