Posts tagged ‘media’

Social media ain’t for us

Social networks have turned people into shittier friends.

That’s my conclusion after going off of Facebook and not doing much on Mastodon for a few days.

We have our connections, and acting on the “assumption” that our audience is there, we send something out into the aether and giddily await reactions.

We do not actively seek out our friends: “Hey, how are you? Got time for a coffee to talk about stuff?”
No, we act as if we are on a stage, we await reactions, and we react.
We perform.
We perform the initial action, and we perform the reactions.
It’s the same across all platforms, not just Facebook, but also Mastodon, and of course Instagram, Twitter, MeWe, Tsu and all the other garbage heaps too.

Social networks make us (more) asocial.
Social networks aren’t for us (people).

We are social animals.
We, once, needed the group, the tribe, to survive:
Loners died. Groups thrived.

It is engrained in our genes, that we need a group. Our friends, our family, our tribe, our people.
But because today (read: current times) it is harder to maintain friendships (full time employment, separated by many kilometres, different life choices [f.e. kids vs. no kids], ever shifting and expanding ‘tribal’ landscapes, etc.) we *could* use social media as a crutch, as an add on.

But this add-on has become full on bloat-ware that is now taking over the entire system.

People have shifted their entire lives into social media, they are always on, always available (except when asleep).
Which I find highly disturbing.
Which, incidentally, is only adding to my decision to kill all my Facebook and Google related stuff, and limit my Mastodon time.

If I want to scream into the void and wait for any reactions, I’m doing it on my blog. (Or I’d go to a comedy club on stage.)

But I’m done with social media. It is asocial. It has taught me that.
I noticed that I have become a shittier friend, and I’ve seen this happen to other people as well: Be seen. Be seen seeing.
But I don’t want to be an actor on a stage receiving attention at the speed and value of a Like/Fav/RT/mention/etc.
I want REAL connections; conversations – even digital – but not over an eavesdropping service that finds ways to insert itself and sabotage the entire thing.

No thanks.

Whatever you do out there, take care,
A.

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Life ain’t that hard, Social Media

If you’re a lowlife cretin who should be bludgeoned to death with a balloon animal for the following, or parts of it:

-Posting quarter hourly updates on yourself, or
-Reposting loud images (with often incorrect shite in them) from all over the place,
-Interspersed with invites to some shitty games that no one cares for and everyone wants to cut your hands off for playing
-Liking a crapzillion of pages, and thus spreading their filth
-Logging in at every corner you visit

then fret not, for it is simple, thou shalt follow these basic decency & behavior commandments for social media:

1. Logeth in and checketh out.
This means, read other people’s posts first, before boldy blaring out your status, which no one really cares for. 

2. Thou may engage in reactions.
If you want to, you can react to someone else’s post(s). That is the social part of social media. You are not the star, just another schmuck, those are not your fans, but, supposedly, your friends. Interact, mingle, comment.

3. Thou mayeth post.
Post one, maybe two, status updates per day. TOPS! Only in emergency situations (f.e. toppling an oppressive government) is it okay to forgo this limit.

4. Thou shalt not RePost!
Just, don’t. Unless it is really important (really occuring revolutions, missing people, rabid bears or pedophiles, etc.)

5. Enough pictures.
Enough babies, enough cats, enough boobs and asses. Go to a special interest group/site if you want to see or share this, but the general public doesn’t care for any of that.

6. Moar of ye olde Pictures!
If you’re too young to remember boring slideshows of other people’s holidays, ask your parents, or grandparents how frigging boring that was. Want to share your holiday experience? One to Five pictures which highlight the best of it, will do, if someone is genuinely interested in more, they’ll ask. (Ahahahaha!!!)

7. Enough with the liketh!
Not everything you encounter in life needs a like online!
Bands, artists, celebrities, etc. Yes.
Brands, products, politicians, websites, etc. No!

8. Playeth with thineself.
No one cares for your geese or your jewels or your candy – if anything we’d like to see you buried under a mountain of that stuff. Keep it to yourself!

9. Logeth out.
Yes, the dreaded end of one’s participation in social idiocy.
Listen, don’t stay online for hours and hours more, having the media site track your every movement out there. Don’t be the intelectually malnutritioned fool, that is taking all their knowledge from the lopsided soup that is your prefered newsfeed. Controversy, disagreeing opinions those are NURTURING the mind, sharpening it. LOG OUT!

And the grand finale!
10. Thou shalt not reveal thine location!
Stop giving away your location! Just, no! We don’t care where you are, nor should you care where the others are. If they’re near you, but won’t see you, guess what? They don’t like you! Stop checking in from the pub at the corner of my block. Get lost creep.

It is a little extensive, so here’s the print out version:

1. Logeth in and checketh out.
2. Thou may engage in reactions.
3. Thou mayeth postonce or twice daily.
4. Thous shalt not RePost!
5. Enough pictures
6. Moar of ye olde Pictures!
7. Enough with the liketh!
8. Playeth with thineself.
9. Logeth out.
10. Thou shalt not reveal thine location!

Glue it next to your screen, make it your phone’s lock screen – what ever it takes for you to stop this crap!

Get your silly acts together, stop making social media asocial places, that are more a sewer than a place of interaction.

As always, take care,
A.

People are fucking nuts.

Just a fun FYI, for once I would like to witness today’s title happening literally. 😉

What drove me to my “highly unusual” conclusion of mass debility?

Amazon, Books and People.

This mixture is odd, you say?
Maybe.
But once you saw that in the top selling books, two coloring books are among the top ranked, you start asking questions.
Like: Are there really that many children around, that these not only are top sellers, but also out of stock, on Amazon? – in short: No.
These books are bought FOR adults.
Colored in BY adults.

That was the moment I took some toilet paper, and wiped off my faith in humanity:

Coloring books for adults.

Are you fraking kidding me? I repeat: Coloring Books. For Adults!

Any potential “calming down” effects aside – you can get that from watching a fire consume the bodies of your enemies – how much more infantile can you get?
Coloring out a fairytale landscape is for five year olds, but not for grown ass people. 

Those are the same kind of people who think the Bible is to be taken literally, who believe Vaccines cause autism, who take channelings from the galactic federation of light seriously, and who take globuli against diabetus!

Coloring frak books, for fracking adults!
And you wonder why extremists want to wipe out western civilisation? There’s the answer. Grownups doing coloring books, and posting it online, while western society is standing by and let’s it happen without a word against it.

If it was one or two mental patients, my mouth would be shut tight. But two entire mental institutions couldn’t buy out the entire amazon.com stock! All of the US, can.
And here I sense the real tragedy – people with access to nuclear weapons (which are controlled by computers using 5inch floppy discs) are doing coloring-books.
Really?
A nation that sent men to the moon fourty-six years ago, is now populated by people who do this stuff for a pass time?
Really?
All you coloring Schmucks, turn to your (great)grandfathers. Look at them. They fought, in a little event called the second world war, Korean war, Vietnam war, and many more. They fought, for you. For your future.
And this is how you repay them? By doing coloring books?
If this was a fad amongst Veterans, who compensate for their PTSD – again, tightly shut pie holeon my part. But this is done by people with no excuse. The Teletubby generation, I presume.

Look numbnuts, if you need to unwind after a long day at work, do what I do – read. Books with words. Let your mind soar, sharpen it, and enjoy what unfolds. One book, one chapter, can give you more images in your head, than an entire library of coloring-books ever could!
But if you have to color in a coloring-book, here’s my suggestion. Do it in secret. Only oncea month, or in (or rather AFTER) very stressful situations – go home. Close all blinds, unhook the phone, turn off TV and internet, drink some wine (Ravenwood’s Zinfandel is recommended), and sit down with your array of 42 color pencils and a fresh page of the coloring book. Then toss that thing in the trash! And draw something that comes to your mind. Something that is truly allowing you to let out some steam! If it is a fiery mess that is eating through your life – doesn’t matter, as long as it let’s out some steam. If it looks like a 3 year old drew it, and your thirty three, doesn’t matter!

But don’t do coloring books, for crying out loud.

Take care, and lay off those coloring books!
A.

Shamelessness

Or: Why I suck at marketing

This is about my apparent inability to generate more views or followers for my blog. (Christmas Calendar not withstanding, that time was great, thank you people. Be prepared for X-Mess 2015!)

Let me get one thing out of the way before you shake your head in disgust and surf on: I’m not measuring my success with Likes or Followers.
They give me validation, yes.
But I get much more validation through views.

Why?

I read and watch a lot of stuff on the net, without handing out ‘likes’, yet I’ve read or watched it.
I even come back to read/watch more, culminating in me ‘following’.
This can go on for ages without me handing out a single ‘like’.
Views therefore mean much more to me than the occasional ‘likes’. (“You’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it!”)

This bit is about my apparent inability for shameless self-promotion.
In many groups I have joined online, no matter where (facebook, google+, MeWe, etc.) an Author hirself will show up and be like:

No_one-EvarHeardOf posted: From the acclaimed writer of the brilliant Theobald Quincy Cockburn-Hutzenbrutzen novels, the incandescentMy-Intestines-burn trilogy, comes the new bold part 1 of 5000, in the excitingly fiery series 51 shades of beige!

And I just can’t do that.
No one knows my name, no one gives a frak. So why would, or should, I pretend to be an ‘acclaimed writer’? (Or something similar)
Close to no one (except you brave souls who dare venturing to my blog when a new story part comes out) ever heard of my writings. So citing them as a reference – moot.

I just can’t lie boldly in the face of a potential audience, to garner their interest. If I were to get paid for this, I’d feel like I swindled someone out of their savings! Unlike money, the time, I would steal from my (potential) audience, can not be returned. So I have even greater reservations, from just going online and boldly claim shit, that I think is only true inside my head!

Pride in one’s accomplishments is completely justified, but if you’re a relatively unknown individual – do not assume a title like ‘acclaimed writer’, nor praise your own work as the greatest thing since the pyramids.
That makes you look like a complete Schmuck!

(And that, by the way, is why the Schmucks always get great view counts, good sales and great advertising cash, while most honest writers dwell in dirt, and their schmucky heirs later bathe in cash…or honest Schmoe turns into douchy Schmuck)

Yes, dear readers.
This is the reason why, if you came here following one of my ever repetitive social network posts, or discovered one of them, that post sounded sorta lame, and why there only will be equally lame posts.
I will not dash out there posting “From the fresh new writer yourstruly, comes the deeply philosophical, beloved story: Mr. Zed!”

“From the acclaimed writer of the philosophical Zombie Masterpiece Mr. Zed, here’s the highly brain tingling ‘Whose World’ series!”

Take care, and avoid the flyin bovine waste,
A.

PS: I think what bothers me almost as much as the airborne bovine waste distribution methods (aka Bullshit flyong around), is these people are talking in third person of themselves. Only royals (do I need to go there?) and crazy people do that. I ain’t crazy enough for that. (Yet!)

Stop Scanning! (Comedy)

I hate citrus.
I personally think it is a weak fruit hiding behind a strong aroma. An aroma that makes my teeth hurt when I smell it, and that can peel the paint off walls if used too freely. Other than that there’s nothing to a citrus. Vitamin C levels are higher in a potato or an apple. So the citrus is a weak fruit, without any additional flavour or aroma other than the widely known.

But that ain’t the issue here.

I’m somewhat old school when it comes to the digital department. Not that I’m against the development of new technology, or new social media.
Far from it.

What I loathe is useless crap. No, not bashing google glass, it IS useless, but a nice gadget.
No. I hate the media systems that scan your HD for media.
MP3 players and such.

I always had a tidy music collection:
Z:\>MP3\Genre\Artist\Album\Artist – Song.mp3
I don’t want them sorted by some bloody ID3 Tag that is wrongly maintained by EVERYONE! Downloaded, bought, ripped – don’t matter, that shit is always wrong!

I once copied an Album using Media Player and I correctly named the Album, guess what? Only the first three songs were correctly tagged.
I only saw this later on my MP3 player, not right away.
By then I had given up.

I know of people – my generation – who have a song in their “library”, but when they look for it on their hard drive it is no where to be found!

Woohoo smarty pants, in the “library” it’s Banana Joe by Oliver Onions, file-name “bananas001.mp3”. They can’t share it, find it if it’s saved outside the Windows standard folder  “Music”, or copy it to any location….
This media library nonsense has turned people into bafoons!

I know it all for the greater good of having ALL the people in the digital world, but do we really WANT them to participate in this digital world? I know I don’t.

But then again, I don’t want Citrus stench anywhere, but it is considered the refreshing smell of “cleanliness” by most. So I guess you can say, it’s good that I don’t have a say in things, or else every Citrus Orchard would burn…