Posts tagged ‘bunny’

Crappy Easter 4/4

Nothing says resurrection of Christ, quite like a bunny shaped pillow and a stoned plushie.
Nothing.

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Because the death and resurrection of story of this Jesus dude, would be nothing without the integral parts of drug addicted rodents that multiply faster than a virus in an unvaccinated child.
Really.
It’s there, look it up.

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Until next time,
Take care, keep shopping, and good bye.
A.

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Crappy Easter 2/4

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Don’t you love itnhow he stands there all like “Bitch always undercooks the eggs.” While she looks as if she laid them herself, colored them to resemble the Irish flag, and seems to ask herself – in a moment of self awareness – why she’s holding this crap, a bunny can’t cook irish sparrow eggs, “you little snottlet”.

So 20 euros for one of the soulsnatching, demon hatching, oirish Bunnies from hell, with an attitude.
Nope. I think not.

Easter presents…

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This easter rabbit can count the eggs hidden behind the house, sitting on the front porch.

Now take this trashbag, and haul this year’s sodded easter crap off…

Fiendish Easter I
Fiendish Easter II
Fiendish Easter III
Fiendish Easter IV
Fiendish Easter V

Yes, yes this was the index for this year’s Easter.
A.

Athena and the Easter bunny

Enjoying the early bird songs Athena sat perched on the window sill of the little boy’s room. When down in the yard a rabbit appeared.
Without deviation the rabbit hopped through the grass and disappeared into the house.
Curious Athena turned, flew over to the door and went outside, downstairs, to see what the unusual visitor was doing.
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In the livingroom, at the couch, there it was. Gently hopping along, inspecting the space betweencouch and floor.
Hooting her Hello Athena swooped down and perched on the couch just above the visitor.
“Hello.” The rabbit returned, pulling out an intricately painted egg from under its fur, gently rolling it under the couch, all the while Athena looked on in curious amazement. “What are you doing there?”
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“Hiding eggs with presents, I’m the easter bunny.” The rabbit replied, amazed at Athena’s ignorance. Still the rabbit produced another egg and rolled in her general direction.

“Happy Easter, Athena!” The rabbit smiled hopping away again, out the door.
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After a few moments the artful egg began twitching, rocking back and forth, and bounced around until its shell broke and was flung away in arches revealing a tiny hatchling snowy owl, called Lilly.
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Fiendish Easter III

BunnydoorThis door ornament is, I have to admit, cute.
At first glance.

Once you realise this cute thing is nothing but a disembodied head it turns psychotically evil. What kind of sociopath mounts a cute bunny head on their door? Isn’t this like mounting the head of a pretty supermodel on your door?
It would not be inviting.
That kind of nightmare fuel you find in creepypastas, police reports of pschotic murders or ISIS propaganda.  “Hey, it’s easter, let’s behead a rabbit and post the head as a warningwelcome on our door! Christ would be soooo proud…”

Perhaps the rabbit drew a caricature of the prophet…

Fiendish Easter II

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Now Easter has arrived in the obesity ward of Betty Ford, in the shape of these two creatures of hazard.
These two woodland critters are the three dimensional representation of something screaming “Type II diabetes!” on top of their lungs. A worthy part of the festivities celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ…

T minus 18

Where'S the bunny?Water energizing!

Take this chip, it is NOT a real computer chip or anything, place it in this carafe and your water will be more energized.

Where the hell is the energizer bunny when you need it to smash something? Water will be water, stays water, is water. WATER!
If you want energy, drink a sugar and caffeine infused energy drink.

Listen, I’m willing to believe a lot of crazy shit, but water, is water. If you want it energized, mix something into it.
Weeds.
Sugar.
Caffeine.
SOMETHING!

But only an energizing chip? A small metal plate that has a weird “mythical” pattern on it can’t energize your water!! I’m willing to believe in a talisman energizing you. But water is water, it is PERFECT as it is. Fresh, clean, vitalizing – WATER! (with no additives mind you!)

Take this ship and the carafe and shove it up into your anal cavity!