Posts tagged ‘hippies’

BTH – ASMR…

Why is this even a thing?

These are people who do not know how to use a microphone: they’re breathing into one as if they wanted to either swallow, or make sweet sweet love to it.
That is NOT how you use a mic, dumbass.

I’m not one to deny others their kink, far from it, but you wankers want the “girlfriend experience” – without the “experience” part.
You see, afaik, some prostitutes offer “the girlfriend experience” (for extra of course), and then you get cuddling, kissing, sweet talk, and what not (I imagine). There you get an actual experience.
With this crap you get no experience.

If I were one to go on business trips around the globe, so when I lay my weary CEO head down to cry on a cushion stuffed with stacks of cash while I pleasure myself to sleep, my beloved trophy wife is not able to lull me through it on the phone thanks to timezones, I’d have her breathe into a mic for half an hour, nude, and then play that video back to me.
I am not.
These people are not near and dear to me.
On the polar opposite.
They are complete and utter fraking strangers!
Making all of this a little creepy…

I would almost understand this, if it were porn [porn-porn. Not this brain-porn crap that someone equated this bullshit to]:
A naked chick (or guy, what have you), giving an imaginary protagonist (the camera) a POV girlfriend experience.
With sweet talk, breathing into a microphone, sensual descriptive talk about what they ‘are doing’ with you, complete with ‘noise’.

But this is people breathe-talking in the most annoying fashion possible [not whispered, not spoken, but the dimwitted bastard offspring of the two, that’s too loud and pronounced to be soothing or comfortable, but too low and hushed to be easily intelligible], making noise too close to the microphone [if I for example were to crave the sound of a girl brushing her long long hair, I want to hear it like normal people hear it, not the way a mic taped to the back of the brush picks it up!], and saying the most ridiculously mundane crap ever [if you have no one in your life you can talk about bowel movements with, stop the ASMR, quit your busy job and get friends and/or a spouse, because that is what you NEED]!

Get outta here!

But note, after this election I understand everyone who needs to get relaxed in any way shape or form.

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Life ain’t that hard presents Beating the Hippies

No, today there will be no lesson in how to live life a bit more easy than what you’re used to.

Today LATH proudly presents BTH

Why?
It needs to be done, that’s why. I am sick and tired of the hippie shit I have to put with, so I am taking that peace sign from you and I will peacefully, and lovingly, bludgeon you to death with it.

There will be a whole range of topics and the BTH posts will be as rando, as the LATH posts, I have laid some topics out before me, but one thing needs to come first, and what’s the first thing that comes to mind when freely associating Hippie?

Weed.

I have had it with you folks telling the world that weed solves every ailment, ever.
Weed and coconut oil.

Listen you wind-tunnels, the moment you set something ablaze – be that tobacco, weed, crack, neighbors – so you can smoke it, guess what. You are inhaling smoke, which is not much more than gas, ash and soot. Which all is carcinogenic.
Your stupid claim that weed smoking (if only pure weed blunts are used) is null and void if you apply logic.

Don’t get me wrong people, I enjoyed that stuff when I was younger. I’d enjoy it today if I could get my hands on some, but the arguments are utter crap.

Legalise it? Yes. Give it to Hippies? No.

Punch it,
A.

Life ain’t that hard: School

It really is easy.

Get sent to school.
Survive.
Study and Graduate.
Have kids.
Send them to school.

You see here is the issue some of the parents out there are missing. They’re breaking the cycle.
They are homeschooling.
WHICH IS ONE OF THE DUMBEST THINGS I HAVE EVER HEARD OF!!

Mostly it’s these Antivaxxer Broccoli Milkshake hippie idiot parents who home school.
Listen you brain numb buffoons, would you take your car to have the brakes fixed to a guy who “really learned everything” from his dad, who has never know much about cars other than the fact that they have engines (or worse, draws a shamanic symbol on the wheels designed to invoke brake-spirits) or to someone who has a certificate and proper licence and education?

You would never take up advice from a stay home mum, who had only a basic education and training, on the intricate workings of your home’s plumbing, now would you?

Main motivation behind this homeschooling BS is the bullying that kids are exposed to at schools. There is a better solution than homeschooling. There is a better solution than teaching kids to stand up against bullies.
TEACH KIDS NOT TO BULLY!
There was a picture of a bully online recently, who had been caught bullying by hia dad. He then internet shamed his bullying son, and forced him to do social work. That’s the way! There you go.

Another big reason is “conformity”. These hippie dipahits fearing that their kids will be turned into braindead dummies for the system – forgetting that this exact system had shat them out too.
Conformity is an integral part of the human existence and experience. We are herd animals and want to be with the others, like the others. Besides, conformity in education guarantees identical chances later in life.

All this nonconformity garbage is only producing hippie-conform children. A truly nonconform child would be the unpredictable hellspawn we want to avoid our children becoming.

So again, let’s expand this:

Get sent to school.
Survive.
Study and Graduate.
Have kids.
Send them to school.
Teach them not to bully.
Let them be conform.

Have grandkids, enjoy.

Water (again)

Right now, we living in the EU, mostly enjoy clena water that is coming out of the tap. Some areas are less lucky, but hey. The EU is working on it.

Or are they?

I might sound paranoid, and might have to join forces with the hippies I so detest, but I fear that luxury is soon to come to an end. The TTIP agreement might frak us all in the rear with our clean water. Why? Well, look at the US for a warning example.

Communities had water coming to them, they had to clean it (with tax dollars) and then put it in the pipes. You could drink water directly from the tap. Good.
Then those services were shut down gradually. To save spening they no-doubtedly said. I tell you the real reasons. Companies selling bottled water (Coke, Pepsi, Nestlé, andsoon) wanted to make money. So they bribed lobbied some politicians and they had their way with it. Now you ppor people have to go to the store and BUY water.

TTIP and the dangers that may come with it, could mean exactly the same fate for us europeans. The bottling companies will see our clean, and relatively free, water as a problem, they’ll go to the “courts” and say they expected more income, and thus are suing us. Then the governments will have to gradually lower our water quality, until we have to BUY water in the store.

Not being allowed to collect rain water (in the US) is another sign that this is the way it went down! Rainwater is flushed in the sewer system, so it is NOT going to the aquafier. Why not collect it and use it for irrigation, or if you have filters for drinking? MONEY! Rain water is for free. You’re not paying your water prividing servies, nor are you buying any in the supermarket. Thus, it’s illegal!

A small reminder to you US citizens: if your water reservoir is ABOVE ground and deer, people and what not can shit and pee in it – don’t drink it. Because someone WILL defecate into it. (or drop shit into the water that is not good for you)
Underground, enclosed reservoirs. Yes. (Unless there’s a “fracking site” nearby, then avoid drinking anything and move away as far as you can, as soon as you can)

Now, let’s go to the tap and get some water.

Cheers!
A.

Addendum to the Hippies…

A well known theatre (actors on a stage) in my country is in dire need of renovations. To rake in donations they started an advertising campaign (with a rather unsettling image):

The woman in the picture (in others it’s a man) has no eyes, but skin stretched over the place where eyes should be. The slogan goes something like this: “Whether you want to see it, or not. No renovation. No theater. Let’s do something.”
Okay. Sad, but okay.

So far, so good.

Then someone took a sharpie (or edding) and wrote on the forehead of the woman on the ad the following

“So much injustice…
so many wars…so much lunacy…
whom is caring for theatre then?”

I know it isn’t supposed to say “whom” but I wanted to carry the grammatical error over from german, and this is the best I could come up with. So that would be issue number one with that graffity.

Number 2: Injustice? Wars? Lunacy? That’s business as usual you numbskull!
We need theatre (and it’s successors “Movies”, “TV”, “Gaming”, “Internet”) as a form of escapism. I’d rather live in a world with injustice, wars and lunacy that has these escapsims in it, than a world with absolute peace, equality and sense that has NO (performing) arts!

Theatre (and it’s successors) not only provide relief from the world we have to endure, but also serve as a projection of our dreams. Even IF we were to have peace, equality and sanity in the world, all of the world, we still have dreams, dreams that can’t be fulfilled.
For example: No magic, no starships (yet), so we need a projector.

We need and want drama, we need it to satisfy our basic emotional responses. We want it in order to feel empathy.
To remind us why we are doing what we are doing. In that perfect world this hippy scribbler indirectly demands, we will soon suffer from a lack of empathy, as there is no suffering, thus we become indifferent.
That’s were drama comes in.
In the world we live in right now, we need drama to remind us that there are solutions to things. To hone our empathy, and transport that empathy from the play (etc.) out into the real world.

Theatre (and so on) satisfies our need for human interaction, even if we are a social introvert, we are still hardwired to NEED it, and this is a basic need served. An introvert who can’t speak to people, still can feel (empathy wise) the entire emotionrange due to these projections.

So you god damn hippy, we need theatre (and so on), as escapism, as honing for our empathy, as distraction, as levitation, as projection. We need to dream, to hope, to aim, to reflect, to think, but also to shut down our mind and let things unfold without us interfering.
For thousands of years there was theatre as entertainment in one way or another.
Denying that it is a basic human need to entertain and be entertained, is even more crippling to society and our development,than injustice, wars and lunacy together.

With that said, here the stumbling block:

CreepyTake care, peace
A.

PS: Yes, she looks like something lifted from a creepypasta…

The Organic Farm

Well, they had a party and an open invitation at a “local” organic farm.

So we went there.

If I disliked “organic” before, I officially hate that crap now.

Basic semantics aside (EVERYTHING is organic/biological, if it weren’t, it would’ve oozed into our reality from some other universe) I believe i cracked their secret.

Class A goods (for example Apples) are sent off to stores as normal goods.
B grade and less qualified products are covered in dirt and grime, called “organic”, and sold for a fortune! Although it’s just the regular crap, just slightly less A grade.

Thanks to an Ex of mine I know how pork tastes sometimes.
As a city boy I knew pork only as what most of us know it. But if you buy the cheap pork, you have a certain “porky” flavour to it.
Here my Ex comes into the picture.
She was living in the country side and we occassionally drove by pig farms. You know that porky flavor?
IT’S PIG SHIT!
That’s the intense, rural, porky flavor.

I had a pork Schnitzel at the organic farm. Guess what taste was coming through? Right…ORGANIC. Expensive, organic porky, rural, pig shit flavor you get from cheap pork.

Now I also know that I fracking hate hippies!

I agree on their ideals, on the philosophy – but I’d like to strangle them in public!

“Yes, uhm Lemonaid lenonade please.” *barkeep gets it to her* *takes a sip* “This is carbonated! ”
“Yes, it’s lenonade!”
*returns 20 seconds later* “do you have a non refrigerated one, this one’s too cold.”
“Sorry ma’am, they’re stored cold and brought here to be on display in the fridge.”
I would’ve told her to hold it in her hands to warm it up, shake the damn bottle to get rid of the carbon acid, but that would involve “animal” labour, so it wouldn’t be vegan…besides, this crazy nut hat a Ché Guevara face ironed/sewn to the back of her jacket, over her shoulderblade, right where the strap of her bag was tearing on it.
So she is in support of a man who ordered executions on people who did not share his ideals, who ordered non-revolutionary workers to do hard labor in a camp?
Or more likely she’s anti establishment, but doesn’t know jackshit about Ché. Or only the good bits.

Speaking of anti establishment.
You organic nutjobs – you created an INDUSTRY. It is not organic anymore if it has to be driven cross country. The carbon foot print the so called “organic” shit leaves behind is so big that all organic-ness is fading away.
It isn’t possibly organic, if the interests of an INDUSTRY are at stake.

You want organic food?
Farm it!
You can’t, but want it? Find someone who DOES farm it! No, not the supermarket, again, not organic: just the regular shit, covered in dirt.
I mean like a friend. Or a small local farmer.
But not an industry.

Next up, in line at the organic supermarket on site, I see a stand from some woman who looks like she hadn’t seen fun since 1969, and on display, amongst other “goods”, was a DVD:

“We’re not vaccinating!” – well good. I hope you’re going to catch every disease there is a vaccine against. You, your spouse and your kid(s), whom you try and “protect” from poisoning due to vaccination…YOU DIM WITTED BAFOONS!

Don’t any of you dare and say that your kids didn’t get sick. Just DON’T!
There are only vaccinated people around your kid, including you, where should your kid get an infection from? Yes we need the vaccinations to KEEP the current level of infection free societies. Or even to eradicate certain diseases all to gether.
BTW: Vaccines aren’t antibiotics. In NO current vaccine is mercury an ingredient. Vaccines DO NOT cause autism, seizures, cancer, leukaemia or anything else.
Maybe a little fever. Not more.

Your kid is in special school, because your kid has always been that way, not because vaccinations brain damaged your kid.
Period.

If you believe any of the anti-vaccination propaganda, your fault. If you spread it, I believe you deserve to be beaten. If you then say “You people who vaccinate don’t love you children, because you inject them with poison!” I believe we can take custody of your kids away AND beat you.
We love our children and we give them vaccinations BECAUSE we love them. No illnesses should harm our kids. We do not believe in voodoo shit saving our kids from weird viruses.
Look, incense does not ward off viruses, weed helps in pain relief and some other stuff, but not in cases we have vaccines against.
They finally got an ebola vaccination.
If ebola was around you, would you refuse that vaccination too because it is poison?

One final thing about that. (And I know I piss off a lot of people with this, including friends of mine) If ANYONE tries to tell you ebola and aids are lies and they are only sideffects of vaccinations – lunacy. If someone says that ebola and HIV are developed viruses from some (US)lab – plausible.
Stupid and paranoid, but at least plausible.

No. Stop resisting, and show that you love your kids, and get them vaccinated against all the diseases that might end their lives or cause them misery (measels, rota, mumps, small pocks, and so fracking on).

Conclusions:
No more organic farms for me.
No organic lies for me.
No hippies around me.
Take care, peace!
A.

T minus 3

RAINBOWS!!!Rainbow faucet/showerhead.

Keeping with the hippy and shroom tradition, this will blow you into a new layer of consciousness! The LED rainbow showerhead! If you are bored by the dull, ever constant way the water trickles down to your body – here’s a solution for all you kids who were conceived by hippies, and who got used to LSD while in the womb and through breastmilk!

Honestly people, if you spend so much time in the shower you need soothing colors to take your mind to a new dimension – you have more pressing concerns to occupy your mind with….like paying the water bills! You’d have to work three jobs, AND prostitute yourself to maintain your shower bills, and you need more shower time to wash off that dirty feeling.
A viscous circle.

The ideal gift for your beloved Ex, make her feel the beautiful pain of rainbows…