Posts tagged ‘Cat’

Life ain’t that hard, Social Media

If you’re a lowlife cretin who should be bludgeoned to death with a balloon animal for the following, or parts of it:

-Posting quarter hourly updates on yourself, or
-Reposting loud images (with often incorrect shite in them) from all over the place,
-Interspersed with invites to some shitty games that no one cares for and everyone wants to cut your hands off for playing
-Liking a crapzillion of pages, and thus spreading their filth
-Logging in at every corner you visit

then fret not, for it is simple, thou shalt follow these basic decency & behavior commandments for social media:

1. Logeth in and checketh out.
This means, read other people’s posts first, before boldy blaring out your status, which no one really cares for. 

2. Thou may engage in reactions.
If you want to, you can react to someone else’s post(s). That is the social part of social media. You are not the star, just another schmuck, those are not your fans, but, supposedly, your friends. Interact, mingle, comment.

3. Thou mayeth post.
Post one, maybe two, status updates per day. TOPS! Only in emergency situations (f.e. toppling an oppressive government) is it okay to forgo this limit.

4. Thou shalt not RePost!
Just, don’t. Unless it is really important (really occuring revolutions, missing people, rabid bears or pedophiles, etc.)

5. Enough pictures.
Enough babies, enough cats, enough boobs and asses. Go to a special interest group/site if you want to see or share this, but the general public doesn’t care for any of that.

6. Moar of ye olde Pictures!
If you’re too young to remember boring slideshows of other people’s holidays, ask your parents, or grandparents how frigging boring that was. Want to share your holiday experience? One to Five pictures which highlight the best of it, will do, if someone is genuinely interested in more, they’ll ask. (Ahahahaha!!!)

7. Enough with the liketh!
Not everything you encounter in life needs a like online!
Bands, artists, celebrities, etc. Yes.
Brands, products, politicians, websites, etc. No!

8. Playeth with thineself.
No one cares for your geese or your jewels or your candy – if anything we’d like to see you buried under a mountain of that stuff. Keep it to yourself!

9. Logeth out.
Yes, the dreaded end of one’s participation in social idiocy.
Listen, don’t stay online for hours and hours more, having the media site track your every movement out there. Don’t be the intelectually malnutritioned fool, that is taking all their knowledge from the lopsided soup that is your prefered newsfeed. Controversy, disagreeing opinions those are NURTURING the mind, sharpening it. LOG OUT!

And the grand finale!
10. Thou shalt not reveal thine location!
Stop giving away your location! Just, no! We don’t care where you are, nor should you care where the others are. If they’re near you, but won’t see you, guess what? They don’t like you! Stop checking in from the pub at the corner of my block. Get lost creep.

It is a little extensive, so here’s the print out version:

1. Logeth in and checketh out.
2. Thou may engage in reactions.
3. Thou mayeth postonce or twice daily.
4. Thous shalt not RePost!
5. Enough pictures
6. Moar of ye olde Pictures!
7. Enough with the liketh!
8. Playeth with thineself.
9. Logeth out.
10. Thou shalt not reveal thine location!

Glue it next to your screen, make it your phone’s lock screen – what ever it takes for you to stop this crap!

Get your silly acts together, stop making social media asocial places, that are more a sewer than a place of interaction.

As always, take care,

My Life Tue 7th Aug. 2012

Loki is dead, long live Loki.


I got him and his sister when they were three month old kittens. At first this little shy ball of fur was suspicios of me.

One night, about three days after they came to live with me, I was listening to “Music Of The Night” from the Phantom of the Opera musical. Suddenly he came to me and cuddled. I took him in my hand and caressed the little fellow, kissed his nose and his head between the ears.

I was rewarded with purrs, and so much trust that he fell asleep in my hand.

From that day on, when ever I played or sung that song, he came cuddling.

Yesterday when he was sedated I played that song for him, stroking his back, kissing his head between the ears and trying to be strong for my 8 kilogramm kitty that he was. According to my wife and the Vet it was obvious that he recognized the song, as he became much softer when it started playing.

Around the time when he was 2 years old I had a dream involving his death. I was as heartbroken in that dream, as I am now. But I proceeded in the dream to feed his sister, when all of a sudden he returned. Undead, dirty, stinking, but it was him. In all his kind, but strong and always hungry nature.


Undead cat dream.

I do not believe in it literally, but I sense his presence. The same way I sense my grandpa’s presence. An hour to an hour and a half after he died, a storm hit. With awesome clouds scattered across the sky.

I saw two shooting stars too last night.

Loki is dead, long live Loki!

Mr. Loki

Mr. Loki

Now, gramps, if somehow you on the astral plain read my blog, take care of him. He is special.