Posts tagged ‘basil’

What in the blazes?

I need to share this with you bcause if I wouldn’t, my wife would find me tomorrow with my head caved in, eyes rolled into the back of my skull, my brain, in attmept to flee these thoughts, is then dangling out of my nose, and all because of this shit!

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《 Oh the wondrous discoveries of grocery shopping. (f.l.t.r.: apricot-dumpling JUICE, applestrudle JUICE, basil seeds drink [rosepedal-cherry flavor], chia seeds drink [lime-ginger “flavor”])》

What is this stuff used for? Summoning demons in some weird vegan witch circle?
Is it used to mind control people, some weird MK Ultra?
Did they really mix/press/mush chia/basil seeds?
Why?
Does this attract aliens? Or repel sasquatsh?

Did they honestly cook apricot dumplings, throw them in a power juicer and filled the result in bottles? Same with applestrudle.
Do they want to pump this through the embalmed remains of the emperor in the hopes of raising an applestrudle-vampire? And empress Elisabeth as an apricot-dumpling banshee?
If so, why?

Can it kill Werewolves? Or make the undead accept you as one of their own? Will you be able to communicate with ghosts once you consume all four?
Does this make a cocktail that can cure the common cold? Cancer? Will it make the four (or five) horsemen appear?
Will Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses appear, holding hands wishing for peace on earth, if you pour these four liquids in one spot?

Is this catering to hipsters, or dangerously deranged lunatics who should be put on watch lists if they purchase this? What kind of deranged juicers are considering this? Is this the effect of, and not the cause for, hell opening up?

These four products are the dumbest, most brain-inflammatory, aneurysm inducing things I have seen in a regular supermarket.
Especially stuff that says ‘Superfood’ on it…

Anyhow, thank you letting me share my otherwise lethal brainspasm, induced by illegally stupid crap.

Take care,
A.

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Juice Bar.

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Happy Hangov…gnn…you….you know what, frak you!
Whoever came up with the mixture of Apple, Beetroot, Lime (another fraking Citrus, that waste of fructose, time and sunshine should be wiped off the planet together with that nauseating, headache inducing citrus stench. Taters and Apples have more Vitamins, so, NO!) and Basil should be forced to drink this, every day of the week, until kingdom come, no deviation, nothing else.
Just the Happy Hangover drink.

For the love of all that is just and true, who is this catering to?
Alcoholics?
Here’s a tip you marketing twats, alcoholics don’t get hangovers, why? Hangovers only happen to people who are foolish enough to stop drinking.

Want a happy hangover?
Mix yourself a Bloody Mary.
Or pour some Vodka into this abominable waste of fructose and dihydrogenmonoxide.
Jesus fraking Christ!

Most redundant thing in the history of beverages, even worse than the Applestrudel drink…frak…