Posts tagged ‘christmas’

Long live the king!

This is the tale of how evil was vanquished by darkness…

There once was a King who ruled with a fist of ice.

The ice king.

Until one day the black knight triumphed over the foul sorcerer, and slay him.

The king is dead, long live the king. There can be only one true king!

And so, the black knight saved the land.

Take care…

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4. Advent 2017

Aw. The Wittwe porcewain cwoud is sweepy….

Then smash it with a hammer!
Throw it to the floor!
Burn it with acid and flame!

This thing is worse than those fucking angels religitards put everywhere, they at least believe in those things.
But this?!?! 

Go outside.
Look up.
CLOUDS!
Big clouds, small clouds, dark clouds, bright clouds, rain clouds, dust clouds, smoke clouds, natural clouds, artificial clouds (contrails), on some maps the tinfoil hat lunatics even have radiation clouds.

But nowhere you look will you have drowsy clouds with eyes!

The devastating perplexity of this things existence, this things inception, will drive the sanest person insane!

Which makes it the perfect gift for Christmas.

Crappy Crapmess.

Drive people over the edge, give them clouds. 

Good night.

Headspace

By now I am certain that most, if not all, of you have heard of pay to win games. You know, games where you have to pay in order to win, or progress faster than the non-paying fair-playing troglodites?

Sure you have.

Now there’s a similar app for the mordern hippies out there, called headspace. The basic version which teaches you how to meditate is free, but additional courses/techniques/etc. will cost you.
Pay-to-ascend, essentially.

Listen here, snowflakes, if you need an app to teach you how to meditate, you’re doing it wrong.

• For starters, there are more ways to meditate listed on the internet for free, than there are ways to blow your money in the app store! 

• Secondly, meditation isn’t something you can strap the prefix ‘speed’ in front of and still run with it. 

Meditation requires a certain calmness, an introspection, shutting out the disturbances – both from within and from outside. 

This isn’t something you can squeeze in, between two meetings and calm yourself, gain focus and ‘mindfulness’ (what ever that gobshite is supposed to mean).
Meditation requires time, quiet and peace.
Not the presence of a disturbing gizmo that is telling you how to do it, like smartphone. 

The principle of this is neat, but once you start to consider it – this isn’t the product of love, this isn’t the tireless labour of a man-turned-one-with-himself. This is a materialistic piece of shit made by greedy fucks. 

If this person (someone whose name sounds like someone tried to come up with a jokename by combining pudding and combe) truly wanted to spread the word to the masses about how to reach enlightenement, how to become more peaceful and create ‘mindfulness’ – he would’ve given it all away for free. Like all the other schmucks on the internet. 

People who use this app are probably the same kind of disturbing cretins who wear sandals with socks, have dreadlocks while being whiter than sourcream, and smoke pot like kids eat candy. Despite the claim that it was created to reach business men. Men who would squeeze this shit in between two meetings to flee the stess, making their schedule busier instead of relaxing a bit. 

BTW: Emma Watson endorsed this shit. You, Ma’am, have lost some of my respect. If you think it is genius to teach people how to meditate – USE GOOGLE! It comes preinstalled on EVERY smartphone, just open the browser type in google[dot]com and go for it. Countless, innumerable sites will teach you. Blogs, sites, groups, videos, made by individuals, collectives, and what not else. 

How did I come to this piece of shite? 

Kindergarten. 

Our kindergarten is fairly moderate with madness, unlike others. There was the waterbottle incident sure, but other than that, peace. 

Until now. 

Not just that we have one of the parents who greets people in e-mails, NOT with “good morning” “G’day mates” or anything like the ordinary. NO. He starts his Mails with “SUN dear parents!”

Also, Christmas collection went around to give gifts to the teachers and assitants. Coupons here, coupons there, amazon, retailers, supermarkets. 

Fine. No problem. 

Until we came upon the decsion to make whether to get amazon coupons, or headspace coupons.

Which made us look into this stuff. 

Guess what the SUN dude would prefer to give away.

Take care,
A.

1. Advent 2017


Collectable Puppet “Toni”.

Frighten the ever loving shit out of every person that sets eyes on this. Be it gift receiver, or just plain old visitor, this is sure to let everyone know that they’re dealing with a heart- and soulless vicious devourer of life, love, hopes, and dreams. 
Any person unwrapping this will make the unmistakably tormented face of a person faking joy, when they’d rather had gotten socks.

Merry Crapmas!

Oh dear me…

…I have forgotten to prepare a Friday post. 

Mea culpa. 

Updates: Scrapped portions of Shadows. Going to rewrite that scrapped stuff. One day. Currently writing a new series. Fantasy again. Originally I had wanted to go to space again. But the new sci-fi series has to wait and ripen in my mind. (Too many ideas that need to be incorporated into a single universe, which currently are somewhat incompatible.)

Going to go back to comedy next week. I hope…

Bad news for Christmas. I haven’t got enough for a calendar this year. There’s plenty of stuff out there, mind you, but I haven’t got the time to find it all and write about it. Instead I will do the four Advent Sundays. 

Take care, A.

Writing…

(For lack of a better title)


As you may or may not be aware, I am at odds with my inner demons.
Constantly.
But, I have come here with this picture to let you all know, that I am working on stories. I’m writing, okay?

Won’t win me any awards, but I am out here slaving away for you guys.

It saddens me to say, that I probably won’t be able to make a full-fledged Christmas Calendar this year. If that turns out to be the case, there’ll be five Christmas posts. One per week leading up to the big date, and one for X-Mas itself.

You’ll see when the time comes.

Until such time, I’ll be over here writing, you’ll be able to read my stuff, and hopefully I’ll be able to spam you with Friday stuff.

In case anyone wondered what happened to Whose World – I scrapped it. (Because it’s garbage) If and when I’ll bring it back (all new stuff), I’ll let you know.

Take care, A.

Christmas Calendar 2016

Hope you had a great time.

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