Posts tagged ‘muslim’

Crappy Birthday in March

Holy freak, I almost forgot about you folks needing this month’s birthday presents.

Here it comes, the costume to end all costumes, the cosplay to end all cosplay.

For 28 Euro you can look like a carcinogenic piece of pork. (With a smile that fills every creep with envy)
Ideal gift for your Jewish or Muslim friends, or their elderly relatives. Or yours if you’re from a faith forbidding pork.
A hearty laugh will be had in any case.

Gift this, our present yourself in this at any gift giving occasion this month, if you love to frak with people’s minds.
Drive them further towards, or further over, the edge. Redefine reality, and let them know, that you’re alive, and that they are too.
Whether they like it, our not.

Crappy Birthday,
A.

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Tue 22nd March 2016

Again some people blew themselves up in an urban area killing innocent people.
Again it was done by people who did it because they have an infirority complex about their god.
Again.
Just like a few days ago (or was it a week already?) in Turkey.

Again.

Now I’m not particularly sad about people losing their lives, although it is a tragedy and the victims, survivors and relatives have my sympathy.
I’m not in fear or terror that some insecure lunatic with a bomb might blow himself up in my face.
I’m not even all that enraged that all this is still a thing in this day and age – what ever stupid and arbitrary scale of measuring time (a.k.a. caldender) you adhere to – although admittedly I do feel a sizeable amount of anger.

Mostly, I’m just disappointed.

We have discovered/proven fucking gravitational waves just now!
We have unlocked the once indivisble thing (the atom) and discovered that the stuff that makes it up (protons, neutrons and electrons), is made up of even smaller things (quarks, etc.).
We KNOW that evolution is a thing – we can see it on a day to day basis with germs and even pests that develop immunity to our pesticides and antibiotics.
We KNOW that the earth is a sphere (I know it’s a bit bumpy, but a newly minted billard ball has deeper cravices than anything the earth has to offer, so STFU), orbiting the sun, which is in turn oribiting the center of the galaxy, which in turn is but one of hundreds of thousands in the observable universe.
We know the big bang is a thing, and we know almost everything that happened in those first moments after it occured.
We have deciphered our genome, and we KNOW that we share 98.9% of our genes with our closest relative in the animal kingdom – the chimpanzee!
We have technologies that allow us to communicate with people on the other side of the planet as if they were in the room with us. We have devices that fit in our hands that can store more information and perform more calculations than what was necessary to land people on the fucking moon and bring them back a few days later.

And STILL!
STILL people kill each other based on some trivial shit such as skin color or the even more retarded thing to get upset about – INVISIBLE FRIENDS!

If god exists – and you morons keep insisting on that – he or she or it is not proud of any of you (or me). He/she/it is disappointed.
Once you die, none of you fuckers is going to heaven. You’ll go to the pearly gates, where you will be greeted by god, slowly shaking his/her/its head showing the utter disappointment in your conduct in life. (Whether you’re a radical religious nut, xenophobe or nationalist doesn’t matter.)
And off you go. He whisks you off to someplace else. Wherever that may be.

So no.
I am not mad.
I am not sad.
I am disappointed.

Here’s to hope that all these differenfes will be forgotten or overcome soon, and that our shithead politicians, religious leaders and economic leaders will either be burned publicly to make an example, so that we will stop bloodshed over NOTHING, and stop burning coal and oil while we can make electricity out of daylight and wind.
Maybe we can create a clean and sustainable future for ourselves, launch ourselves into space and spread out.
So we will survive the inevitable desaster that WILL one day smash into our planet potentially killing close to everything on the planet.

But that is the delusional hopes of a hopeless romantic and optimist, my realistic side tells me that the random GRB or stray asteroid wipingnus out would be a relief…

Take care,
B.

Asking

a cleric about how the real world works, is like asking a pastry chef about the detailed inner workings of a car engine. Chances are, your answer will be less helpful.

A Saudi chap called “Bandar al-Khaibari” allegedly said that the earth is not spinning (or moving), after one of his people had asked him via letter, whether it spins or not. He “proved” it and became the laughing stock of the internet.

A German proverb calls people to stick to their professions. (“Schuster bleib bei deinen Leisten” ~ Shoemaker stick with your [bootstrap] stretcher)
Someone should tell that to clerical people. Catholic clerics have no say in sex or sexuality. Men in general have no say in pregnancies or childbirth.
Non (medical) doctors need to shut up about vaccines and other medical decisions. And so on. (Yes, I am aware of the irony in light of tomorrow’s post…)

Have a nice one,
A.

What’s so special?

There is something I don’t get about the currently most fought over countries and territories on earth.

ISIS want’s to errect a califate in IRaq and Syria. Mostly consisting of DESERT.
BokoHaram wan’t an islamic state in Nigeria. Mostly consisting of DESERT.Isreal and the west bank – mostly DESERT!
Crusaders wanted the same territory currently being Israel – DESERT AGAIN!

I’m sorry to say this, christians, muslims and jews – you’re all NUTS! What do you want in the god damn desert? If I were to call a strip of land holy, it’d be a place filled with lush forests, rivers, mountains with glaciers on it, herds of boars, orchards that need little to no irrigation, etc. A litteral PARADISE! That would be my holy land, you nutjobs can keep your deserts.

What is there in the desert?
Loneliness?
You can get that in a lush forest or a mountaintop. For the love your gods and mother nature – fight over/for a REAL place to live! NOT THE GOD DAMN DESERT!

You wonder why some people view you religious people as totally insane lunatics? BECAUSE YOU FIGHT OVER SAND! Not for water, food, live giving resources, BUT SAND!
God is all nice and if you want to die for your belief, okay, but NOT TO LIVE IN THE DAMN DESERT!

So, unless you realise that the desert is no place to live (ever wonder why they go through regime’s in the middle east faster than through a pack of tictacs? DESERT!), your endeavours are doomed.

A.

Don’t eat shoes!

I have had enough!
SIMPLY and plainly ENOUGH!

If you are a Vegan and you keep quiet about it – good for you. You have my blessing.
If you are a Vegan and you keep soving it in everybody’s face – I wan’t to beat you with a hammer. You are just as annoying as these religous nuts who can’t shut up about god.
Hammertime!

No matter what kind of Vegan you are, there are a few Bullshit lines you can cross.
1. Bullshit line: Meat supplement. If you made the CONSCIOUS choice of eating only vegetables, an othing that was produced from animal (labour), there simply isn’t any meat. No burgers, no sausages, no nothing.
So if you are longing for a burger, you have to make the conscious choice to deny yourself the burger, and not fake it with a Tofu Burger. That is “I want to, but I can’t” and you need to stop. Either your will is strong enough to pull it through, or it isn’t. IF it isn’t, kill you conscience and pig out.
2. Bullshit line: If you are offended by the fact that Vegan Restaurants aren’t allowed to educate official cook apprentices. It’s simple, a cook apprentice needs to be ABLE to cook meat. It’s that simple. Therefore a Vegan restaurant can’t legally have an apprentice. Period. (Don’t get me started on “But Muslim/Jewish Cooks/Butchers don’t have to touch pork”. That’s different. Sort of, if you ask me, they should be forced to. YOU DON’T HAVE TO EAT THE PORK FRAKKERS! Just prepare my bacon, asshole!)
3. Bullshit line: This is the one that got me to write this post. DON’T EAT SHOES!
My wife stumbled upon an advert from Espirt: “Vegan Shoes” … I can’t even…what? YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT THEM! What about Croq’s? They’re plastic, and therefore, VEGAN! Wanna know how oil (the base for plastic) came to be? Plankton, saturated with water, became entrapped and over time and pressure became oil. Plankton = plants! So – VEGAN! Still, don’t eat shoes. It doesn’t matter whether they have the “PETA-Vegan approved” sign or not. DO NOT EAT SHOES!

So, again, if you’re a Vegan – good for you. Stay strong and eat your produce. Steer clear of meat, and animal products, don’t fake out with tofu burgers and stuff, and DON’T EAT SHOES!

Take care,
A.