Posts tagged ‘holiday’

Vacation. 

Sorry to bore you guys and gals with my vacation stuff, but it is inevitable. Even weirdos like me go on vacation with the wife and kid. 


There’ll be hiking.


There’ll be waters. 


In case the weather decides to present us with an english summer,


I come prepared!
I don’t know if I’ll be able to supply you with new and exciting material while away. So I had prepared this little assembly of adventure for you.

Take care, A.

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Vacational post

Okay folks, the moment you all have hoped for has finally arrived. 

I’m on vacation. 

No (pseudo) witty commentary, no hostility, no (pseudo) intellectual rattling on about nonsense that isn’t an issue anywhere in the universe, but here.

Today, you’re free!

But I’ll be back. In the meantime, enjoy a few snapshots of Oberlaa, a nice public park here.

In a gadda da vida. 🙂

(And yes, it was constructed in the sixties.)

Take care,
A.

Cabin of Death under repair.

“Dear tenants, please notw that from the 2nd of May until the 12th of May 2016 this elevator willbe offline, due to maintenance and repair. We are sorry for the inconvenience.”

Alright.
I am not burning down the house.
Yet.

I live on the 6th floor, or the 7th if you can’t count right (a.k.a. American), which means on a normal weekday I go down once in the morning, and ideally, up once in the afternoon. If there’s an “emergency” more often in both directions.

This time span includes a weekend, a holiday and a banking holiday. I hope that am all ten days from rhe earliest hour possible, until the latest possible, there will be men (amd women?) laboring hard to improve our technological standard and safety.
Because of not, I will become irked.
And then I will burn shit.
So I leave the house at 6am, there better be a bunch of schmucks greeting me with a smile and greasy faces ready to weld something, including the banking day, and holiday.
Or you turn the darn thing back on during the four day weekend you and your lazy jerkoffs are going to take, now are you?

I know, they will not be turning it on, and I know, they will not be working from 6am till 10pm, but at least I was able to let off some steam…

Take care, and steer clear of elevators…
A.

Crappy Easter 2/4

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Don’t you love itnhow he stands there all like “Bitch always undercooks the eggs.” While she looks as if she laid them herself, colored them to resemble the Irish flag, and seems to ask herself – in a moment of self awareness – why she’s holding this crap, a bunny can’t cook irish sparrow eggs, “you little snottlet”.

So 20 euros for one of the soulsnatching, demon hatching, oirish Bunnies from hell, with an attitude.
Nope. I think not.

Crappy Easter 1/4

It is that yime of the year again, the one where the highest Christian holiday is taking place!

Yes, you read that right. This one is the highest Christian holiday, not that disturbing massdelusion of consumerism in December (for which I still need to make an index).

Anyhow, let us celebrate today’s alleged crucifixion of Jesus Christ, by carrying around colored eggs in this abominable paper trashbag

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In all honesty, the transfixed stare this bag sports, paired with the small, but definitely recognisable smirk is more the stuff of nightmares, than glee and joy. Better keep it away from the kids, unless your little snowflakes from hell are already psychologically disturbed little demon spawns…

Life ain’t that hard, Social Media

If you’re a lowlife cretin who should be bludgeoned to death with a balloon animal for the following, or parts of it:

-Posting quarter hourly updates on yourself, or
-Reposting loud images (with often incorrect shite in them) from all over the place,
-Interspersed with invites to some shitty games that no one cares for and everyone wants to cut your hands off for playing
-Liking a crapzillion of pages, and thus spreading their filth
-Logging in at every corner you visit

then fret not, for it is simple, thou shalt follow these basic decency & behavior commandments for social media:

1. Logeth in and checketh out.
This means, read other people’s posts first, before boldy blaring out your status, which no one really cares for. 

2. Thou may engage in reactions.
If you want to, you can react to someone else’s post(s). That is the social part of social media. You are not the star, just another schmuck, those are not your fans, but, supposedly, your friends. Interact, mingle, comment.

3. Thou mayeth post.
Post one, maybe two, status updates per day. TOPS! Only in emergency situations (f.e. toppling an oppressive government) is it okay to forgo this limit.

4. Thou shalt not RePost!
Just, don’t. Unless it is really important (really occuring revolutions, missing people, rabid bears or pedophiles, etc.)

5. Enough pictures.
Enough babies, enough cats, enough boobs and asses. Go to a special interest group/site if you want to see or share this, but the general public doesn’t care for any of that.

6. Moar of ye olde Pictures!
If you’re too young to remember boring slideshows of other people’s holidays, ask your parents, or grandparents how frigging boring that was. Want to share your holiday experience? One to Five pictures which highlight the best of it, will do, if someone is genuinely interested in more, they’ll ask. (Ahahahaha!!!)

7. Enough with the liketh!
Not everything you encounter in life needs a like online!
Bands, artists, celebrities, etc. Yes.
Brands, products, politicians, websites, etc. No!

8. Playeth with thineself.
No one cares for your geese or your jewels or your candy – if anything we’d like to see you buried under a mountain of that stuff. Keep it to yourself!

9. Logeth out.
Yes, the dreaded end of one’s participation in social idiocy.
Listen, don’t stay online for hours and hours more, having the media site track your every movement out there. Don’t be the intelectually malnutritioned fool, that is taking all their knowledge from the lopsided soup that is your prefered newsfeed. Controversy, disagreeing opinions those are NURTURING the mind, sharpening it. LOG OUT!

And the grand finale!
10. Thou shalt not reveal thine location!
Stop giving away your location! Just, no! We don’t care where you are, nor should you care where the others are. If they’re near you, but won’t see you, guess what? They don’t like you! Stop checking in from the pub at the corner of my block. Get lost creep.

It is a little extensive, so here’s the print out version:

1. Logeth in and checketh out.
2. Thou may engage in reactions.
3. Thou mayeth postonce or twice daily.
4. Thous shalt not RePost!
5. Enough pictures
6. Moar of ye olde Pictures!
7. Enough with the liketh!
8. Playeth with thineself.
9. Logeth out.
10. Thou shalt not reveal thine location!

Glue it next to your screen, make it your phone’s lock screen – what ever it takes for you to stop this crap!

Get your silly acts together, stop making social media asocial places, that are more a sewer than a place of interaction.

As always, take care,
A.

It ain’t even August yet!

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But yet, this is in stores RIGHT NOW!

So, five months in advance: Merry Christmas!

Here’s the two Advent calendars so far, enjoy!

2013: http://wp.me/p2TFL9-oa
2014: http://wp.me/p2TFL9-ily