Posts tagged ‘candle’

What is this supposed….

This Wookie egg, a contraption seemingly fashioned by Hagrid,

is actually a candle. What fucktart looked at a normal candle glass and then went “You know what this is missing? FUR!”

Who is this for? Who in their right mind is buying this shite?

I seriously hope that this is bait to put people on government watchlists odd some sort, this can’t be by/for normal people…

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The wheels on the bus…

The other day in the bus:

I had just picked up my son from kindergarten, the bus had stopped at a red light and bus stop, the light turned green, we moved on, however, one car in the lane next to us honked at the driver in front of them to get moving, my son turns over in the direction of the honking car and yells for the entire bus to hear: “Stop with Tutu, or I’ll set you on fire!”

What is the correct parental response to this?

A high five?

Asking him where he picked THAT up?

Turning on Rammstein – Benzin?

I don’t know whether to be a proud dad, or to be worried. I don’t even know how to feel about this. There’s a delighted joy, there’s pride, but also worry and a bit of shame. (The people on the bus heard, they laughed, but surely also judged.)

FYI, I went with laughter, imagining a high five, and then asking him where he picked it up. He claimed he taught it to himself, that he’ll take a candle and burn the car…

Take care, A.

Crappy Birthday in July

Imagine the “majestic” flamingo, perched on a pedestal of guano, one foot dangling to the ground. 


That wonderful hideousness can be yours to drive relatives and acquaintances over the edge for the lo lo price of 2.95€. Cheese factor is over 9000.

Crappy Birthday, A.

Crappy Birthday in January

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Christmas is finally over, but let’s stay classy!

With this wonderful plastic accessory for your cake! Or cupcake, or muffin. Or festive broccoli if you’re vegan.

It’s a chandelier for a cake (or…)!

Perfect for the truly classless classy people who don’t care for counting candles (seven), and celebrating in unstyle.
It is reusable, which is advertised on the packaging, so if you’re perpetually celebrating seventh birthday, here you go!

As always,
Crappy Birthday,
A.

Crappy Birthday in October

Since it is the month of horror,
still your soul’s tormenting terror,
with a quadruple candle,
that has a nifty handle,
take its comforting glow,
wherever you dare go.

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Crappy Birthday, and crappy Halloween!