Posts tagged ‘Game of Thrones’

A surprise egg!!!

Oh boy! I am letting out my inner child by buying this. I loved kinder surprise eggs as a kid. I’m a nerd. This will no doubt be a shitty toy, but it will still be epic!!!

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. The suspense is kiiiilling meeeee!!!!

Here we see tangible disappointment in the shape of a FUCKING ERASER!!!

If I were still a kid I’d be having a massive tantrum right now. Any child finding this inside their Star Wars surprise egg would be choking back tears of disappointment, broken dreams while munching on cheap chocolate. Maybe it skips well across the lake when tossed at the right angle and speed…

What is this supposed to be? Preparation for life? Cheap chocolate, suspense, disappointment. Not ONE parent will buy a second one of these. I won’t. I’m 35 and I even felt cheated and deeply disappointed. 

They should make Game of Thrones surprise eggs, containing the severed heads of the cast, with a small amount of fake blood in them for maximum gore and “fun”…

Whoever made this shit a reality should be forced to watch one thousand kids opening these fuckers. 

Take care, A.

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Advices (part I?)

I am usually not one to browse the advice columns, and even if I per chance glimpse one or two funny things in there, I just quip about it with my wife and my best friend, and then it’s done.

But this time I’ve got to steal a format from Buckley. 

Dear anybody but the lunatic, 

I recently caught my fiancé and his sister together and broke up with him. I’d always gotten a strange feeling about their closeness, but I didn’t believe it until I saw with my own eyes. To my family and friends, it seems like I woke up one morning and decided not to get married. Everyone is pushing me to work things out with my fiancé. Initially, I wanted to keep what I saw between them and me. If I tell people they have an incestuous relationship, it would probably destroy their lives. I know they’re barely functioning and terrified I will tell people about them. I’m worried I will seem spiteful if I tell even a few trusted loved ones the real reason I called off the wedding. At the same time, I’m heartbroken too and don’t know how much longer I can handle lectures about “letting a good man get away.” Should I stay quiet or speak up?

Signed, let’s call her Lonesome in Lannisport.

(Note: The original advice columnist suggested at the end to tell people that the fiance was unfaithful and to leave it at that, as it contained enough truth.)

Dear Lonesome,

call me an evil maniac or a vengeful shitlord, but I’d say that you should tell them.
Tell your friends, your family, their family, the local newspaper, church congregation, everyone. 

If I got cheated on in preparation to our weeding, I’d make both their lives living hell. Siblings in an incestuous relationship, makes that only that much easier, as no one in their right mind would defend their behavior. You know, there is always some friends, relatives, counselors, or someone who side(s) with the cheater, rather than the cheated. Making up excuses. Trying to get you, the cheated, to see things from their, the cheaters, point of view. Not here.
We have a Jamie and Cersei situation here, and this ain’t Game of Thrones. Don’t be worried that it’ll ruin their lives if you tell. THEY should’ve thought about that before doing the dance with no pants together, and brought that all upon themselves. You on the other hand will get support from your community (friends, relatives, bla bla bla) instead of pressure, and they get what they deserve.

So please, tell them the whole truth, before a Geoffrey gets conceived. 

Take care, 

A.

Stuff 8th August 2013

Story:
Just to keep you folks up to date, I am done with the fourth part of Finns (see here for details) and now I’m taking a break. As things are right now there will be no “Journals of the Hexagon”, at least not now. The grand finale is looming ahead and gruesome battles and wars await, so I guess after my “break” I’ll jump into that. The soonest I will pick up again will be on Monday, leaving my mind enough time to wind down. AND to allow me for reading.

Reading:
Currently on the menue, Game of Thrones! Finally coming around to read it, can’t wait for the point in time when I have read them all and finally can watch the TV show and bitch about how it strays away from the books… :Þ (Yes, I like to do that, did it with hannibal in reverse Movie first, then book, and still loved the book far more)

Heat:
So this is the end, huh? Today the heatwave is said to have it’s grand finale with a bang….or rather a loud muffled sigh. 40°C would be a new record high in this country.
Although I love heat, it stopped being fun a week ago or so. A long persitant heatwave like this is not fun anymore. For weeks on end I’m encrusted with a thin salt layer, still moist and anything but stiff, but a crust nonetheless – I am fed with it by now. Bring on a little rain, thunderstorms, WIND!
A turkish explorer/traveler from medival times refered to my hometown as “the city of winds” as there’s ALWAYS a wind blowing though the valleys. We live in fracking swamp! Or at least what once in roman times WAS a swamp. There IS a lot of wind here. Not recently.
I’m surprised though, no global warming slogans all around me? Really? This is the perfect opportunity!
Oh wait, let me guess – the protesters are too hot and have retreated to indoors where the AC cools them down.
Hipocrites.

Douchebag alert!
I saw a man two days ago in the subway. The amount of hipster-douchebag was over 9000!!! The thick glasses, ridiculous hairdo and shitty clothes gave him away as a hipster right away – but that is something you can change if need be. Styles come and go, and you grow out of a certain apparel (my son grew pout of the first apparel just yesterday), you mature and you change.- If you DON’T change you stagnate, and that is as good as withered and dead on a mental level.
BUT! This idiot had a tatoo on his arm that made me remember him!
A cube. A fracking cube!!!
All the edges of that cube – like you draw in geometry class – and no sides/walls to it. This thing is almost forever etched into his skin! Forever branded as a douché! Good job idiot.
BTW: Why do women dislike sex with a hipster? He came before it was cool…. *badum tss*

And because of the long post, here’s a sunrise to make up for it: