Posts tagged ‘cloud’

Vaping

Imagine you’re walking a street – any innocuous urban street – and about two meters in front of you walk two guys.
In the olden times they’re regular old smokers. They smoke as they walk. You would’ve gotten a whiff of their smoke and to a degree you could even tell the brand. At least whether they’re smoking cheap or expensive tobacco.
These days, they vape. As they walk. You get a cloud of scented shit in your face. The artificial chemical approximation of ‘apple’, or ‘vanilla’, or something else that it doesn’t smell like.
We get it.
You vape.
It’s hip these days. But here’s a suggestion to all you vapers out there: grow a lung and either smoke like everyone else, or don’t smoke like everyone else.
But this steam bullshit ain’t going to cut it.
Research showed it is just as chock full of poison as traditional smoking, and you look like a colossal dipshit doing it.
The clouds you leave behind smell like a unicorn fucked a potpourri turned into vapor.
Seriously.
Stop.
This is vegan sausage all over again.
Either you want to be a vegan, OR you eat sausage. Either you smoke, OR you don’t.
Decide. But don’t try to dance on both weddings at the same time, ruining the fun for everyone.
Take care,
A.

4. Advent 2017

Aw. The Wittwe porcewain cwoud is sweepy….

Then smash it with a hammer!
Throw it to the floor!
Burn it with acid and flame!

This thing is worse than those fucking angels religitards put everywhere, they at least believe in those things.
But this?!?! 

Go outside.
Look up.
CLOUDS!
Big clouds, small clouds, dark clouds, bright clouds, rain clouds, dust clouds, smoke clouds, natural clouds, artificial clouds (contrails), on some maps the tinfoil hat lunatics even have radiation clouds.

But nowhere you look will you have drowsy clouds with eyes!

The devastating perplexity of this things existence, this things inception, will drive the sanest person insane!

Which makes it the perfect gift for Christmas.

Crappy Crapmess.

Drive people over the edge, give them clouds. 

Good night.

Season of death

Others find spring romantic.
Everything awakens from their wintery slumber, blossoms open, life seemingly begins anew. It’s the season to fall in love in, the season for wedding vows, for having children, for outdoor activities, for outdoor sports. The season for life!

I, however, think that spring is the season of death.
Not just because my grandparents died shortly before and during spring respectively, but because of those opening blossoms.

Worse than the radioactive deathcloud from Chernobyl had hit us, this hits home every year.

Pollen.
Clouds and clouds of pollen.

I wake up in the morning with a sore throat and clogged nose, every breath hurts as if I had smoked two packs of cigarettes last night, minus the smell. And my eyes water and itch as if some jokster had strewn sand into them.

Outdoor activities?
Yes please, but only when it rains, or shortly thereafter.
Romantic?
In a morbid way, sure.
The same way some people think venomous snakes are romantic (or pretty), I think of beautiful springtime flowers/blossoms.

It never fails to alarm me, reminding me of my own mortality, when I wake up to an annoying cough, my eyes already a ground zero of itching and burning.
Seriously, frack spring.

PS: Despite this obvious attempt at manslaughter by mother nature, I still do my work out. It involves a lot more panting and gasping for air, but I do it anyway…