Posts tagged ‘drink’

Cooking pro-tips III

Real men drink responsibly, just one vessel per day…

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Life ain’t that hard, drinking!

No, not that kind of drinking.
The one that doesn’t involve alcohol.

If you’re like me, then the suggested, supposedly “healthy”, dose of at least 2 liters of water per day is an unbearble summer reading assignment, equal to having to read war and peace over the weekend and write a paper on it.

Look, life ain’t that hard, in order to keep “hydrated” and healthy, just follow this simple guideline:
1. Nature blessed us with a sense that alerts us if we need to drink: THIRST! If you’re thirsty, drink. If not, don’t pump more stuff in. If that results in 0.5 liters a day, that’s fine, your body seems to not need any more.
2. The urban legend of coffee (or caffeinated drink) dehydrating the body keeps getting passed around like a nasty STD. Were it to be true, I would look like a desert mummy from the Andes! I don’t. I’m healthy and alive. So keep drinking it, even to quench your thirst.
3. Once your piss starts to be colourless, stop drinking so much. You’re not a fountain.

There. A concise list on how to drink healthily.

If by any chance you give in to the pressure and give this shit of drinking at least 2 litres of non-alcoholic and non-caffeinated stuff a try, and then someone asks you, after a week, whether you feel any better – piss on them.
That’s the only feeling that I have, since starting this trial run: the urge to pee every fifteen minutes.

Take care,
A.

Juice Bar.

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Happy Hangov…gnn…you….you know what, frak you!
Whoever came up with the mixture of Apple, Beetroot, Lime (another fraking Citrus, that waste of fructose, time and sunshine should be wiped off the planet together with that nauseating, headache inducing citrus stench. Taters and Apples have more Vitamins, so, NO!) and Basil should be forced to drink this, every day of the week, until kingdom come, no deviation, nothing else.
Just the Happy Hangover drink.

For the love of all that is just and true, who is this catering to?
Alcoholics?
Here’s a tip you marketing twats, alcoholics don’t get hangovers, why? Hangovers only happen to people who are foolish enough to stop drinking.

Want a happy hangover?
Mix yourself a Bloody Mary.
Or pour some Vodka into this abominable waste of fructose and dihydrogenmonoxide.
Jesus fraking Christ!

Most redundant thing in the history of beverages, even worse than the Applestrudel drink…frak…

Water (again)

Right now, we living in the EU, mostly enjoy clena water that is coming out of the tap. Some areas are less lucky, but hey. The EU is working on it.

Or are they?

I might sound paranoid, and might have to join forces with the hippies I so detest, but I fear that luxury is soon to come to an end. The TTIP agreement might frak us all in the rear with our clean water. Why? Well, look at the US for a warning example.

Communities had water coming to them, they had to clean it (with tax dollars) and then put it in the pipes. You could drink water directly from the tap. Good.
Then those services were shut down gradually. To save spening they no-doubtedly said. I tell you the real reasons. Companies selling bottled water (Coke, Pepsi, Nestlé, andsoon) wanted to make money. So they bribed lobbied some politicians and they had their way with it. Now you ppor people have to go to the store and BUY water.

TTIP and the dangers that may come with it, could mean exactly the same fate for us europeans. The bottling companies will see our clean, and relatively free, water as a problem, they’ll go to the “courts” and say they expected more income, and thus are suing us. Then the governments will have to gradually lower our water quality, until we have to BUY water in the store.

Not being allowed to collect rain water (in the US) is another sign that this is the way it went down! Rainwater is flushed in the sewer system, so it is NOT going to the aquafier. Why not collect it and use it for irrigation, or if you have filters for drinking? MONEY! Rain water is for free. You’re not paying your water prividing servies, nor are you buying any in the supermarket. Thus, it’s illegal!

A small reminder to you US citizens: if your water reservoir is ABOVE ground and deer, people and what not can shit and pee in it – don’t drink it. Because someone WILL defecate into it. (or drop shit into the water that is not good for you)
Underground, enclosed reservoirs. Yes. (Unless there’s a “fracking site” nearby, then avoid drinking anything and move away as far as you can, as soon as you can)

Now, let’s go to the tap and get some water.

Cheers!
A.