Posts tagged ‘nightmarish’

Scary Birthday June 2016

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This horrid abomination, abducted from the nightmarish visions of some swedish crack addict in withdrawal, is available at IKEA (where else?).

This is the ideal gift to give the kid who’s abhorrent parents you detest. Slip it to them when the parents don’t look, with explicit instructions to open it when alone, to surprise mummy and daddy with their new gift.

The sight this will be when worn, might cause heart attacks, strokes, or acute trigger pulling (followed by jail time, including soap picking).
At the very least when nightmare kid in full on crack-addict-withdrawal-vision outfit tells them who gave the costume to them – your hatred of them is made known.

If you’ll excuse me, I have costumes to wrap…

Take care,
A.

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Thesaurus Collection

When doing my Christmas Calendar research I stumbled upon a rather baffling trend.

SPELLING IT OUT.

I presnt you a collection of crap I didn’t want to put into the calendar, as it doesn’t fit the theme. But still, it is mind boggling. Who buys this and decorates his/her house and body with this shit?
Thesaurus fetishists? Illiteracy fighters?

Just imagine entering someone’s living room and these things are strewn around the walls and couch, some docile tune plays from those speakers, there is the mug with some steaming hot tasteless herbal tea, your host then enters the room sporting the T-Shirt and the hat…
What kind of weapon do you use to slay this foe of humanity? This retched hipster shit scum?

Dream 7-99 Depot erfahrung_worterbuch_definition_kissen-r20c9fc337b2a4e83b82a8367bb6e7c9a_i5fqz_8byvr_512 Family 9-95 NanuNana Hat 14-95 zazzle-de Hop 7-99 Depot Live 7-99 Depot Love 7-99 Depot
Mug 16-95 zazzle-de Speaker 19-95 zazzle-de t_shirt_worterbuch_definition_tshirt-r0023764aa91e4194b2b89c89b99765aa_804gs_512

I’d say, suffocate him/her in a pile of your feces…horrible, slow, painful and just like the things you saw – disgusting and tasteless…