Posts tagged ‘food’

No fap

There is something I don’t get about this.

Why are you making this public??

Seriously?

Jacking off doesn’t take ANYTHING away from you. It doesn’t hamr you, or anyone else in your life. If your taste in porn is so disgusting that you feel ashamed, now that is another topic. If you’re into illegal shit, that is a REAL problem, but the overall majority of the airheads out there are doing NoFap for utter no reason.
Not fapping doesn’t give you superpowers, it doesn’t improve your stamina, or health. It is utter nonsense.

But! And this needs to be said, just like Veganism or Religion, if it makes you happy – good for you. BUT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!

Holy fucking moses!
That these things need to be said!
How would you feel if I started to blog REGULARLY about being a ProFap-Carnivorian-Hardcoreatheist? If I came here every week and started to preach to you the benefit of waxing the surfboard at least twice a day, intermissioned with large amounts of meat and defying god in every religion on the planet?

Perhaps that’d get my view up? Controversy attracts people…hmmm….I gotta go, and rethink my blog.

Take care,
A.

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More irritating food stuff…

After all the other vile garbage (the ingredients to summon the vegan Demon of bad taste for example), I found the next questionable item to go with it. 

It is literally called “Test of courage”: 

A chocolate bar with enough Scoville to be allowed only from the age of sixteen up.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have my fill of tear jerking spiciness the old fashioned way:

The trouble with tomatoes

After assessing whether the tomatoes are ripe, the harvest can begin in earnest.

Let’s bring ’em in. Although they have a good sturdy skin, don’t stack them to high, or the weight might harm those at the bottom! 

Cleaning and storing them after transport is easy, for the most part. Of course a few need some “creative persuasion”…

Bring the appropriate tools to deal with Killertomatoes…

Starch Sticks

About last week’s fake food sticks.

It IS starch with flavour added in.

Bwahahahaha
I hate it when I’m right…

Oh well, can’t be helped. You vegan lot with your “alternative food” that is.

Perhaps you wish to wash it down with this drink?

Stay healthy,
A.

Eat Real? 

Found this questionable item in my local supermarket.
That’s right.
Supermarket.

Not the insane asylum that is the organic market.

“Eat Real”
As opposed to surreal eating?
Unreal eating? Should I be eating houses now?
What the fuck are you dimwits all about?
Dipshits.

Kale, Tomato and Spinach all don’t come in any way shape or form close to this stuff.
Is it made with an insane amount of starch? Therefore tasting like styrofoam, with some hint of “vegetable” taste?
Had the producers dunked the shaped sticks in fat and fried it to death? If so, what’s wrong with crisps/chips? Potato was a vegetable last I checked.
So it’s vegan.
Dipshits.

Listen. You want a tomato snack?
Easy:
Eat. A fucking. Tomato.
Kale?
Same. Fucking. Procedure.
Spinach?
Surprise!

Tomato even comes in a dried variant, so you have the same dryness.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you people? Can’t you eat like normal humans? You know.
Real!

I do not demand you to eat meat, don’t get me wrong, but this shit is surely NOT how ANY creature should be eating vegetables. In dried out styrofoam pellet form.
Stop making weird food pellets out of *something* and call it food.
Eat. Fucking. Food.
Full stop.

Stay healthy, eat REAL food.
A.

Superfoods!

I don’t know whether I have already presented my disdain – full on hatred is more like it – for this despicable garbage that is “superfoods”, if so, here we go again, if not, here we go.

◆First off, the people who birthed the term and continue to pass their stillbirth around like a real baby, are the sort of people who name(d) themselves after a fruit that evolved to be eaten by giant ice age sloths, and giant ice age sloths alone, and which is around today simply because ancient humans have cultivated that fruit after they had hunted the giant sloths to extinction – aka, the fruit was the bitch, the giant sloth its pimp. We killed the pimp, and became the bitch’s new pimp instead. People who call themselves after such a weak and unemancipated fruit, should not be allowed to birth any new terminology. 

◆There is no such thing as a superfood. If there were, EVERY human in the history of mankind would know about it, and eat it – with added vanilla taste and as a fish-milkshake.
Every religion would praise it as heavenly/divine shit, despite the fact that the infidels of the other religions (and the atheists) do so too. Every leader – including super racists – would’ve endorsed it, every zealous third-wave feminist would love it, despite the patriarchal (ab)use of “this feminine superfood”.
This isn’t happening at any point in history, what does that tell you?

◆”But, but, but, the western world only now discovered this edible treasure of ancient asian/mezoamerican culture!!!!” But, but, but, Asia traded with Europe throughout history, some medieval, or even ancient greek, discoverer would’ve gotten wind of the pussball berries. After the rapingdiscovery of America some schmuck somewhere would’ve returned with those ratdung-seeds, and we’d consume it daily since the fifteen hundreds. Hasn’t happened. Why?
Exactly.

◆Financial interest. Apples are as much a superfood as those fancy mice droppings from the Mayans, or some berries from central Asia. Fibres, vitamins, energy. But the ice age remnants did not elect this to be their superfood.
Why?
Not fancy enough, not enough money in it. Import that funky snot-berry mousedropping-seed and there’s money in it when you resell it as a superfood.

◆In some weird parallel universe, where the laws of physics do not exist, or work grossly different than here, there may be an odd, misshapen, world where terms that are non-descriptive of reality – like superfood(s) – have a rightful plafe of existence.
But not here.
Here, using this word in a sincere manner, shows just that the user of this, is a cranial ascetic, deprived of any rational thought, completely submerged in nutrional nonsense and woo.

Conclusion:
There are no superfoods.

Take care,
A.

Lath eating

1. Open mouth
2. Stuff food in mouth
3. Chew. Preferably with mouth closed.
4. Swallow.
Repeat until sate (or no more food available)

See? Life ain’t that hard!

But that’s not the issue some (many) people have with eating. Life ain’t that easy?

☆What to eat?
It’s easy, really. Follow the standard food pyramid.
☆Should you go Vegan?
No.
Why? Because it is our omnivorous diet that allowed for the development of bigger brains in our ancestors. Unless you want a devolution in your descendants down the line, you should continue to eat meat.
Occasionally.
(BTW If you already are vegan, go for it. Own it. But do not make fake meat out of something. The processes involved in this, ruin all ‘value’ contained in your paste, add shit you couldn’t imagine and are surely as healthy as eating a pack of coal. Plus, you look like some cunt unable to follow a simple conviction: no meat or animal products!)
☆Superfoods?
There is no such thing as a superfood. If there were “Superfoods” on this lovely planet we call home, every asshole and their mother would be eating it since forever. No we wouldn’t need to ‘rediscover’ it, it would’ve never been suppressed! Healthy subjects are strong subjects, can fight in your army and pay taxes. It would’ve been in the interests of all churches, all monarchs and dictators, all governments and all peoples of the earth throughout history to consume “Superfoods”. They just don’t exist.
Deal with it.
☆Paleodiet!
No. Just, no. Whole grain is neat and all, but ruins teeth. You don’t want to be hungry and in pain, do you? By the way, unless you can show me wild mammoths to hunt, you ain’t doing paleo anything!
☆Some other diet then?
No. A diet (in the ‘lose weight’ sense) is starving your body of its reserves. Once you end it and go back to ‘normal’ eating habits, your body is in a regenerate-reserves mode, and will pack back on, in case the starving period starts again. That is natural. Change your diet (as in your eating habits), slightly, but permanently. AND EXERCISE!
☆Exercising isn’t bad!!
That is correct. If you do it right. Jogging on concrete sidewalks, for example, IS bad. For your joints and back. If the street next to which you run is a busy one, quit running, start smoking instead. About equally as healthy for you.
☆Moar workout!
Maybe. But as soon as you need to stop your exercising regime (due to sickness or injury for example), you will pack on, unless you restrict your calorie intake as well.

As with so many things, eating right is a question of moderation, not restriction. Consume vitamins in which ever way you prefer (there is no difference between those in pills and those in fruit, grow up), eat moderate amounts, and balance it. Do some exercise.

There. Still wasn’t that hard.
Take care,
A.