Posts tagged ‘fuck’

Spank me tin lady!

With all the advancements in computer science, engineering, AI, deep learning and robotics, all we humans are asking is “Can I fuck it?”.

Interesting.

Anyway. Gizmodo [insert disgruntled sigh here] had punished the article linked here.

Do BDSM Sexbots violate Asimov’s first law of robotics?

Simple answer, no. In a normal consenting setting no real/lasting harm comes to the participants.

The already practiced use of a safeword puts further power into the hands of the sub. A properly programmed AI in such a bot would also pose less risk of disregarding the safeword, like a human might.

More complicated answers, answers from people who do not understand the laws of robotics (or BDSM for that matter) can be found in the article.

The laws of robotics were drafted and worded by Asimov in such a way that they explicitly allow for loopholes, for contradictions. He explores this in numerous of his stories. The question here shouldn’t be whether BDSM Sexbots violate Asimov’s first law of robotics, but WHY ARE WE STILL USING ASIMOV’S LAWS OF ROBOTICS???

They’re flawed. They don’t need a rework, they need a full out replacement. Allowing for exceptions to certain rules/laws, closing of the old loopholes.

•Are Sexbots unethical? No.

•Are BDSM Sexbots unethical? No.

•Does the creation/existence of Sexbots objectify women? No.

•Do Sexbots cause harm? Not that I could think of. (Of course there are mentally unstable individuals out there who might take it too far, but they would take it too far with a mannequin made out of milkcartons and Play-Doh.)

•Do BDSM Sexbots cause harm? No. (See above)

So. Now that we have settled that question, can we please think of other ways to use this technology other than to fuck? Care of the sick/elderly/crippled. Construction (cylon style). Security (with certain rules imprinted on them). Space travel/exploration. Disaster relief/cleanup.

Could we use our intelligence to solve a few more pressing issues rather than whether we can build fuckable bots? Climate Change. Environment. Energy production. Pollution. Food. (Neither ditching nuclear, nor avoiding GMOs will help with those last four/five, on the fucking contrary) Water. Health. (Get vaccinated! Homeopathy isn’t real!)

Can we stop religion? EVERY RELIGION?

For the sake of the future!

Take care,

A.

Spank me tin lady!

With all the advancements in computer science, engineering, AI, deep learning and robotics, all we humans are asking is “Can I fuck it?”.

Interesting.

Anyway. Gizmodo [insert disgruntled sigh here] had punished the article linked here.

Do BDSM Sexbots violate Asimov’s first law of robotics?

A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

Simple answer, no. In a normal consenting setting no real/lasting harm comes to the participants.

The already practiced use of a safeword puts further power into the hands of the sub. A properly programmed AI in such a bot would also pose less risk of disregarding the safeword, like a human might.

More complicated answers, answers from people who do not understand the laws of robotics (or BDSM for that matter) can be found in the article.

The laws of robotics were drafted and worded by Asimov in such a way that they explicitly allow for loopholes, for contradictions. He explores this in numerous of his stories. The question here shouldn’t be whether BDSM Sexbots violate Asimov’s first law of robotics, but WHY ARE WE STILL USING ASIMOV’S LAWS OF ROBOTICS???

They’re flawed. They don’t need a rework, they need a full out replacement. Allowing for exceptions to certain rules/laws, closing of the old loopholes.

•Are Sexbots unethical? No.

•Are BDSM Sexbots unethical? No.

•Does the creation/existence of Sexbots objectify women? No.

•Do Sexbots cause harm? Not that I could think of. (Of course there are mentally unstable individuals out there who might take it too far, but they would take it too far with a mannequin made out of milkcartons and Play-Doh.)

•Do BDSM Sexbots cause harm? No. (See above)

So. Now that we have settled that question, can we please think of other ways to use this technology other than to fuck? Care of the sick/elderly/crippled. Construction (cylon style). Security (with certain rules imprinted on them). Space travel/exploration. Disaster relief/cleanup.

Could we use our intelligence to solve a few more pressing issues rather than whether we can build fuckable bots? Climate Change. Environment. Energy production. Pollution. Food. (Neither ditching nuclear, nor avoiding GMOs will help with those last four/five, on the fucking contrary) Water. Health. (Get vaccinated! Homeopathy isn’t real!)

Can we stop religion? EVERY RELIGION?

For the sake of the future!

Take care,

A.

PS, Data!!!!

Tu Felix Austria

There’s this hospital being built in my home town of Vienna: Hospital north.

The price tag nearly doubled, it’s opening date postponed several times.

But that is not of the issue.

Recently ONE additional item about that hospital came to light with the hefty price tag of 95,000 Euro.

“What was it? An improved Heli-pad?” no my friends, nothing so simple, mundane and practical.

A FUCKING PROTECTION CIRCLE!

For 95,000 Euro a “consultant” was hired to “integrate the plot with mother natures energy flows” and “draw a protective circle” around it.

95k for woo.

If it was a private hospital catering to the rich, but delusional goop-buying crowd, I wouldn’t care. But it is a public hospital. Paid for with tax payer money. And mandatory pubic health insurance money.

WOO!

The city councillor responsible for these matters (who should be fired over this) didn’t know Jack about this, and had tasked the leader of the hospital department (who should be fired over this) to find the one responsible for this, who was then transfered (I hope that is code for “she was be fired over this).

No one, not one, of the RESPONSIBLE people actually feel responsible, and they claim to know nothing of this.

In the end one of of these neuron deficient weasels will stand there and say in an apologetic tone “I take full responsibility.”

YOU HAD IT THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME!!!

It sounds like the plot to some springtime-for-Hitler esque comedy starring Tim Allen, or an onion piece. But this is real folks.

In middle Europe.

A modern, western country.

Not some third world country that until last night was still hunting witches.

No.

AUSTRIA.

EUROPE.

What irks me the most about this is the implicitness with which all of this is reported. As if a “realignment with mother natures energy flows” and “protection against negative influences” was something that is being done with every plot, every building site. If some rich trouser stain is doing this for his estate – knock yourself out.

In that case I’d be rooting for the fraud. Take the rich fucks money! Take as much as you can carry.

But this?

PUBLIC money, for a PUBLIC hospital.

The guy who did all that (funny name, “Fasching” loosely translated “ Carnival”) was a car dealer before he turned esoteric. Why he stopped being a car dealer? His superiors pressured him too much to make a profit.

Oh. They would be so proud.

He sold a bunch of nothing and got paid massively for it.

In addition to the aforementioned bullshit he also held a seminar (or a few) for the higher-ups (who should all be fired over this) of the one-fine-day-to-be hospital.

None of them said anything or raised an alarm.

Not one said “I’m going back to doing actual work, you’re gone in five or I’ll call the cops and the press.”

95,000 Euro for absolutely nothing!

A councillor from another party stated in an interview that it is a shame that a hospital, a place of science, is involved with such woo.

I agree.

But, as a side note,

A – you are from the Christian party. Shut up.

B – there’s a homeopathic walk in clinic at Vienna’s AKH (common hospital) – paid for with, you guessed it, TAXPAYER and mandatory public health insurance money.

I am aggravated, outraged, and in the mood for murder, but: I am not surprised.

Fuck me sideways.

There are tribes yet uncontacted-by-civilisation in the Amazon who laugh at us over this! There are bush-people tripping on mushrooms (or the likes) with a more firm grip on reality.

It isn’t just a shame, this warrants a wave – a tsunami – of people getting fired (WITHOUT PAY, that is being kept to balance the 95k out!) to ensure that the idiocy is rooted out. “Cut healthy tissue close to the tumor away too doc, better safe than sorry.”

I think I will draft a letter to the city council:

As chairman of the darkmage society of austria, I demand 94,999 euro, or we will destroy the protection circle and flood the hospital grounds with negative energies, we are many, your puny trickster can not stop us.

If they resist and say how they will know that we have destroyed the protection I’ll answer how they know that it hasn’t. “We have the guarantee of the man who made it.”

“You have my guarantee against it.”

Word against word.

Insanity against insanity.

Take care,

A.

Mother’s day 2017

Been to a gift shop, found these “innocent” party masks. 

I have seen that movie. Those three are going to have their way with a woman in an all night ravaging orgy. 

So, there’s a gift idea for this Sunday’s mother’s day 2017: If you don’t know mommies three “best friends”, just give her these masks, she’ll make good use of them. 

Crappy Mother’s day, and if you get a new sibling in February, and your mommy calls them an animal name like rabbit, deer or teddy/bear – you’ll know more than you ever wanted…

People who….

schould be beaten with poles enscribed with facts.

These days the bullshit express ran around Facebook (and other asocial media) with the two dudes standing opposite each other arguing whether the number painted on the floor between them is a ‘6’ or a ‘9’.
fb_img_1475555081327.jpg

Listen here you uber pseudo-tolerant assholes out there, this is completely wrong.
This is the level of erroneous bullshit I’ve come to expect to see from people who need ‘safe spaces’ (despite there being none on the planet, unless you dig an airraid shelter without internet, TV or radio, books or newspapers, then you and your opinions are in a safe space).
There are no other sides to a debate about the “truth”.
Either something is, or it isn’t. (Unless you’re dealing with quantum physics. But that’s another can of worms.)
A friend of mine said that, while you do not have to give validity to the opinions of the other side, you have to give validity to the emotions behind them.
No.
No, I don’t.
Giving validation, for example, to these cretins who believe vaccines cause autism, even in the slightest, is too much. They squeeze their foot through the door and wiggle until they are in. And before you know it they stand in your living room babbling on about something, reeking of rancid coconut oil and herbal mixtures for their hair.

We live in a time and world where opinions and feelings are higher valued than facts, and someone coined the phrase ‘post-factual’. In such a world where I can beat on peoples ears with facts until my mouth dries up and their eardrums bleed, without changing ANYTHING, you honestly expect me to see your (erring) point of view, or the misguided emotions behind it?
No.

“Look sunshine, here’s a 4, a 5 and thus this is a 6, followed by a 7 and an 8, and, oh, look, a 9.
If you go there and argue that it is a 6, I will make you eat the paint.” Facts, people, facts.

I’m done debating feelings and opinions crowds. These window-lickers are immune to facts, why waste my time?
The earth is a globe (more or less), it isn’t hollow, moonlanding was real, 9/11 was a terrorist attack, there are no reptilians, the jewish global conspiracy is non existent, vaccines are safe, healthy, and important, chemtrails do not exist, nor do Morgellons, aliens (if they exist at all) don’t give a crap about earth – or humans in particular, safespaces are bullshit, there are only 2 genders (Genders, are facts. Identities, are feelings. Got that? Good, moving on), HAARP and weather manipulation are BS, mindcontrol does not work, and dihydrogrenmonoxide is H2O also known as water you chemistry-phobic velcro shoe wearing half wits!

I state the facts in an argument, I will not discuss the opinions and emotions. Facts.
If you do not change your mind and keep on being stupid, fuck you.
The point of ridicule has then been reached. And I will make fun of you until I get bored.
Trolling? Maybe.
Adequate reaction of a facts person to a postfactual idiot? Definitely.

Do not defend this garbage. Keep this postfactual crap where it belongs – in pre-school.

Take care
A.

Juice Bar.

image

Happy Hangov…gnn…you….you know what, frak you!
Whoever came up with the mixture of Apple, Beetroot, Lime (another fraking Citrus, that waste of fructose, time and sunshine should be wiped off the planet together with that nauseating, headache inducing citrus stench. Taters and Apples have more Vitamins, so, NO!) and Basil should be forced to drink this, every day of the week, until kingdom come, no deviation, nothing else.
Just the Happy Hangover drink.

For the love of all that is just and true, who is this catering to?
Alcoholics?
Here’s a tip you marketing twats, alcoholics don’t get hangovers, why? Hangovers only happen to people who are foolish enough to stop drinking.

Want a happy hangover?
Mix yourself a Bloody Mary.
Or pour some Vodka into this abominable waste of fructose and dihydrogenmonoxide.
Jesus fraking Christ!

Most redundant thing in the history of beverages, even worse than the Applestrudel drink…frak…

Earth day…

image

Happy STFU day, Facebook!

Okay, maybe that was harsh, but completely justified. Let me elaborate on that.

First, for each and every dump the calendar has to offer, you come to me about it. Soooo STFU.

Secondly, fuck the earth!
The earth, as a planet, as an ecosystem, is doing perfectly fine. It has done so for aeons, and will for aeons more until the sun expands.
We, us humans, might face some difficulties though. The ecosystem is changing, partly (most of it actually) due to our own activities in it. That change is happening more and more rapidly.
That change threatens OUR survival.

Let’s face it people, let’s face it Facebook.
It’s NOT earth we are worried about, it’s us. Fuck those birds, bees, whales and crabs. We are in danger, we will become endangered.
So let’s collectively drop the pretentious bullshit here, and stop calling it “Earth Day”, because if it were possible (and easy enough) to just pack our shit and move to Mars – we’d do it.
Let’s call it what it really is “Comfortzone, and Human-species preservance day”.

Now, bugger off, and remember, that there is only change, whether it is perceived as positive or negative, doesn’t matter, there is no adjective to change, just change itself,  and things are changing.

Take care,
A.

Who you gonna call?

Not. Me.

So the new Ghostbusters trailer finally dropped last week, after having had a trailer for the trailer (which is like an ad for an ad) and it shows us exactly what this Movie will be:
Utter crap.

Don’t get me wrong and start your feminist ramblings. I wanted to be excited about this movie, and I really didn’t give two shits about the fact they did the gender swap. Screw it, if it is written well, the all female cast is fine.
But that’s where the main problem lies. It is not written well.

It dishes out stereotypes (“sassy blackwoman”) uses unfunny comedy (“is it the wig or the hat”; did I go to the wrong trailer? Is this a scooby doo episode?), and the writing in all seems to follow the “how to write clean, politically correct, stereotypical comedy” rule book that has been floating around Hollywood for far too long.
For example, when one of them is possessed, I knew that she will get the ghost slapped out of her. Then it happens.
The ghost flies away, and here we have already established that ghosts can be seen, but I knew that she will get slapped again. Then that happens. Or when they both say “Let’s go.” and then go back and forth about it in an unfunny way.

Predictable.
Uncomfortable.
Unfunny.
Wannabe.

Again, no issue with them being women, just bad writing. Maybe a lack of chemistry.
And we get to a hint of an antagonist. “Someone is creating a device that amplifies paranormal activity…”

Fuck!
You!

If you’re looking for the best and funniest scenes in this movie, you just saw them.

If they make a sequel, I just hope it will be better written. Oh and by the way, I am seriously thinking about seeing this piece still. Why? So I can better judge it. Who knows, maybe the trailer is utter crap, and the film a hidden gem. Part of me sees this as a case of Star Wars. We all knew the prequels sucked ass, we still went to watch Episode 3.
We’ll see….take care, and keep bustin’
A.

Life ain’t that hard, Escalate and Elevate

It is simple, both devices take you from one floor to another. And for both you don’t need a PhD in theoretical physics.

Look, it’s simple:
★ Escalators, are basically stairs that go up, or go down:
•stand on the right
•walk on the left
•don’t sit on the handrail and don’t be surprised to plummet to your death if you do
•tie your Shoelaces beforehand, or else they may get caught in the thing
•don’t “run” in the opposite direction staying stationary
•watch your step upon stepping on and off the thing
•no pram, bike, wheelchair, dog or unicorn on this

★Elevators, these cabins of death move vertically, not yet in the horizontal plane, or diagonally, it is bets to sing “Oh lord, what is I gon’ do?” upon entry, and keep these in mind:
•I can’t stress the importance of doors.
•press button of desired target floor
•don’t: fart, defecate, urinate, spit, litter, fuck, vomit…eat, drink…deal with or consume drugs, murder people or animals, make or play music, apply deodorant/perfume/cologne…or worst of all: converse.
•upon exit, don’t press (all) other floor buttons
•someone approaches the elevator, hold the door open, don’t close it on them (or let it happen)
•no silly creepypasta games. Ever.
•it is not funny to press the emergency button
•in case the elevator gets stuck, press the emergency button, and remain calm, take long breaths
•IN CASE OF FIRE THE SHAFT ACTS LIKE A CHIMNEY, so DON’T use it…
•if it has one, do not press the STOP button

Now that this is cleared up, we can take the stairs…
•don’t put flowers on them, buy a shelf you cheap frak
•don’t sit there like homeless people, get a couch you cum stain…

Take care,
A.

Life ain’t that hard, public transportation

You know what would make the daily commute a real treat? Less of any…

Riding the bus, or anything else public transport, isn’t exactly complicated, it’s fairly easy.  But all the while people have trouble with it, so to make it all a little less shitty, a little less smelly, a lot less noisy and overal a little bit nicer, here it is, simply read and remember (or print out):

☆Beforehand: Take a shower, or use deodorant. But do not bathe in cologne/perfume! Do not apply any of this stuff at the public transport of choice
☆Beforehand: Brush your teeth, or get a strong gum. Do not use strawberry toothpaste, or brush your teeth in public transportation!
☆Food isn’t sold or served in the vehicles, so don’t eat there! You’re not a Hobbit.
★It’s not a restroom, so don’t shit, piss or, if possible, vomit here! And don’t change your tampon either!
☆This ain’t a watering hole, get drunk elsewhere.
☆Earphones yes, Speakers no. No one cares for your shitty taste in what you wrongly call “music”.
☆This ain’t a phone booth, if you get a call, tell them you’re busy, don’t call anyone. If everyone did it, the noise would be unbelievable.
☆This is not a Singles Bar, stop hitting on people!
☆Do. Not. Fuck. There! Seriously, does this need an explanation? (This includes dry humping.)
☆Old, pregnant, handicapped people with infants get your seat if you are NOT in any one of these categories.
Doors. Nuff said.
☆Don’t deal with or consume drugs in the public transport, or adjacent places.
☆Busses, Trains, etc. are not a stage for you aspiring ‘musicians’, they’re not the catwalk for all you pretend ‘models’ and they’re not a good photo op. Got it? Good.
☆Unless you need help (heart attack, etc.) or help (lost) or help (getting mugged/groped/etc.) DO NOT TALK TO STRANGERS
☆Throw garbage into litter bins, especially chewing gum! Don’t you get my butt stuck to the seat.
☆Don’t fight. This isn’t your territory, it isn’t contested. It belongs to the government/transportation company.
☆If you are with one or more friend/s keep your conversation at a low volume, if you’re deaf – learn sign language.
☆Old people, well into retirement, this one’s for you: During rush hour, stay wherever you are, but stay away from public transport. Same with women who have small children.
★Bicycles, don’t bring them here. Seriously, be a nuisance elsewhere, but don’t come here with your thing (soon!)
★Escalators and Elevators, holy crap, we really have to explain these too? Okay, soon…
☆Take your feet off the seats, take your bags of the seats. Or else some of hour fellow commuters might become hostile.
☆This ain’t your bed, so do not lie across two (or more) seats. Your options are: sitting and standing.
Or you can walk.

See? A concise list, easily committed to memory, a small print out.
Or, as I would call it “COMMON FRACKING SENSE”.

Take care, and
☆Get a friggin ticket before taking the ride. No bullshitting your way out of it!

A.