Posts tagged ‘idiots’

People are obnoxiously dumb (n-th part)

Last week we had seen the garden expo. Part of it at least. 

Later my wife wanted to leave a review of the place on their Facebook page. Where she found a review from some woman that had visited the same day. 

Don’t try to find the post, it has since been deleted. (But we have screenshots)

A little context before I paraphrase. Here (as probably all over the northern hemisphere) cottonwood blossoms right about this time of year, releasing their seeds into the wind – hundreds of thousands of little woolly drifters floating with every gust of wind, covering grass, shrubs and playground. My primary school’s yard had these fuckers sitting right behind it, so I am accustomed to this stuff. 

This lady gave a 4 star review, subtracting one star because of these cottonwood floaters. Arguing in the discussion my wife started with her that it is an absolute horror for allergics visiting the garden expo. 

Let that reason sink in for a moment.

Cottonwood floaters are a nightmare for allergics visiting the GARDEN EXPO.

I am an allergic. When I said “Yes, let’s go to the garden expo” I anticipated that I will be suffering.
A lot of the shit on display is BLOOMING. If you are an allergic and you’re surprised that the garden expo, at the end of May, is giving you a hard time without your antihistamines – how are you still alive?

These are the same people who bitch about a sea cruise that when they looked out the window, they only saw the ocean, AND that they got seasick.

Just thought I’d share this little gem of idiocy with you.

Take care,
A.

Advertisements

People who…

…deserve a free surprise hysterectomy.

Pseudo-Feminists who say shit like this woman:

fb_img_1475565567775-1.jpg

Well.
All people out there who think like this, should IMMEDIATELY be taken into hospitals and sterilised, we need to ensure that these “people” never reproduce.
Ever.

Just like those people in China and India (or any place in the world in fact) who abort female fetuses, or murder female babies right after birth.

If you mistreat (or outright murder) your baby just because it has the wrong genitalia, you need to be sterilised, and the kid (if still alive) taken from you.

You are the reason why we as a species are held back. You are (part of) the problem, not the solution.
You are, in all meanings of the word, a subcreature.

Take care, and if you know anyone with such an extremely sexist stance (there is NO reverse sexism, it is sexism, plain and simple. Deal with that fact!), beat them.
Regularly.
Severely.
A.

PS: if the individual above turns out to have been framed, I want to apologise in advance. But in this day and age extremists like that DO exist.

Life ain’t that hard, elections.

There has been an election in my country recently, I’m sure you heard.

I am not here to comment on the outcome, there are far better qualified people to do so. 
But I had the opportunity to observe insanity take on a new form.

No not the candidates whoring themselves out at every possible opportunity, nor the fact that one looks like a molding armadillo the other like a skinned weasel greased in oil.

It’s people taking pictures of their ticked (marked) ballots and posting them on social media!
So they are not just partaking in a democratic process, but also in mindless self-affirmation – getting “Bravos” from like minded folks, and pissing off the community of the opposing side.
Some even took the sweet time to strike through the other candidate(s). Wasting their own time, that of the people waiting to get into the voting booth, that of the people sitting there who in the end would have to count the clumsy attempts that made it impossible to scan electronically and have it counted that way.

Look people, life ain’t that hard, even in when voting in an election. It’s rather easy, here:

0. If you live in a proto-dictatorship you have to register to vote instead of being eligible to vote by default.
1. Go to the place where you can cast your vote. (Note: In a free and truly democratic country you need to show your ID to prevent voter fraud.)
2. You get a ballot and an envelope to take to the voting booth. (Note: No booth? Call inter-/national TV News, a booth will magically appear.)
3. Tick the box/circle next to the favored choice. Mostly there’s more than two choices (except in proto-dictatorship countries or special elections), so make sure you actually mark the right one.
4. After stuffing the ballot into the envelope, leave the booth and put it in the locked ballot box. (Note: if the lock is missing, or open, call inter-/national TV News and the police, take pictures of it, mail those to newspapers!)
5. You’re done! Take your ID, and the great feeling of having participated in a democratic process, go home and reward yourself with some icream or a prolonged jerk-off marathon.

No snapping pictures of your ballot. No drawing or writing on your ballot.
No anything except the TL;DR version of above list: Go in, tick a circle, stuff in box, leave.
Saves you time and effort, saves those coming in after you time and nerves, everyone wins.

Please do note: You can of course watch the first election results trickling in on the special news shows that day, but let me ask, why the hassle?
You have cast your vote. Everything else in this election, is now OUT OF YOUR HANDS!
Take a drink in a fancy bar, go out and eat, visit a brothel, inspect the crawlspace of your home. Have fun, or be productive.
But don’t sit there like a moron and watch the results as if you had to leave the country with hastily gathered belongings otherwise. If it has come to that point a wise person would go to vote, and then leave the fountry preemptively.

The next day, or two days later, the results will be final. Your nerves have not been stressed out, you had a relaxing day, and can take the news more relaxed that the shitheads you least wanted almost took over.

Take it easy. Life ain’t that hard.

Take care,
A.

Mommy blogs!

Or joint parent blogs.

I have never indulged in the activity of reading these insipid, driveling wastes of insignificantly minute storage space on the net.
First off, I’m not the target audience – a mom, and secondly these blogs almost never have any value.

You’re not gaining some new insight on how to “parent”, that you didn’t get from being one, or having one. There is not enough substance to these vapid excuses of brain leakage, that would permit wasting time on reading them. Or just one.
Same goes for 99% of these so called “parenting magazines”, with articles so empty you are left to wonder why these sniffling shits aren’t writing speeches for politicians.
If it weren’t for product testing – including lab tests for hazardous materials – these magazines would be worth less than ink and paper, separately, used to make this glossy kindling.
I digress.

Mommy (b)logs are used by the mommy bloggers to make the simplest most mundane task look like a deed more heroic than the deeds of all Marvel and DC superheroes combined.
Mommy dearest breastfeeds her baby despite it being four and will continue to do so, until the kid enrolls in college. She carries the child in a sling, although her shoulders are bleeding, claiming “her indigo crystal child needs the intimacy, closeness and prolonged bonding,” although the brat is clearly old enough to fracking walk, or even go on prolonged hikes.
Great job.

Vegan, gluten-, lactose-, sugar-, and fat-free is an added “burden”, because it creates a (selfimposed) martyrdom to raise a child this way, with relatives and friends and doctors(!) telling them that it is absolute BS.

Adding to that, they hallow their “parenting” (and thus themselves) even more, if they are absolute nutjobs who think science and medicine are evil and thus they raise desease ridden, virii spreading little snotballs who run from vaccines and pills like they stole something.
But hey, they raise kids who are “all natural”. (Despite humans being omnivores, not herbivores, and our very existence outside of Africa is unnatural, but that’s not the issue here.)

That’s another staple of mommy bloggers.
The absolute glorification of the natural, and nature, ignoring the cold, logical, harsh and mindblowing truth that EVERYTHING is perfectly natural, unless some shit comes oozing into this universe through some rift in the space-time continuum.

But these narcissistic, ego driven, professional parents and breeders probably have lactated away all the brain cells necessary for rational and coherent thought, thats why all these blogs (or magazines) are shallow, pitifully dumb, meaningless drivel. People who read or write mommy blogs are people who have picture frames with the words “Friends”, “Family” and especially “Selfies” at home. For this is just another of the “Give me attention, because I am” cases, like the Selfie-people .

If you ever happen to strand on a Mommyblog, take it for what it is, snot. If you stare at the screen for too long thinking that a deeper meaning would peel out of this mindless conglomeration of letters and words, your eyes will roll back in your skull and they will find you, once your bills go unpaid, as a half rotten corpse in front of a computer that burned down in self pity.

Take care, and don’t read mommy blogs, they are an insult on the very words making them up (“mommy” and “blog”), as sell as an insult to anyone thinking.
A.

What the actual leap?

Are you people kidding me?

2016 has been a leap year. Big deal, every four years we have one. That is common knowledge.

Yet I can’t wrap my head around the fact that everywhere, literally EVERYWHERE, people and organisations took it upon themselves to celebrate the 29th (of February) like it was the second coming of christ! Even Ikea, IKEA, posted a picture of a table with a fifth leg in the center with the caption “If the leap year was a table”.

What happened?
Did we collectively drop a few IQ points since 2012 and slip into the category of people with special needs? (Which is just a PC way of me asking whether we all got retarded as a society)

There are two kinds of people who can be legally oblivious to leap years and the concept behind them. One are people living in another calendar system. The other group is kids, who can and will ask their parents and/or teachers.

If anyone of age old enough to vote, join the army, drive or purchase tobacco/alcohol has NO concept of why we have leap years – I want them to be given a legal guardian and their rights for all the aforementioned things revoked.
Why?
Because these people clearly have no capability of abstract thought, and thus, if they can’t get behind such a simple and selfexplanatory concept such as leap years, they pose a severe threat to our soceity if they’re let lose on voting booths, armed, drunk and behind the wheel.

So it is baffling to me that we were treated to articles and videos á mass with titles like “Neil deGrasse Tyson explains leap years here” “Michio Kaku explains why we have leap years” “This is why we have leap years” “Why do we have leap years” “This is the reason why…” and so on.
Then we have all the celebratory shit. A local radiostation treating it like they did us a service for even showing up to work that day. Facebook congratulated me saying that every four years we get an extra day and I should make the most of it!
Listen here you fuckheads, I try to make the most of EVERY day. Just because there is an extra day in the calendar (which is a human concept and has no connection to the reality of “days” or even “years”)  I won’t just drop my efforts and be depressed for a day. Nor do I need special encouragement.

There wasn’t that much fuzz about this shit in 2012, and that leaves but one conclusion. In exactly four years, our society, if not the entire species, got dumber.

This is terrifying, and disturbing. In 2020 we will probably be dancing to a 29th February hymn, and clap the leap year.
Let’s hope the terrorists win….

As always, take care, and if you prefer the terrorists on the losing end like me, educate people. Especially your kids. If you don’t have the answers, stop homeschooling them and send them to REAL teachers.
A.

Beating the Hippies – Galactic Federation of Light

For a long time we have asked “Are we alone in the universe?”, well,
I have the answer.
There are Aliens out there, and they are just like us. I have irrefutable proof that they exist.

But not in the way you may think.
Let me explain.

There is a group of adults, believing in the existence of the “Galactic Federation of Light”.
Supposedly the federation was founded 4 Million years ago, to keep the darkness or evil in our galaxy at bay.
Then back in our 1995 they made peace with a coalition of former enemies (including “teh 3vil” reptilians called the “Anunaki”).

How does this benevolent, technologically superior federation of thousands of star systems, that has fleets upon fleets of ships waiting around our solarsystem, zipping about the universe, communicate with us?
Do they send Radiosignals?
No.
Do they send Light pulses?
No.
Do they send Microwave transmissions?
No.
Do they use Quantum Entanglement?
No.
Are they frequently landing?
No.
Are they just hacking directly our internet?
Also, no.

They are being channeled through/by some mediums.
Just picture Deana Troy, sitting on the Bridge of the Enterprise D, communicating mentally with Talaxians in the Delta Quadrant, turning to Captain Picard telling him that the federation needs to help them out of their predicaments – and you’re there.
That is how this is working.

Any alien race capable of interstellar (-galactic) telepathic communication, would NEVER leave their homeplanet. They would discover shit in space by siphoning off knowledge from other races, if their curiosity is tickled, they’d send them there, without the space faring races ever getting a clue: “Hey Bob, I had an idea last night in a dream, let’s go over to that patch of space, I am feeling curious today!”
“Thats a radioactive nebula, Steve.”
“Exactly! Let’s go.”

To avoid extinction by some catastophe, they might hitch a ride on a ship, transporting them to a pristine world where they set up camp and continue staring off into the sky with a blank expression, after wiping the memory of their ferrymen.

But the people believing in the Galactic Federation of Lunies have not stopped there.
Not allnof the former enemies, are “former”, they are continuing their evil doing.
The shapeshifting reptilians that are still evil, are in Earth’s New World Order, but the GFoL is here to help.
They neutralise Chemtrails, clearup Oilspils and Nuclear radiation, counteract Nanotechnology in vaccines (!) as well as HAARP and so on and so forth.

Okay…?

So the fans of the GFoL (the ‘mediums’) have made pictures of these (immortal?) people from the GFoL…the humanoids of course. These are “pretty” people, drawn as if a twelve year old makes her first attempts at art by drawing her favorite manga/anime characters in an over all unsatisfactory manner. (Not that I could do it any better, but I ain’t drawing this crap telling everyone “That’s exactly what theu look like”)
But then there are people asking in earnest if that’s a real picture, or just a drawing/fake.
Are you kidding me? ARE YOU FRACKING KIDDING ME??
(Please note, when I was a wee lad I too thought “human person” when I heard “humanoid” on Star Trek, and was puzzled when an alien showed up, but now I know; BTW some of the drawings are expertly drawn, and I can’t shake the feeling that one of the people drawing for the Mormons defected to the GFoL crowd)

Listen, if some crazy guy sat down and said, that during a night of heavy mushroom abuse he built an apparatus with which he could communicate with the federation, unfortunately it broke after that one night – unlikely, and I’d still be doubt filled, but it’s a little closer to home. Instead we’re supposed to trust the ramblings of a few people about channellings?
Suuuure.
This is the level of psychosis you get when you take a right angled turn during a reality check.
Trust me, I’ve been there, it is not a happy place. They try to lure you in, like the men with the candy and puppy in the van.

The galactic Fed’s are also against barcodes and/or RFID chips, out of “fear” that we humans could get chipped – listen space elf, if you can fight vaccine-nanotech, HAARP, nuclear weapons, Chemtrails, and Fukushima radiation, without ever setting foot on this planet, you can turn off RFIDs remotely in under a second. Okay? Good.

All in all I can say only ome gpod thing about these people and their psychotic breakdown that is GFoL – at least their time scale is possible in this universe, unlike some other psychotic garbage. ahemxenuahem

Hey people, the universe called, it told me a secret, it is expanding, so it can get further away from you idiots.
With the expansion and growing age of the universe, more and more aliens out there reach the same level of development as we have, and that is why the universe expands faster and faster and faster. To get away from all these idiots as fast and far as possible.
Told I’ve got proof.
And I solved another mystery of physics – why the universe speeds up in its expansion.

Take care, and beat a hippie.
A.

PS: “Dear A., why is this in the BTH category? Sincerly, some1”
Hi some1, easy, google the GFoL, look at the pages. Love, light, peace, the grand motifs of the GFoL. Hippies. Space hippies.
Look at the colors these people use for their GFoL pages, and pictures – if that isn’t weed or even acid fueled IDK.
So, today, it is not BTH, but BTSH – Beat the space hippies…

Love, A.

Irregular Update 12th November 2015

It’s mid november, and the temperatures are unusually warm here.

Like spring.
Late spring.

But that is not the reason for this post. It’s an update on stuff! With out further talk, here we go!

• Writing. I’m happy to inform you that my new project, which is essentially last year’s NaNoWriMo project, is looking good. It’s progressing, and taking shape. As with Rings of Fate (which will start to go online in January 2016), I have decided to write it in concise episode format (splitting each episode up into 3-4 parts when posting it), so three episodes are already finished.

Can’t wait for it to go online once it’s finished (we’re talking about late 2016, or even much later with this, so don’t hold your breath)

•Advent Calendar. Oh bjoy! Almost there – both timewise and creating it, just missing three entries, and those will be up there soon enough too, and you will be able to regurgitateenjoy!

•Moar X-Mess crap. Starbucks made the red cups. And people are losing their shit over it. Why on earth is this a thing? Are you retarded? You’re behaving like six year olds who want reindeer, snowflakes, trees and santa on it, instead of a civilised, stylish plain red wrap showing the matching green Starbucks logo. Get your shit together, it’s not war against christmas, it’s war against senseless kitsch. Take your reindeer, trees, santas, angles, snowflakes, snowmen and stars and shove it!
Grow up you imbeciles!

 

That was it for the time being, I hope you have a great Movember, a successful NaNoWriMo and generally a good time, as always,
Take care,
A.