Posts tagged ‘burn’

The wheels on the bus…

The other day in the bus:

I had just picked up my son from kindergarten, the bus had stopped at a red light and bus stop, the light turned green, we moved on, however, one car in the lane next to us honked at the driver in front of them to get moving, my son turns over in the direction of the honking car and yells for the entire bus to hear: “Stop with Tutu, or I’ll set you on fire!”

What is the correct parental response to this?

A high five?

Asking him where he picked THAT up?

Turning on Rammstein – Benzin?

I don’t know whether to be a proud dad, or to be worried. I don’t even know how to feel about this. There’s a delighted joy, there’s pride, but also worry and a bit of shame. (The people on the bus heard, they laughed, but surely also judged.)

FYI, I went with laughter, imagining a high five, and then asking him where he picked it up. He claimed he taught it to himself, that he’ll take a candle and burn the car…

Take care, A.

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4. Advent 2017

Aw. The Wittwe porcewain cwoud is sweepy….

Then smash it with a hammer!
Throw it to the floor!
Burn it with acid and flame!

This thing is worse than those fucking angels religitards put everywhere, they at least believe in those things.
But this?!?! 

Go outside.
Look up.
CLOUDS!
Big clouds, small clouds, dark clouds, bright clouds, rain clouds, dust clouds, smoke clouds, natural clouds, artificial clouds (contrails), on some maps the tinfoil hat lunatics even have radiation clouds.

But nowhere you look will you have drowsy clouds with eyes!

The devastating perplexity of this things existence, this things inception, will drive the sanest person insane!

Which makes it the perfect gift for Christmas.

Crappy Crapmess.

Drive people over the edge, give them clouds. 

Good night.

Cabin of Death under repair.

“Dear tenants, please notw that from the 2nd of May until the 12th of May 2016 this elevator willbe offline, due to maintenance and repair. We are sorry for the inconvenience.”

Alright.
I am not burning down the house.
Yet.

I live on the 6th floor, or the 7th if you can’t count right (a.k.a. American), which means on a normal weekday I go down once in the morning, and ideally, up once in the afternoon. If there’s an “emergency” more often in both directions.

This time span includes a weekend, a holiday and a banking holiday. I hope that am all ten days from rhe earliest hour possible, until the latest possible, there will be men (amd women?) laboring hard to improve our technological standard and safety.
Because of not, I will become irked.
And then I will burn shit.
So I leave the house at 6am, there better be a bunch of schmucks greeting me with a smile and greasy faces ready to weld something, including the banking day, and holiday.
Or you turn the darn thing back on during the four day weekend you and your lazy jerkoffs are going to take, now are you?

I know, they will not be turning it on, and I know, they will not be working from 6am till 10pm, but at least I was able to let off some steam…

Take care, and steer clear of elevators…
A.

We’re Adults, aren’t we?

“Listening for prolonged times at high volumes, may cause ear damage!”
NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!?

My Android devices keep patronising me when I want to turn up the volume. The setting gets saved, but after a reboot, it’s back to pestering me!

We are fracking adults, I’m an adult! STOP TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD!

Your common sense dictates, you won’t cross the street without checking for traffic first. This is taught to children, we don’t need to be reminded everytime we’re about to cross a road as an adult.
It’s the same with all the rest.

There isn’t a warning on my stove telling me that touching the plates will burn me. There aren’t planes flying around on sunny days with banners “Don’t look into the sun, it may cause blindness!”

“Don’t text and drive” – this is common sense, stop reminding us.
“Coffee is hot!” – Really? I mean, REALLY???

I know that allegedly some old hag in the US sued McDonalds because she spilled hot coffee in her lap and burned herself. Instead of ruling in her favor the judge should’ve looked her in the eye and told her she can either drop the case and get away with attempted fraud, or if she doesn’t, she will get a legal guardian and put in a care facility for grown people with the mental abilities of a small child!

People who sue companies for NOT warning from obvious shit, your common sense should warn you from, they all need a guardian, and treatment in a care facility.
And to be on the safe side, for the duration of their stay, give them contraception (pill for women, stevia for men) so these cretins won’t procreate and drop babies on their heads because there wasn’t a warning…

So, again, TREAT US LIKE ADULTS! For frak’s sake…