Posts tagged ‘crazy’

Nuthouse

Not quite yet, but close to it.

Taking a break from my usual posts, another one with just a picture and some text excusing my state of mind…

Cheers.

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Life ain’t that hard, Chemtrails (beating the hippies)

Listen you dipshit Hippy scum.

If there WAS an evil ploy to reduce the ever growing number of people on this heating ball of dung, or reduce them to drooling halfwits, there’d be easier ways to do so: Feeding laxatives to city pigeons, decaffeinating ALL the coffee on the face of the earth, lacing the watersupply with Meth, removing the warning labels from ALL the things thus letting the problem solve itself, feeding plants to livestock that are harmless to them but will kill us if we eat them or their milk.

You get the picture.

But NO diabolic, Doomlord would make his (or her) sinister attempts at poisoning/controlling the docile population THIS obvious.

Don’t start on the whole “hiding it in plain sight” argument, it’s moot from the get go. You lobotomised halfpeople rave on and on like rabid baboons about evil chemtrails. They’d be found out if it was true.

The additional fact that in a closed ecosystem like earth you can’t spread chemicals just on ONE place moots the entire project further. all those people involved would poison themselves. Their friends, relatives too.

Pathetic.

Now. find a new boogieman to be frightened of, a new tree to bark up. But stop this no brainer of a still-born idea that chemtrails are a thing.

Take care you sods.

A.

Running on empty

Saw a meme floating around the other day.

“My mind is like a browser window. There’s 14 Tabs open, 4 of which froze, somewhere there’s porn and I have no clue where that annoying music comes from.”

That’d be me. Once you increase the number of tabs, by at least a factor of 10.

Hence my dear friends, the usual Friday post has failed.

Next Week.

I promise.

In the meantime, another summer holiday pic.

img_1807

Take care,
A.

Battling pt.1

(Wish I could sit there right now…)​
As I am battling with severe depression and all it’s crippling consequences, I find myself unable to uphold a vigorous schedule.

So my (depression driven) humour, my spite and bile for the idiocy of the world, will have to pause.
On occasion.
If I can’t finish a Friday post on time that is.

Just to let you folks know in advance, I am not certain if the advent calendar will be finished this year. If I am unable to come up with 24-25 (plus one for NYE) items, there will be a ‘five specials’ programme instead:
Celebrating the last four weeks before Christmas, plus Christmas.
Regardless! There will be no new RoF in December, or January! (Details well follow)

Until such time. Feel free to help a crazy person out of a dark place, by dropping a like, or a comment, from time to time. Ain’t got nothing against freeloaders, but some gratitude would be fine, at least from time to time.

Take care,
A.

Beating the Hippies, Beast of the Number

Yeah, this is about the “number magic” some of these New Age Witchpeople…uhm… “practice”.

To give you an impression of how much shit they’ve got on their shelves:

They write down a series of numbers (f.e.: 16, 22, 13, 5, 78) called a code, on a piece of paper, put a jug of perfectly fine, clean, drinkable tap water on it and wait.
For what?
For the “code” to work, to purify the water, or energise it, or something.

After a few minutes the jug’s content is ready to be drunk, and the paper with the code, is now to be thrown away (or ritualistically burned).
Whether that code would scare- or whisk away any real threats, like e.coli, out of murky water, I don’t know.
These snivelling shits only suffer from “upper middle class, first world problems”.
How do I know?
Easy, other fields of work for this malpractice of paper wasting and number abuse is, (amongst infinitely more) Chemtrail busting.
Hence their codes never were field tested with e.coli ridden waters!

“And it really, REALLY works!!!!111onetyone”
-Hippie

No.
No it doesn’t Moonraybutterfly. Numbers don’t filter or cleanse water. Otherwise we wouldn’t need “bigSewage” with their treatment plants…

Look, people, like your problems, your solutions are made up.
I already have explained arbitrary dates, that don’t phaze the universe and grander powers (if existent) at play, and now I have to go at this?

Okay! Here we go again!

Numbers, or codes as you call it, are about as magical, as turds floating on rivers of piss. Translate the base10 numbers you’re using into – lets say, hexadecimal – you’re screwed.

Let’s play with the most known magical number – 666

Roman numeral system: DCLXVI
Hexadecimal system: 29A
Binary: 1010011010

Not so menacing anymore, is it?

You do this with all your stupid “magic” “holy” or “unholy” numbers and your hokuspokus flies apart at the speed of light.
Numbers don’t cleanse your water, they do not disolve contrails, they don’t empower you pecker, don’t unblock your colon and won’t help you in any way shape or form. (Except the right ones on a lottery ticket)

Don’t any of you mathematical imbeciles dare say “But numbers are universal!!!! Foar the entire Universe!!!!11”
They’re not. (Pi is, I grant you that)
Our numbering system is based on 10 due to our 10 fingers. Imagine Aliens with twelve fingers.
Like Hexadecimal, after 10 comes 1A, and 1B, before you switch over to 11! 
Numbers are arbitrary. Sure, there is a definitive mass to a standard Hydrogen atom, but whether you call it 1H as a base for a new unit, or base that mass as a (n arbitrarily numbered) fraction of something (arbitrary) else (grams? ounces? mol?) is all riding the randomly chosen number roller coaster again.

So no. Numbers are not universal.
Numbers are not magical.
There are no “codes”. At least no magical ones.

Take care,
A.

PS: If above example code yields proven results, I demand credit and royalties ;þ

PPS: If you are now trying that code for various shit my code already worked…it lured in gullible twits.

Patience

Truly is a virtue. A virtue that I am not in possession of.

I have gotten over the aneurysm inducing first parent-teacher conference, and I must say, I marvel at the patience of the Kindergarten teachers, and the braindamage indicating stupidity of the parents.
All of which seem like either left-over Yuppies (Ouppies?) or Alternative-Antivaxxer-Hippies.
Or both.

KGT (Kindergardenteacher): “For the strictly voluntary, weekly Out-Of-The-House-Day supply your kid with a backpack, raincoat, they should wear trousers, don’t pack lunches, and supply a reusable waterbottle, we fill the bottles with the children here.”
Parent1: “The bottle should be empty?”
KGT: “Yes.”
Parent2: “Can we fill them at home?”
KGT: “No. We fill them with the kids, here.”
Parent3: “So, the bottle is supposed to be empty?”

I wonder how these people have made it through the daily gauntlets of life so far.

If I would’ve held that conference I would’ve told them the first sentence. When the first parent asks I would’ve let out a sigh of frustration and stared blankly into the audience: “Listen up. I will say this only once again: Bring an empty bottle that your kid is going to fill up with water. Here. With us. You do not fill it yourselves, we and the kids do. If any of you are dimwitted enough to be confused by this simple task, LEAVE! Leave now, your kids will be taken into custody of the state, your drivers licence will be revoked, and you won’t be permitted to vote, anymore! In fact, you will be given a legal guardian yourself!”

Explaining basic simple crap to toddlers is something that needs to be done.
They’re learning. That is something I can do. Their attention span is about 5 seconds (unless they are supposed not to pay attention to something, then it can’t be deterred).
But their parents get zero tolerance.
These people have had kids, they need to raise these kids. They are holding jobs.
They have a permit to navigate a vehicle of several tons, loaded with said children and several liters of a highly flammable liquid, through populated areas.
They are allowed to vote! Thus, not only ruining the futures of small groups of people, but large groups of people.

And this can’t be tolerated! They need to be as much raised/trained as their kids, the KGT shouldn’t let that shit slip.

So.
After my first almost-breakdown, we went on further down shit road. 

Still on the subject of the voluntary, weekly Out-Of-The-House-Day:
KGT: “We ask the children whether they want to go out and if they don’t want to, they stay inside.”
Parent4 (FRONTROW SEATED!): “Well I was under the impression that my child’s backpack was hardly if ever used last year. Why’s that?”
KGT: ….
In my head: “Did you binge drink before you got here, passed out and didn’t hear jackshit about the entire voluntary part, only waking up due to the ruckus over the bottle? Did you take LSD and fazed out? Don’t ask about the bottle, I dare you! Maybe your little snowflake did not want to go out that much?”

If they were to hold a simple test AFTER the meeting, to see what the parents retained OF the meeting, the results would be catastrophic. Further cementing my idea that such test should be required to vote in election.

Sheetcreek river tours ain’t over yet!

KGT: “By rules and regulations, as well as the law, we are prohibited from administrating any medication on your children. That includes cremes if your child has diaper sore, or homeopathic globuli.”
In my head: “Wahahahahaha, good, my kid shouldn’t eat too much candy anyways!”
KGT: “We can’t even use disinfectants.”
Parent5: “Blood does disinfect anyways.”

What??? Wait! WHAT??? Then why on earth are we doing all this disinfection shit then? Why are there sterile OR tools? This parent solved all of our problems! Doctors, throw away those gloves, ditch that soap amd get to work asap, blood disinfects!

Back on track.
Parent6: “Why don’t you use Octenisept? It has hardly any sideffects, it doesn’t even burn!”
In my head: “Seriously, what kind of drug abuse are you folks partaking in to get to the point of blacking out every five minutes and missing vital shit like PROHIBITED BY LAW? Did you get ANY of that?

KGT: “No. We can’t. Dirt is washed out by the blood flow if it’s a scratch, if the child is bleeding more heavily than a band aid could contain, mwe are calling either you, or an ambulance anyways.
Parent7: “What if the child is bleading too heavy for a band aid?”

I am dead serious, what drugs were you people doing before coming in? And why did I miss the stand where they gave out the free acid or whatever?
I’d rather watch the coffeemachine turn into a dragon guarding my fridge, than go through that shit ever again!

After that the aneurysm inducing parents with the braindamage apparently gave up and kept their mouths shut.

In conclusion I must say, yes, I’d have the patience to deal with a bunch of toddlers, but I lack the tolerance, and the will to deal with a bunch of adults, which are supposedly sane.
My deepes respect to teachers worldwide, kindergarten or otherwise.

Take care,
A

PS: Next parent-teacher conference, I am going to get piss drunk beforehand.

Two wheeled menace

I have had it with these crazy bicycles!

If Cyclists – and all you environmentally conscious people out there – want (them) to be taken as serious members of traffic we need to change a few things.

1.: Mandatory Driving License – as any motorist needs one, as any one on public transport needs a bus pass, these morons need one too. So they at least once have heard of traffic laws. No driving license, no bike.
2.: Mandatory helmet – if one is caught without one, the same “punishment” a car driver gets when driving wihtout a seatbelt. Period. Three strikes and the bike is pounded.
3.: Mandatory License Plates – Seriously. If these creeps mow down old hags and little kids, at least we can identify the vehicle that did it! And in most cases the owner of said bike will be the culprit. Fulfledged members of traffic need a license plate! But we can make these free in opposition to those on cars and motorbikes. Bike doesn’t have a license plate and is on the street – pounded.
4.: No more exceptions! – If I see one more “One Way” sign with the amendment “Except bicycles” I’ll plaster that with dogshit! And…
5.: …no more driving on the sidewalks! You wanted to be a full member of traffic, you use the road! Period! Violators should be givin a one month driving ban (including cars!), and the bike is confiscated for the duration of that time.
6.: No phoning, texting, riding it hands-free or drunk/DUI. Self explanatory I guess. Impoundment when violated.
7.: Mandatory service checks! Just as any car has to be checked if it is still road safe, the bikes need the same treatment. If it isn’t fit anymore, it needs to be either mended or discarded.
8.: Kids on bikes – No. Just no. Kids under the age of 12 can ride it in the company of their parents (or other guardian) on the road, or on designated bike lanes. Older, and they can have the driving license for the bike, and go out alone. But no more letting kids go out and play on their bike. These kids are more often than not monsters on two wheels and are a menace to others and themselves. (I was one once, trust me!) NO!

I am all for saving the environment.
Especially from CO2 emissions. But I’m also a huge fan of safety! But I can’t step outside my office without being run over by a crazy cyclist on the friggin sidewalk. I know not all of you un-motorised two wheeled folks out there are crazy lunatics that should only be allowed to drive in a padded underground tunnel where no one can get harmed. In fact, most of you are not.

But this is a safety measure that needs to be taken, a car or motorcycle needs a license plate, a “skilled” driver (yeah I know, but in theory they received training), checks and rules where driving it is allowed.

Bicycles need that too. It is crucial for road safety.
I have more ideas for road safety, but most of those are the insane ravings of a lunatic. Like: mandatory Dashcams for new cars, subsidies for installing such a system in your current car, so you can send footage of traffic violations (or other violations) to the police, since they can’t be everywhere. (In an insane plottwist, if the Police are the culprits, you too have the civic liberty/duty to document these incidents)
Or huge-ass subsidies for electric cars. Give people an insentive to buy one, and install waaaaay more charging stations throughout urban areas.
As I’ve said.
Maniacal ravings of a crazy man.

While I’m on the subject of bikes.

Stop it with the E-Bikes. They have the same speed a normal bike has, so it ain’t an electric motorbike. It’s crap for pseudo intellectual, environmentally stupid folk to jerk off their conscience concerning fitness and environment.
It’s crap. So stop it!

Take care, and drive safely,
A.