Posts tagged ‘humour’

Election Day 

Today is election day.
No shit, Sherlock! It isn’t as if I had been looking forward to seeing an end of all these talks, interviews and all the other campaign bullshit. It isn’t as if I’m singing “Their smiling faces, give me diarrhea” in my head, everytime I see one of these mutant grimaces flashing their teeth at me…

Someone please tell those 2,948 people that they’re morons! Oooh you did a grown up thing? Bravo!
You want a hug? A participation ribbon? A trophy? Some candy?
Fuck you!
What’s next? “I drove to work.” Give that person a medal! “I brushed my teeth!” I sense a Nobel prize winner here…

You’re supposed to vote! That is what a responsible adult living in a democracy does. All this passive aggressive “I voted” crap is empty vapid ego jerking, for the votee to feel superior. To whom?
Non voters. Guess how much of a flying fuck they give about the “I voted” bunch.
Exactly. So….
Fuck. Off.

See election info?
SEE ELECTION INFO???
If you’re eligible to vote, and you need to be educated on HOW, WHERE, WHY, and WHAT concerning this current election, ON ELECTION DAY – do us all a solid, and do not vote.
You imbecilic cunts are the reason this system is broken. For you, there should be a non-participation ribbon/trophy “To dumb to vote, so I didn’t.”

All in all, Facebook, bugger off. Leave politics alone.
Users create and discuss and participate in politics, but you ought to be neutral and STFU.

Take care.

PS: I voted. Give me validation!

[This was written on 15th October 2017.]

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Cooking pro-tips III

Real men drink responsibly, just one vessel per day…

Crappy Birthday in September 

Quite literally. 

For the city dwellers who can’t get enough of that sweet, sweet guano producing fowl that is ever omnipresent in urban areas the world over. 

Pigeons. 

Fathered crap bags. Cast in stone…or clay. 

“It reminded me of you.” Normally this can be a quite romantic line, but with this, you can tell a yuppie what you think of them. Urban crap bag. Ucrab. 

Crappy Birthday! A.

Cooking Pro-Tips II

 For real men there’s no such thing as too much cocoa.

Thirty years later…

 For real men there’s no such thing as too much coffee.

Cooking pro-tips I

Real men don’t cry cutting onions, they make onions cry.

Happy Anniversary.

The Voyager probes were launched before I was born. Five years before I was born. 

When I grew up during the 80s and 90s they beamed back scientific insight and observations about our solar system, pictures and measurements, hard evidence and knowledge, that I would come to read in textbooks that I devoured. 

They humbled us. By giving us a glimpse of our world from so far away, that this place, ask these places, were a mere pixel, a mote of dust.

They empowered us. By being the farthest man made objects in space. (Until they find a a Viking ship sailing the interstellar medium I guess.) By teaching us. 

They enabled us. By making subsequent missions a possibility. Juno, Cassini-Hyugens, New Horizons. All these would not have happened, our at least not in the way they happened, without the Voyager probes.

Their mission, ongoing as it is today, is vital for our understanding of the universe, and our place in it, as well as it is inspiring. 

Go boldly, Voyagers, where no man (made object) has gone before.

A.

PS: It’s my birthday today. 

Crappy Birthday in August 2017

Got that detestable garbage human Hipster scum in your circle of acquaintances?

Their birthday is coming up?

PERFECT!

These revolting socks are the perfect gift, for a perfect asshole. They will surely like it, because it is before they are cool, because they’ll never be cool. And these socks a shining (or screamingly loud) warning beacon. 

Warn others. Gift these socks.

Crappy Birthday.
A.