Posts tagged ‘entertainer’

Starch Sticks

About last week’s fake food sticks.

It IS starch with flavour added in.

Bwahahahaha
I hate it when I’m right…

Oh well, can’t be helped. You vegan lot with your “alternative food” that is.

Perhaps you wish to wash it down with this drink?

Stay healthy,
A.

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Eat Real? 

Found this questionable item in my local supermarket.
That’s right.
Supermarket.

Not the insane asylum that is the organic market.

“Eat Real”
As opposed to surreal eating?
Unreal eating? Should I be eating houses now?
What the fuck are you dimwits all about?
Dipshits.

Kale, Tomato and Spinach all don’t come in any way shape or form close to this stuff.
Is it made with an insane amount of starch? Therefore tasting like styrofoam, with some hint of “vegetable” taste?
Had the producers dunked the shaped sticks in fat and fried it to death? If so, what’s wrong with crisps/chips? Potato was a vegetable last I checked.
So it’s vegan.
Dipshits.

Listen. You want a tomato snack?
Easy:
Eat. A fucking. Tomato.
Kale?
Same. Fucking. Procedure.
Spinach?
Surprise!

Tomato even comes in a dried variant, so you have the same dryness.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you people? Can’t you eat like normal humans? You know.
Real!

I do not demand you to eat meat, don’t get me wrong, but this shit is surely NOT how ANY creature should be eating vegetables. In dried out styrofoam pellet form.
Stop making weird food pellets out of *something* and call it food.
Eat. Fucking. Food.
Full stop.

Stay healthy, eat REAL food.
A.

Scary 

Easter came and went, and as such I, unexpectedly, have another trinket for you.

Because if I don’t, my brain will swell until my skull cracks open like an egg, so it can escape the fruitless pondering of “who thought that this was a good idea???”

This coloring book is neat, at first glance:

Googly eyes.
Until you change the page.

UNGODLY NIGHTMARE CREATURE, UNHOLY GHOUL FROM THE FIRE REALM! CALL 911, THE FBI, CIA, NSA, KGB AND CHINA!
Fuck me, this is creepy.

So, as an after thought, again a ghoulish happy Zomb…er…easter. 

Take care,
A.