Posts tagged ‘nonsense’

BTH – ASMR…

Why is this even a thing?

These are people who do not know how to use a microphone: they’re breathing into one as if they wanted to either swallow, or make sweet sweet love to it.
That is NOT how you use a mic, dumbass.

I’m not one to deny others their kink, far from it, but you wankers want the “girlfriend experience” – without the “experience” part.
You see, afaik, some prostitutes offer “the girlfriend experience” (for extra of course), and then you get cuddling, kissing, sweet talk, and what not (I imagine). There you get an actual experience.
With this crap you get no experience.

If I were one to go on business trips around the globe, so when I lay my weary CEO head down to cry on a cushion stuffed with stacks of cash while I pleasure myself to sleep, my beloved trophy wife is not able to lull me through it on the phone thanks to timezones, I’d have her breathe into a mic for half an hour, nude, and then play that video back to me.
I am not.
These people are not near and dear to me.
On the polar opposite.
They are complete and utter fraking strangers!
Making all of this a little creepy…

I would almost understand this, if it were porn [porn-porn. Not this brain-porn crap that someone equated this bullshit to]:
A naked chick (or guy, what have you), giving an imaginary protagonist (the camera) a POV girlfriend experience.
With sweet talk, breathing into a microphone, sensual descriptive talk about what they ‘are doing’ with you, complete with ‘noise’.

But this is people breathe-talking in the most annoying fashion possible [not whispered, not spoken, but the dimwitted bastard offspring of the two, that’s too loud and pronounced to be soothing or comfortable, but too low and hushed to be easily intelligible], making noise too close to the microphone [if I for example were to crave the sound of a girl brushing her long long hair, I want to hear it like normal people hear it, not the way a mic taped to the back of the brush picks it up!], and saying the most ridiculously mundane crap ever [if you have no one in your life you can talk about bowel movements with, stop the ASMR, quit your busy job and get friends and/or a spouse, because that is what you NEED]!

Get outta here!

But note, after this election I understand everyone who needs to get relaxed in any way shape or form.

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People who….

schould be beaten with poles enscribed with facts.

These days the bullshit express ran around Facebook (and other asocial media) with the two dudes standing opposite each other arguing whether the number painted on the floor between them is a ‘6’ or a ‘9’.
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Listen here you uber pseudo-tolerant assholes out there, this is completely wrong.
This is the level of erroneous bullshit I’ve come to expect to see from people who need ‘safe spaces’ (despite there being none on the planet, unless you dig an airraid shelter without internet, TV or radio, books or newspapers, then you and your opinions are in a safe space).
There are no other sides to a debate about the “truth”.
Either something is, or it isn’t. (Unless you’re dealing with quantum physics. But that’s another can of worms.)
A friend of mine said that, while you do not have to give validity to the opinions of the other side, you have to give validity to the emotions behind them.
No.
No, I don’t.
Giving validation, for example, to these cretins who believe vaccines cause autism, even in the slightest, is too much. They squeeze their foot through the door and wiggle until they are in. And before you know it they stand in your living room babbling on about something, reeking of rancid coconut oil and herbal mixtures for their hair.

We live in a time and world where opinions and feelings are higher valued than facts, and someone coined the phrase ‘post-factual’. In such a world where I can beat on peoples ears with facts until my mouth dries up and their eardrums bleed, without changing ANYTHING, you honestly expect me to see your (erring) point of view, or the misguided emotions behind it?
No.

“Look sunshine, here’s a 4, a 5 and thus this is a 6, followed by a 7 and an 8, and, oh, look, a 9.
If you go there and argue that it is a 6, I will make you eat the paint.” Facts, people, facts.

I’m done debating feelings and opinions crowds. These window-lickers are immune to facts, why waste my time?
The earth is a globe (more or less), it isn’t hollow, moonlanding was real, 9/11 was a terrorist attack, there are no reptilians, the jewish global conspiracy is non existent, vaccines are safe, healthy, and important, chemtrails do not exist, nor do Morgellons, aliens (if they exist at all) don’t give a crap about earth – or humans in particular, safespaces are bullshit, there are only 2 genders (Genders, are facts. Identities, are feelings. Got that? Good, moving on), HAARP and weather manipulation are BS, mindcontrol does not work, and dihydrogrenmonoxide is H2O also known as water you chemistry-phobic velcro shoe wearing half wits!

I state the facts in an argument, I will not discuss the opinions and emotions. Facts.
If you do not change your mind and keep on being stupid, fuck you.
The point of ridicule has then been reached. And I will make fun of you until I get bored.
Trolling? Maybe.
Adequate reaction of a facts person to a postfactual idiot? Definitely.

Do not defend this garbage. Keep this postfactual crap where it belongs – in pre-school.

Take care
A.

What in the blazes?

I need to share this with you bcause if I wouldn’t, my wife would find me tomorrow with my head caved in, eyes rolled into the back of my skull, my brain, in attmept to flee these thoughts, is then dangling out of my nose, and all because of this shit!

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《 Oh the wondrous discoveries of grocery shopping. (f.l.t.r.: apricot-dumpling JUICE, applestrudle JUICE, basil seeds drink [rosepedal-cherry flavor], chia seeds drink [lime-ginger “flavor”])》

What is this stuff used for? Summoning demons in some weird vegan witch circle?
Is it used to mind control people, some weird MK Ultra?
Did they really mix/press/mush chia/basil seeds?
Why?
Does this attract aliens? Or repel sasquatsh?

Did they honestly cook apricot dumplings, throw them in a power juicer and filled the result in bottles? Same with applestrudle.
Do they want to pump this through the embalmed remains of the emperor in the hopes of raising an applestrudle-vampire? And empress Elisabeth as an apricot-dumpling banshee?
If so, why?

Can it kill Werewolves? Or make the undead accept you as one of their own? Will you be able to communicate with ghosts once you consume all four?
Does this make a cocktail that can cure the common cold? Cancer? Will it make the four (or five) horsemen appear?
Will Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses appear, holding hands wishing for peace on earth, if you pour these four liquids in one spot?

Is this catering to hipsters, or dangerously deranged lunatics who should be put on watch lists if they purchase this? What kind of deranged juicers are considering this? Is this the effect of, and not the cause for, hell opening up?

These four products are the dumbest, most brain-inflammatory, aneurysm inducing things I have seen in a regular supermarket.
Especially stuff that says ‘Superfood’ on it…

Anyhow, thank you letting me share my otherwise lethal brainspasm, induced by illegally stupid crap.

Take care,
A.

History class(less)

My country, Austria, in central Europe, is over a thousand years old.
Well. The oldest written record concerning Austria is over a thousand years old, from AD 996, so it stands to reason to assume that the country in and of itself is a bit older than that.

A thousand years of history, from dark ages, crusades and wars fought on this soil, to modern day achievements and discoveries.

There is a newspaper in this country that has named itself after this country, and for some odd reason or another they made a book about the thousand years of history in this country, claiming that one could find everything in that book concerning those thousand years…
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For that, however, they kept it rather concise: 80 pages, and that includes our crappy anthem. (Please observe that the Index puts a two page anthem article on page 80, and in reality it is pages 78-79)
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A 78 page esay – in a regular format like A4, not the oddly sized bookling we’re talking about here – might be enough to write about the time since 1995, ever since the election concerning Austria joining the EU was stolenheld, the center-right government was in power and the banking crisis of recent years took place.
MIGHT.

At the same time, this bookling is another great analogy of my own history classes.

I sat in history classes for four years during my regular school career. We had two years in which we did everything from the dawn of time as we know it, up until 1938, and everything after 1945 to the present.
The other two years we stuck with that 7 year period (from hell). Austria joining Hitler Germany, all the way to the end.

This bookling isn’t doing that per se, but boasting about 1000 years of history and then from page 18 on forward only doing 20th century (and the beginning of this one) is NOT doing the other 900 years any justice!
So if you are planning on doing anything like this for your country, be honest.
The last 100 years are better documented (and more detailed so) than the previous 1000 together. Our bias towards the recent history therefore, is natural.

But if you are claiming to teach history, in form of a class or a book(ling), treat the topics like you would unruly children: be objectively and treat them equal.
Otherwise you end up with something like this. Proof that infinity exists.

How’s that you ask? In theory, if you had enough time (=infinity) you could throw your wet laundry in the dryer and it might, on one occasion, come out not only dry, but also perfectly folded.
This bookling must have come into existence in such freak accident. Paper and printing ink were combined by some miracle of infinity to create this, without any human supervision or interference of any kind. No journalists, no printing, no anything. Just a mysterious explosion that shatspat out this creation. A miracle. A crappy one, but still….
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