Posts tagged ‘humour’

Senility?

Who is this for?
Alzheimer’s patients on Facebook? People with bad memory?
Has senility become widespread among the Facebook community??

Not even people with attention deficit disorder need a fucking reminder of LAST MONTH!

I got this literally on the first of December, I can’t POSSIBLY be nostalgic about LAST MONTH!
Which ended THE DAY BEFORE!

Come back in a year or ten. Or never.

Morons.

Take care,
A.

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2. Advent 2017

If you thought the whole Fox shit had died down years ago, you were wrong.
What does the fox say?
“K… kill me, please”, apparently. 

This tree ornament is what mad artists leave behind instead of suicide notes.
Moments after finding their mangled and pureed cadavers, everything is made worse when this gem is discovered.

In other words the perfect gift for all your needs.

Crappy Christmas.

No fap

There is something I don’t get about this.

Why are you making this public??

Seriously?

Jacking off doesn’t take ANYTHING away from you. It doesn’t hamr you, or anyone else in your life. If your taste in porn is so disgusting that you feel ashamed, now that is another topic. If you’re into illegal shit, that is a REAL problem, but the overall majority of the airheads out there are doing NoFap for utter no reason.
Not fapping doesn’t give you superpowers, it doesn’t improve your stamina, or health. It is utter nonsense.

But! And this needs to be said, just like Veganism or Religion, if it makes you happy – good for you. BUT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!

Holy fucking moses!
That these things need to be said!
How would you feel if I started to blog REGULARLY about being a ProFap-Carnivorian-Hardcoreatheist? If I came here every week and started to preach to you the benefit of waxing the surfboard at least twice a day, intermissioned with large amounts of meat and defying god in every religion on the planet?

Perhaps that’d get my view up? Controversy attracts people…hmmm….I gotta go, and rethink my blog.

Take care,
A.

1. Advent 2017


Collectable Puppet “Toni”.

Frighten the ever loving shit out of every person that sets eyes on this. Be it gift receiver, or just plain old visitor, this is sure to let everyone know that they’re dealing with a heart- and soulless vicious devourer of life, love, hopes, and dreams. 
Any person unwrapping this will make the unmistakably tormented face of a person faking joy, when they’d rather had gotten socks.

Merry Crapmas!

Life as a knight is not easy you know?

Sure, on occasion you can chill out under the blueberries on occasion.

But the rest of the time?
There’s other knights.

There’s the black duckling of the hidden brown water Loch.

The giant coo of radiator grill.

The unmelting Snømån of the wooden plains.

Nihilistic children…

I was at the playground with my son the other day, and while playing with him I overheard the most nihilistic thing I had ever heard. Especially from a kid.

Nothing is really fun or beautiful

(I am paraphrasing, as it needed translation)

With a kid like that you don’t need to save for college, but for therapy. The boy was around five or six years old and just blurted that line out. On the fucking playground. 

What is that kid’s outlook on life? Starting fires in daycare a year down the road because only the flames provide some warmth? Holy shit. 

Drag the kid to the therapist, medicate him before he’s full on psychotic! What are those parents reading him for bedtime? The collected works of Lovecraft?? This kid needs some serious help!

Thankfully no arson was committed that day. No sacrifice to the deep ones. Just playing on the frakking playground. 

For now. Because remember, nothing is really fun our beautiful. 

Take care (of your psycho kids),
A.

Crappy Halloween 2017

Holy fucking pumkin on fire!

Normally I’m quite fond of owls, but this abomination had stared into the abyss too long, is now the devourer of souls, as the abyss is staring through your soul, seeing you more exposed than naked.

Decorate your house with this, the kids won’t be frightened away, but will be tormented until eternity ends. Gift this, and you can strike one name off your list of enemies.

Crappy Halloween.