Posts tagged ‘farmville’

Farms (Beating the Virtual pt.”FarmHouseSlaughter”)

In addition to the subject of the asylum facebook:

What is up with with these farms?

I don’t get it people!
First there was Farmville on Necronomicon Facebook, then came MyLittleFarm, now I see ads (on TV!!!) for MyLittleFarmies.
What the actual fuck?
What is it with farms? Are people nowadays in desperate need of something simpler?

Is the life and misery of a farmer so much more desirable than our every day life? I can’t explain the success of (and demand for) these games any other way. Worrying about storms, hails, floods, draughts, a seven day work week, disease, vermin, … yeah. I want to be a farmer…fuck no.

WHY?Why on earth are these games so popular? I can understand some settlers: farms, lumbers, hunters, fishermen, warriors, armies and wars. OKAY.
But Farms?
Just the farms?
Jesus Harvesting Christ!

Isn’T ONE farm game enough? Did/do we really need MORE? Are there going to be even more? You want a farm, get yourself a lot, plant some stuff and tend to it. Real life farming, you know? Beat Monsanto the company that must not be named by planting your own food, but for the love of nature, god, society and everything that is just and true – stop playing farm games!

Beating the virtual (part 1)

After months of absence from Facebook, returning there even for five minutes is like visiting a mental institution. As if you have been there and made friends with other patients; really great people, relatable people.

Then you were released, and you went out into the real world:

Real friends, private life, and after some time you think “Hey, I wonder how my Pals are doing! Gonna visit them!” and as you do and watch them for a few minutes you are struck with the sudden realisation “They’re fuckin nuts!

“Thanks for the cow, want a sheep?” no farmersmarket, but farmville. Okay that ain’t the deal anymore, for some time it was Mafiawars.

Really? Sending others to virtually sleep with virtual fishes?

If I were a Mafia boss I would find the people responsible and send THEM sleeping with the fishes. I would make Zuckerberg sleep with the fishes.

So they answered Pop Song Quizzes.

“What song released in 1984 had he female genitalia mutilation as a topic?”

Answer: none. Unless the song was called “Ouch motherfucker, this hurts and bleeds, I’m gonna kill ya!”, none.

You see the makers of these quizzes are like pretentious english teachers. Interpreting shit into a piece of literature, or song in his case, that isn’t there. Like a mental patient at the insane asylum.


If I were to ever release my stories, someone would go and ask “What does he fucking sphere of water hovering in that tower mean?” and some pretentious asshole would say “the auhor means the holed up tears inside of us hidden from the outside world, obviously needing to get someone to see the sadness inside, the sphere hints at a need for the feminine, since a boob is also roughly spherical; especially since a tower is a phallic symbol, the feminine inside of us needs attention!” no.

No motherfucker, its just a fucking ball of water floating inside a tower. It’s a goddamn fantasy story!

A goddess of water lives inside it!

“there! The feminine aspect gets corporeal form!” [shooting noise]

If any author or musician needs to hide his or her true intentions behind symbolism of this magnitude, then I don’t give a shit! If he excuses it with just a subconscious experience of he protagonist – i don’t care!

Just like the star wars books!

If Lucas wants to say something he should’ve made better prequels! I couldn’t care less about the cartoon series or he fucking books!

Neither do I care for hidden meanings and symbolism in songs, poems or stories. Get it out in the open or shut the fuck up! So to answer the pop song quizz: no song about the mutilation of female genitalia was released in 1984…

As if a POP singer could do that! Pop! The lowest of the low! Look at the people dominating the charts! Look at them! These people wouldn’t understand symbolism if you beat them with a book about symbolism, covered in symbols!

I heard a car alarm the other day.

I got the impression that these so called pop musicians these days sometimes stand on the street, hear a caralarm going off and then think “Hey! I’m going to make a song out of this!”

“weeooweeooweeoo yo out on da street weeooweeooweeoo my homies in da hood” repeat.

six producers and five writers creating a facebookpage…

I need to leave the asylum, it pains me to leave behind some of my friends, others I can see elsewhere.

But I have to leave the nut house…