Posts tagged ‘camera’

Life ain’t that hard: “Tell me I’m pretty!”

“Tell me I’m pretty” – You ugly ass skanks should crawl back under the boulders you came out from.

I already have talked about generation memeME here.

Self absorbed asshats who couldn’t take a picture of a sunset if they had three-thousand cameras set up for them, all pointing at the Horizon. Unless they were in the foreground and the main focus of their own picture.

Why the return to a topic that I haven’t changed my opinion on?

SELFIE-STICKS!!

Now there is a stick, with which you can put more distance between yourself and the camera, while still showing that it was YOU who took the picture.
That you are an imbecile with a tool now!
A tool with which you can be beaten.
And should be.

As always in my LATH posts, I have a solution to the problem:

Step 1, take the stick, mount your camera/cellphone/tablet/whatever and turn it ON. Choose a setting with which you can take a hundred pictures in a row.
Step 2, hold the stick firmly in both your hands, and start bashing the camera/etc. against your face. DO NOT STOP! Even if you are bleeding heavily, you only stop once you’ve fallen unconscious.
Step 3, after being released from the hospital, go home to your blood smeared stick and cam, charge it, clean it, and
Step 4, insert the stick, camera/etc. first into your anal cavity.
Go in there.
Deep.
Step 5, retrieve camera/etc. and stick, and repeat Step 2.
Step 6, you’ll wake up in a hospital. Again. You will have a nasty infection and are probably restrained. This is where you must lie now. Reflect on your life. On all the bad decisions that led you to that point. And I’m not talking about the bashing, as those were my instructions.
No.
When did what go so hofibly wrong in your life, that it led you to take dozens, sometimes hundreds of pictures of yourself PER DAY?
There are people getting hurt, injured and some even die, taking selfies.

What is next? After the Selfiestick, I mean? We’re done with the therapy now, let’s get back to the stick.
Will they make a stick that you mount your cellphone on that you can wear like a GoPro, then you hang on a rockwall and yell “Ok Google, snap picture!” and you let go of the rock to make a great picture. It is automaticall uploaded to your facebook, your vain and shallow “friends” like the shit and congratulate you.
Only to be informed by your family that hikers found your mangled dead corpse at the base of that mountain three weeks after you snapped that picture.
“Great job, Tymmi!” I just hope that in that case your selfie will be used in the obituary.

Take care and rest in pieces,
A.

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Life ain’t that hard: Selfie-sh

This selfie craze is getting out of hand.

I know that you younger folks have a disconnected feeling of self, and thus are, oddly enough, self obsessed. But walking down a street, like I witnessed with mine own eyes (!), making faces like spastic attacks, while having one arm extended with the cellphone/camera isn’t helping your selfrecognition.
It’s helping you find the fastest way to the nearest doctor. And I ain’t talking “Doctor Who” here. Long story short:

Stop taking Selfies!

You want nice pictures of yourselves? Here’s a short simple guide:
1. Take people with you!
2. Go to nice (/exotic/weird/”cool”/alloftheabove) locations
3. Take pictures of one another!
4. Don’t pose, don’t act. Just be.
5. Minimalistic brush up. (Close to no photoshop)
6. If you must, ask either a stranger, or use the timer and a stand to take a selfie, no holding of the camera/cellphone or use of mirror/trans-dimensional-portal.

Take this as advice from someone who managed to evade pictures/photos/cameras from ages 14-20…

Stuff (29.July 2013)

I have a videocamera, a digi cam, a large Music Library, a TV and Radio, an alarmclock, a stopwatch, a watch, a computer with Internet Connection, Browser, E-Mail, office applications, games and a ton of storage capacity, not to mention a phone and a messaging capability to send short text messages to other people.
IN MY POCKET!

I always find it astonishing if I think about it this way. Yeah, again I’m beating the virtual again here, but a cellphone is a pretty fraking amazing miracle!
And it shows so many pictures of my baby son. 😉

Yet, eventhough I have access to almost all of mankinds information with it, I wonder when I will be able to scan stuff with it? You know, a Tricorder like in Star Trek. “I won’t bord that Subway, oxygen levels in there are so low only lower lifeforms can survive in it!” 😀

Conspiracy of the seven!
Okay, it isn’t a real conspiracy, but I observed a fascinating obsession we as a society / species have with that prime number. Here it goes, Seven:
• Days in a Week
• Deadly Sins
• Seals
• th Haven
• Wonders of the (ancient) World
• Seasons to Star Trek TNG, DS9 and Voyager
• Summits
More if I stumble upon it. 😀

Insane?
Is it an option to return to the mental asylum?
No honestly people, I’m contemplating returning to Facebook, mostly for reasons of making this blog more widely known. But perhaps I’m just going to restart there with a brand new FB site…
Still pondering about this, no rushed decisions. 😉

Speaking of insanity, a relative is driving me into angry mode atm. So when I’m not busy with tending to Baby and Babyneeds, my wife, my dog, the apartment, work and a little bit myself (= writing), I’m in angry mode. I beg your fogriveness concerning my lack of activity here.
Aside of that I have prepared for the next few parts of the Whose World Series. (I know you folks don’t like it as much, but maybe you’ll grow to it in time, if not, I still publish it…) see the “Shape of Things to Come” page for details of the schedule.

Hopingyou are ahving a good time never the less.
A.

Picture time! (10.May 2013)

Having a smart phone – despite the downsides of being in a microwave cloud most of the day and wasting valuable resources like rare earths – has great perks!

Like having a camera everywhere at all times, just a fingertip away.

Here are some pictures and I have to say the following:

Great Job dear Museum, well done. Now I feel bad when taking medication!
infections anyone?

I live in danger town, even pigeons get their neck broken!
Fly robin fly, up up to the sky!

This is Charly, he was used by our trainer in a seminar. He said he uses this one also in management classes. Am I the only oine who had to think of “John and Peter” from “A Bit of Fry and Laurie”?
Karl, Karli, Charly, Koarl

Last but not least, the Chestnut Blossoms I wrote about yesterday, sorry for the crappy format, but it’s just a Cellphone Camera. 😉
Chestnut Blossoms

Fair day,

A.

From Zero to Hero, from Fame to Fail. (beating the virtual pt. 5)

Beforehand let me tell you, I am not belitteling the work some people had put into their “fame”.
I have told that to a fellow YouTuber who was critizing a certain YouTube celebrity for being a sell-out. The creator in question had built up a nice business, with himself as the star. It was quite some work, and as far as I know, it was quite by accident, since he wanted to do something entirely different originally.
I respect that. I respect the work and effort, I do not envy him, and by far am I not in a position to critizie him. To do that I would have to show something for myself.
And I have not much to show for.

Even if, it was the decision of these people, of that creator in question. The commenter had nothing to show for himself either.

But!

I have to say that I have seen some people rise to fame on the net through the work they did, and they did it for the love they had for their work.
Any person who loves doing what they do, whether they become famous or not, deserves my respect, and to a certain degree, my loyalty. But as soon as the love gets pushed aside for the money, or the love for money, my loyalty crumbles away.
I dislike corporate sell-outs.
Yes, it is the free market, and the decision of these people, as many of them invest quite some money into their passion, it is only legitimate that they get some in return. But being annoyed the fuck out of my skull by 30 seconds of unskippable advertising before a video is making all respect I have/had vanish.

These people rose from basement located, single webcam using, talkers to entertainers who have several cameras, expensive equipement and quite a viewer base. – same thing goes for bloggers, minus the camera and expensive equipement (unless you’re foolish enough to buy Mac).
From zero to hero!

And now they think they can torment the viewers they had worked so hard for with mediocre, sometimes outright bad, videos (posts) and a ton of advertising. There is merchandise with their logos and feces[KILL] faces all over it (Spaceballs, anyone?) and we’re supposed to buy it. Flush money down the drain.
From fame to fail.

I am writing this with the full knowledge that I will never be as famous as they are, and even if, I’m way to weary of the consequences if I sell out.
Sure, it’d be fine to see my name on a book, not as an author of ONE story in an anthology (again), but as the ONLY author. I’d give a lot for that, but I decided to publish it here. There are things I leave out of the online publications (brutality, sex, others), that I’d include in a printed version (or published where I’d get money for it). But the gist of it is here. And it’s only a little percentage I’m leaving out. (less than 1%)
I once met a gal who writes for money. And for money only, not because she loves writing, but because she can write.
Flawlessly I have to admit. It is always well structured, well developed, and all in all flawless. But it lacks one thing.
Something that I missed in all her work, something I miss in newer videos of the people I talked about above – soul.
Form without function. To twist the phrase “Never judge a book by it’s cover” I’d have to say its all cover, but no book.

Just turn your attention to Hollywood,
I’d watch a crappy B-Movie, with bad actors, bad special effects that would make the 60s SFX departments look glorious, and cheesy oneliners but a GOOD story, rather than a 3 hour CGI fuckfest, A-List actors and directors, without one.
So I have to say:
Sloppy writing but good story – I’ll read it.
Crappy videos with a shaky cam but lots of heart and soul put into it – I’ll watch it.
B-Movie but a good story – I’ll see it.
And for all of these I’d even pay money, rather than a highly develeoped product with no content.

“If you’re good something, never do it for free.” – agreed. I chose my payment to be the “Likes” here.
Can’t buy anything for it, but I’d rather be a liked, likeable, broke author/blogger, than a shiny object of “admiration” with no content and no soul in my work.

BTW: I like you folks.
The moment the first Zed Episode received the first like my heart skipped a beat, my day got better in that very instant, and my determination to continue on was cemented.
I had tried before, but it was desasterous. This was my last attempt to make it as a blogger. And you made it happen!
Even if I stick with the current 28 followers until the end of (my) time – I thank you.
All of you.
I like you.
All of you.

A.