Posts tagged ‘diabetes’

Fiendish Easter II

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Now Easter has arrived in the obesity ward of Betty Ford, in the shape of these two creatures of hazard.
These two woodland critters are the three dimensional representation of something screaming “Type II diabetes!” on top of their lungs. A worthy part of the festivities celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ…

Drink your cancer!

I’m getting quite agitated at a commercial from Coca Cola here in the german language realm.

A dude gets a Coke bottle from his half naked girlfriend, who had previously put a regular coke label over the coke zero label. He drinks and she reveals her scheme! And then she transforms into a (german) soccerplayer, and they party at the locker room of the team after winning, and suddenly he’s back home, the dude is a scantly dressed gal again and lying on bed.

First off: If you can’t taste the difference between diabetes-sirup and the cancer-soup – you’re an idiot. Coke zero and coke light taste like shit. There’s a bitter aftertaste to both of them, coating the uvula like a CIA hitman strangles his victim with piano string, instantly giving me a gag reflex.
Secondly: why are people still lapping that shit up? Certain ingredients in it are known to cause cancer, and unlike other deadly substances it isn’t addictive! (Just to make your “Cigarettes cause cancer, people still smoke!” argument invalid. Plus: Did you see any cigarette advertisments in european TV adverts lately? Didn’t think so…)Thirdly: If my scantly dressed GF (or wife?) turns into an a dude before my eyes, and back again, I wouldn’t wanna touch her, ever again.

So all in all, I personally consider the advert a complete failure:
Idiot doesn’t taste the difference between Zero and regular. FAIL!
Cancer ingredients. FAIL!
Transmutating woman-man. FAIL!

But there is also good news concerning cancer-soup: Those who do consume it, are thin. And you can squeeze enough of them into an elevator to meet the criteria…and the makers of size zero clothes are happy too, finally they have customers.

Recently some Schmuck was all happy over the new Stevia Coke. Just to make it clear people, Stevia is the answer if you asked how to use birth control on men. It temporarily neuters men!
So your choices boil down to Diabetes-sirup, Cancer-soup and Newt-soda.
Shut up, and lap your shit up…