Posts tagged ‘cretin’

Random Rant 11.Dec 2014

In advance dear readers, I have to apologise for any harsh language in this post. I’m angry.
Sorry.

Well, I got a call from my wife.

We seem to have forgotten to pay the Dog-Tax on time, and they had sent us one of their minions to collect the tax.

Listen here you numbskulls, you send a letter with an invoice, we forget to pay.
Okay.
That’s bad behaviour on our part, but after that, you send another letter. That’s how everything in this world runs.
It’s called “a reminder”. Usually added with a late fee. Begrudingly I’d even pay that, since we are at fault here.

But you don’t show up with one your cretins on our doorstep! And let us fill out a form whether the dog owner (my wife) is married (a simple check in your database could solve that question without annoying us/her), whether we have a car (again, look up the databases at your disposal. Is there a car registered under the name? Yes? Woooow!!!! Shall I make a LATH post for you?) who pays the rent (why on earth would that concern you? It ain’t your business who is paying the rent!!!) and so on.
Just be glad I wasn’t home during the time of this questioning. I would’Ve given you these exact answers.
“Are you married?” – None of your business. Look it up.
“Do you have a car?” – None of your business. Look it up.
“Who is paying the rent?” – Absolutetly none of your business. Draw a Venn Diagramm of people likely to pay the rent and play the odds.

I despise the ground these tax/fee collecting misfits cast their shadows upon, and I hope a meteor incinerates the ground they walk on.

The real issue I have with the Dog-Tax is not that we have to pay it, but that they demand 82(!!!!) Euro, and STILL they force you to pick up dog poop.
NO!
With that amount of money I’m throwing into the dumpster here I demand you bowlmovements pick up the dog poop yourself. Remember some many decades ago? You justified the taxation of dogs with “we have to pay people who pick up the dog poop”. Good, now pick it up.

82 Euro a year, I expect people in fine suits come and pick it up, not the usual grimey workers, no, suit and tie wearing thieves who otherwise would only gather dust behind a desk and waste organs and oxygen.
Go and pick up dog poop you anal-orifices!

Again, I must ask for your forgiveness dear readers.
I just had to vent this…

A.

Amok egoism…

… I may not be Mr. Considerate myself, but I have gotten a reasonable amount of social competence from my mother, enough as to not being a tital prick.

Why am I writing this? At the time I write these lines, I was standing in a train, happily typing away on part four of act 3 of “Whose World” when the egoism around me, runs me over! First there is this little shit that stood just right in front of the door of the train, people were not able to exit it faster because of him. Just so Shitty McShitpants could get a seat.
Good work asshole!

Then the douchebag “I am important, Motherfucker” shows up and hangs his bag (a travelbag) on the handrail of the cab, so the starway is half blocked. I wished someone had tripped over it and sued that sunshaded prick for damages.
Asshat.

Idiot leaves with his bag, cue intro Twatty O’Twat, also known as the Onioncunt!
It should be prohibited under highprized penalties to enter any public transport with smelly food! Like in this case Onion Pizza. Happily munching away ger pseudo Italian cuisine she positioned her cart like bag – guess where – right, IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING STAIRS!! Later it fell over blocking all of it!

Which reminds me: no cart bags! You aren’t going on a trip? You aren’t shopping? Forget the wheeled bag!
Get a backpack, pack light or heavy, go.
Get a bag, pack light, go.
Get a cart, you better be shopping!

You know how irked I gotta be to stop writing?
Very.

Now if the selfcentered egomaniacs continue to show up in the bus, I’m going to turn violent… (how can people wonder why some people actually go on killingsprees?)

A.

Mating like a bear…

today I’ll be brief.

In yesterdays newspaper there were two things that drew my attention. The cover was the Pandabears in Vienna mating. Sure they are chinese loans, and any offspring has to be returned to China, but I consider them ours.
Why? Because unlike the Chinese we have had two baby bears by these two. Pandabears in China have to be shown Pandaporn or artificially inseminated for them to have babies.
Ours do it.
Like rabbits.

That image on the frontpage of the newspaper however irked some people. Why? I don’t know. Male panda humping female Panda, no motion, just stills (like in any Muggle Newspaper ^-^) so I don’t get it.
We’re not conservative Republicans who shit their pants everytime something remotely sexual comes to the general attention. It could be a hug (from behind) 😉

What irked me however is the tiny article they wrote about the two mating, again. “Rare occurance in the Panda cage.”
Rare?RARE?

These two have a baby Panda every now and then! They made one, two years alter it got taken away to China, they made another, that one got shipped to China last year, so guess what these two are doing? CORRECT – another Babybear! They can’t be together while the Baby is here, so of course every spring they are allowed to be together, they mate.
They did it already twice before, so what on earth are these cretins calling “rare”?

For the Viennese Pandas it’d be rare if they don’t f*ck!!

Hope you are as amused about the newspaper cretins as I am.