Posts tagged ‘bad’

Who you gonna call?

Not. Me.

So the new Ghostbusters trailer finally dropped last week, after having had a trailer for the trailer (which is like an ad for an ad) and it shows us exactly what this Movie will be:
Utter crap.

Don’t get me wrong and start your feminist ramblings. I wanted to be excited about this movie, and I really didn’t give two shits about the fact they did the gender swap. Screw it, if it is written well, the all female cast is fine.
But that’s where the main problem lies. It is not written well.

It dishes out stereotypes (“sassy blackwoman”) uses unfunny comedy (“is it the wig or the hat”; did I go to the wrong trailer? Is this a scooby doo episode?), and the writing in all seems to follow the “how to write clean, politically correct, stereotypical comedy” rule book that has been floating around Hollywood for far too long.
For example, when one of them is possessed, I knew that she will get the ghost slapped out of her. Then it happens.
The ghost flies away, and here we have already established that ghosts can be seen, but I knew that she will get slapped again. Then that happens. Or when they both say “Let’s go.” and then go back and forth about it in an unfunny way.

Predictable.
Uncomfortable.
Unfunny.
Wannabe.

Again, no issue with them being women, just bad writing. Maybe a lack of chemistry.
And we get to a hint of an antagonist. “Someone is creating a device that amplifies paranormal activity…”

Fuck!
You!

If you’re looking for the best and funniest scenes in this movie, you just saw them.

If they make a sequel, I just hope it will be better written. Oh and by the way, I am seriously thinking about seeing this piece still. Why? So I can better judge it. Who knows, maybe the trailer is utter crap, and the film a hidden gem. Part of me sees this as a case of Star Wars. We all knew the prequels sucked ass, we still went to watch Episode 3.
We’ll see….take care, and keep bustin’
A.

Popsong recuts (Part I)

There is a real need out there for a youtube channel which does nothing but recuts of pop songs.

Why?
Because thez’re fraking atrocious crap.

For example, Bruno Mars’ “Lazy Song”, should be recut.

I starts with that obnoxious drum shit, then the guitar replaces that noise, and Bruno Mars yelps out “Today I don’t feel like doing anything!” then the guitar stops, and all you hear is footsteps walking away, followed by someone dropping himself on a couch or bed.
END.

He said he doesn’t feel like dpoing anything! End of story. Seven-eight seonds, that is tolerable with this banshee like noise he calls a singing voice. Instead of polluting the airwaves with a few minutes worth of death screams by a slaughtered pig.

Or that earcancer causing shit “Fairytale gone bad” by sunrise avenue. It starts with the hihat and basedrum, then the “singer” starts with “This is the End.” and the song actually ends, hard cut, mid tone. He stated it himself. “THIS IS THE END.” So friggin end it right there, a solid 4 second song.
Much less earcancer cases in the world.

Play these two song in the recut version back to back and you can bring another commercial, radiostations worldwide would love this shit. Why? Because they played TWO songs, wasted quarter a minute and can cut to the next commercial.

Win/Win.

On to the next segment…

Take care,
A.

Crappy Birthday in November

Barf!

We’re in the money, come on my honey! Let’s lend it, spend it, send it rolling around!

May next month be with you!

 

In honor of next month’s release of Episode 7 let me present this desperate cash grab. Star Wars characters as HotWheels cars.

Yes, this is a real product, I took the photo myself.

In all seriousness, I’d rather get that sweet car on the right for 1,69 Euro, than the poor adaptions of Star Wars characters as HotWheels cars, with a Han Solo on the packaging that looks nothing like Han Solo in any time period. Not even a poorly adapted CGI Han looks this far off.

It baffles me why these even exist! NOTHING in Star Wars has wheels! NOTHING! Gears, yes (the Jawas), wheels? Nope. We ASSUME R2D2 is moving on wheels, but do we see them?
NOPE!

If you have a Star Wars Fan in your (extend) circle of friends, and want to piss him/her off to no extent, here you go. Give them HotWheels cars, that are supposed to be Star Wars Characters.

Crappy Birthday,
A.