Posts tagged ‘ostern’

Fiendish Easter V

eggzPlease boil our young, and devour them!
Here, let me help you!

Is this to soothe your conscience? A Hen helping you in the process of devouring an egg?

Really?

pianobunny

“You’re a delusional dipshit if you think I’ll play it again!”

 

 

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Fiendish Easter IV

shudderThis cackling and jiggling chick is the latest of motorized easter gimmicks.

Scaring away Spring and Fertility Spirits, small children, and even Jesus, this demon – placed behind the door after the scare tactics of a dismebodied rabbit head had failed – will succeed in preparing for the arrival of the antichrist….

Fiendish Easter III

BunnydoorThis door ornament is, I have to admit, cute.
At first glance.

Once you realise this cute thing is nothing but a disembodied head it turns psychotically evil. What kind of sociopath mounts a cute bunny head on their door? Isn’t this like mounting the head of a pretty supermodel on your door?
It would not be inviting.
That kind of nightmare fuel you find in creepypastas, police reports of pschotic murders or ISIS propaganda.  “Hey, it’s easter, let’s behead a rabbit and post the head as a warningwelcome on our door! Christ would be soooo proud…”

Perhaps the rabbit drew a caricature of the prophet…

Fiendish Easter II

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Now Easter has arrived in the obesity ward of Betty Ford, in the shape of these two creatures of hazard.
These two woodland critters are the three dimensional representation of something screaming “Type II diabetes!” on top of their lungs. A worthy part of the festivities celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ…

Fiendish Easter I

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Christians and their high.

I kinda got used to the Christmas shrooms by now, but this is getting ridiculously suspicious.
Easter/Spring shrooms? Really?

Be that as it may, kicking off this year’s easter on green Thursday, we skip the spinach and head right to the shrooms, you don’t want to be sober when Christ returns, do you?