Posts tagged ‘insane’

Nuthouse

Not quite yet, but close to it.

Taking a break from my usual posts, another one with just a picture and some text excusing my state of mind…

Cheers.

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The final nail in the coffin…

You don’t? I do. Because they’re shit. They do nothing for you, they don’t create “awareness”, they just look idiotic. Note to the guys: Combat feminist. She’ll neuter you with those slings. Run!

But this “individual” (in quotation marks because I don’t want to imply this is a sane person) isn’t alone in her abuse of taste. 


Hottest trend? HOTTEST TREND?? I would refer you to a doctor to get that nasty fungus treated if you showed up with this crap in my vicinity! 

Note to the guys: desperate man trap, or (criminally) insane. Run!


The fidget spinner trend seems to die down finally. Anyone with this crap on their nails wouldn’t be able to use a spinner anyway, plus they would look a proper fool. Note to the guys: if a girl (abd it wouldn’t be a woman) had those nails – jail. Too young to be legal, or mentally handicapped to the point where her consent doesn’t count. Run!
Hope this had been informal and entertaining. 

Take care, A.

Life ain’t that hard, Chemtrails (beating the hippies)

Listen you dipshit Hippy scum.

If there WAS an evil ploy to reduce the ever growing number of people on this heating ball of dung, or reduce them to drooling halfwits, there’d be easier ways to do so: Feeding laxatives to city pigeons, decaffeinating ALL the coffee on the face of the earth, lacing the watersupply with Meth, removing the warning labels from ALL the things thus letting the problem solve itself, feeding plants to livestock that are harmless to them but will kill us if we eat them or their milk.

You get the picture.

But NO diabolic, Doomlord would make his (or her) sinister attempts at poisoning/controlling the docile population THIS obvious.

Don’t start on the whole “hiding it in plain sight” argument, it’s moot from the get go. You lobotomised halfpeople rave on and on like rabid baboons about evil chemtrails. They’d be found out if it was true.

The additional fact that in a closed ecosystem like earth you can’t spread chemicals just on ONE place moots the entire project further. all those people involved would poison themselves. Their friends, relatives too.

Pathetic.

Now. find a new boogieman to be frightened of, a new tree to bark up. But stop this no brainer of a still-born idea that chemtrails are a thing.

Take care you sods.

A.

Battling pt.1

(Wish I could sit there right now…)​
As I am battling with severe depression and all it’s crippling consequences, I find myself unable to uphold a vigorous schedule.

So my (depression driven) humour, my spite and bile for the idiocy of the world, will have to pause.
On occasion.
If I can’t finish a Friday post on time that is.

Just to let you folks know in advance, I am not certain if the advent calendar will be finished this year. If I am unable to come up with 24-25 (plus one for NYE) items, there will be a ‘five specials’ programme instead:
Celebrating the last four weeks before Christmas, plus Christmas.
Regardless! There will be no new RoF in December, or January! (Details well follow)

Until such time. Feel free to help a crazy person out of a dark place, by dropping a like, or a comment, from time to time. Ain’t got nothing against freeloaders, but some gratitude would be fine, at least from time to time.

Take care,
A.

Life ain’t that hard,

brushing your Teeth!

In the beginning of human civilisation, or even pre-civilisation, humans were chewing on small twigs to clean their teeth.
Maybe they were from some special bush/tree, with a slightly antiseptic bark or something.

Times were easy in the dental care department, but then again, back yonder you seldomly outlived the ripe old age of 30, and thus didn’t need a good dental plan.

Fast forward a couple of thousand years, enter the toothbrush and -paste era.
For decades, if not a century and more, we did brush our teeth in a very efficient way, and many people got to keep their original teeth past their natural expiration date.
Good for them.

Enter the twentyfirst century and the electric toothbrush (I know, it came out before then, but tag along), we are now (hopefully?) doing the essential dental care in an even more efficient way.

But wait! There’s more…

Some of the electric toothbrushes have a sensor to tell you when you’re pushing too hard, and a timer to tell you how long you’ve been brushing (and of course to tell you when you did enough brushing).
I get it, if you want an app for this, that it would be convenient, since people are glued to their screens anyway these days.

But what is the App here doing?

Tracking GPS location, keeping a log and profile of your brushing activities?
This is not a competition, nor are you training for the Olympics in toothbrushing!
There is no need for a profile, a log, and GPS data – especially, considering that GPS signals don’t work so good indoors, and most people brush where?
Indoors!
In a bathroom, somewhere between second and seventyninth floor, in a concrete jungle. Good luck on getting a GPS signal, asshole!

So, to get to the friggin’ point: It ain’t that hard, look. Twice a day, take a toothbrush – electric or not – put toothpaste on it and scrub those bone like little things that sit in your mouth. Scrub ’em good!
After a thorough scrubbing, you’re done. If it was before bed time – no more sugary drinks before morning!
See? Wasn’t that easy?
No need for a GPS tracked log. Just common fracking sense.

Take care,
A.

Patience

Truly is a virtue. A virtue that I am not in possession of.

I have gotten over the aneurysm inducing first parent-teacher conference, and I must say, I marvel at the patience of the Kindergarten teachers, and the braindamage indicating stupidity of the parents.
All of which seem like either left-over Yuppies (Ouppies?) or Alternative-Antivaxxer-Hippies.
Or both.

KGT (Kindergardenteacher): “For the strictly voluntary, weekly Out-Of-The-House-Day supply your kid with a backpack, raincoat, they should wear trousers, don’t pack lunches, and supply a reusable waterbottle, we fill the bottles with the children here.”
Parent1: “The bottle should be empty?”
KGT: “Yes.”
Parent2: “Can we fill them at home?”
KGT: “No. We fill them with the kids, here.”
Parent3: “So, the bottle is supposed to be empty?”

I wonder how these people have made it through the daily gauntlets of life so far.

If I would’ve held that conference I would’ve told them the first sentence. When the first parent asks I would’ve let out a sigh of frustration and stared blankly into the audience: “Listen up. I will say this only once again: Bring an empty bottle that your kid is going to fill up with water. Here. With us. You do not fill it yourselves, we and the kids do. If any of you are dimwitted enough to be confused by this simple task, LEAVE! Leave now, your kids will be taken into custody of the state, your drivers licence will be revoked, and you won’t be permitted to vote, anymore! In fact, you will be given a legal guardian yourself!”

Explaining basic simple crap to toddlers is something that needs to be done.
They’re learning. That is something I can do. Their attention span is about 5 seconds (unless they are supposed not to pay attention to something, then it can’t be deterred).
But their parents get zero tolerance.
These people have had kids, they need to raise these kids. They are holding jobs.
They have a permit to navigate a vehicle of several tons, loaded with said children and several liters of a highly flammable liquid, through populated areas.
They are allowed to vote! Thus, not only ruining the futures of small groups of people, but large groups of people.

And this can’t be tolerated! They need to be as much raised/trained as their kids, the KGT shouldn’t let that shit slip.

So.
After my first almost-breakdown, we went on further down shit road. 

Still on the subject of the voluntary, weekly Out-Of-The-House-Day:
KGT: “We ask the children whether they want to go out and if they don’t want to, they stay inside.”
Parent4 (FRONTROW SEATED!): “Well I was under the impression that my child’s backpack was hardly if ever used last year. Why’s that?”
KGT: ….
In my head: “Did you binge drink before you got here, passed out and didn’t hear jackshit about the entire voluntary part, only waking up due to the ruckus over the bottle? Did you take LSD and fazed out? Don’t ask about the bottle, I dare you! Maybe your little snowflake did not want to go out that much?”

If they were to hold a simple test AFTER the meeting, to see what the parents retained OF the meeting, the results would be catastrophic. Further cementing my idea that such test should be required to vote in election.

Sheetcreek river tours ain’t over yet!

KGT: “By rules and regulations, as well as the law, we are prohibited from administrating any medication on your children. That includes cremes if your child has diaper sore, or homeopathic globuli.”
In my head: “Wahahahahaha, good, my kid shouldn’t eat too much candy anyways!”
KGT: “We can’t even use disinfectants.”
Parent5: “Blood does disinfect anyways.”

What??? Wait! WHAT??? Then why on earth are we doing all this disinfection shit then? Why are there sterile OR tools? This parent solved all of our problems! Doctors, throw away those gloves, ditch that soap amd get to work asap, blood disinfects!

Back on track.
Parent6: “Why don’t you use Octenisept? It has hardly any sideffects, it doesn’t even burn!”
In my head: “Seriously, what kind of drug abuse are you folks partaking in to get to the point of blacking out every five minutes and missing vital shit like PROHIBITED BY LAW? Did you get ANY of that?

KGT: “No. We can’t. Dirt is washed out by the blood flow if it’s a scratch, if the child is bleeding more heavily than a band aid could contain, mwe are calling either you, or an ambulance anyways.
Parent7: “What if the child is bleading too heavy for a band aid?”

I am dead serious, what drugs were you people doing before coming in? And why did I miss the stand where they gave out the free acid or whatever?
I’d rather watch the coffeemachine turn into a dragon guarding my fridge, than go through that shit ever again!

After that the aneurysm inducing parents with the braindamage apparently gave up and kept their mouths shut.

In conclusion I must say, yes, I’d have the patience to deal with a bunch of toddlers, but I lack the tolerance, and the will to deal with a bunch of adults, which are supposedly sane.
My deepes respect to teachers worldwide, kindergarten or otherwise.

Take care,
A

PS: Next parent-teacher conference, I am going to get piss drunk beforehand.

People are fucking nuts.

Just a fun FYI, for once I would like to witness today’s title happening literally. 😉

What drove me to my “highly unusual” conclusion of mass debility?

Amazon, Books and People.

This mixture is odd, you say?
Maybe.
But once you saw that in the top selling books, two coloring books are among the top ranked, you start asking questions.
Like: Are there really that many children around, that these not only are top sellers, but also out of stock, on Amazon? – in short: No.
These books are bought FOR adults.
Colored in BY adults.

That was the moment I took some toilet paper, and wiped off my faith in humanity:

Coloring books for adults.

Are you fraking kidding me? I repeat: Coloring Books. For Adults!

Any potential “calming down” effects aside – you can get that from watching a fire consume the bodies of your enemies – how much more infantile can you get?
Coloring out a fairytale landscape is for five year olds, but not for grown ass people. 

Those are the same kind of people who think the Bible is to be taken literally, who believe Vaccines cause autism, who take channelings from the galactic federation of light seriously, and who take globuli against diabetus!

Coloring frak books, for fracking adults!
And you wonder why extremists want to wipe out western civilisation? There’s the answer. Grownups doing coloring books, and posting it online, while western society is standing by and let’s it happen without a word against it.

If it was one or two mental patients, my mouth would be shut tight. But two entire mental institutions couldn’t buy out the entire amazon.com stock! All of the US, can.
And here I sense the real tragedy – people with access to nuclear weapons (which are controlled by computers using 5inch floppy discs) are doing coloring-books.
Really?
A nation that sent men to the moon fourty-six years ago, is now populated by people who do this stuff for a pass time?
Really?
All you coloring Schmucks, turn to your (great)grandfathers. Look at them. They fought, in a little event called the second world war, Korean war, Vietnam war, and many more. They fought, for you. For your future.
And this is how you repay them? By doing coloring books?
If this was a fad amongst Veterans, who compensate for their PTSD – again, tightly shut pie holeon my part. But this is done by people with no excuse. The Teletubby generation, I presume.

Look numbnuts, if you need to unwind after a long day at work, do what I do – read. Books with words. Let your mind soar, sharpen it, and enjoy what unfolds. One book, one chapter, can give you more images in your head, than an entire library of coloring-books ever could!
But if you have to color in a coloring-book, here’s my suggestion. Do it in secret. Only oncea month, or in (or rather AFTER) very stressful situations – go home. Close all blinds, unhook the phone, turn off TV and internet, drink some wine (Ravenwood’s Zinfandel is recommended), and sit down with your array of 42 color pencils and a fresh page of the coloring book. Then toss that thing in the trash! And draw something that comes to your mind. Something that is truly allowing you to let out some steam! If it is a fiery mess that is eating through your life – doesn’t matter, as long as it let’s out some steam. If it looks like a 3 year old drew it, and your thirty three, doesn’t matter!

But don’t do coloring books, for crying out loud.

Take care, and lay off those coloring books!
A.