Posts tagged ‘oven’

Random rant

•”She threads two rats asses on some string to hang in the livingroom, when you see why, it’s pure genius!”

No.
Not it’s not.
It’s mundane silly clickbait shit. Cut it out! No one cares why dad is erecting a 30 ton concrete monument around this sickly (possibly already dead) tree. Or why we all should pour thirty liters of diarrhoetic shit into the oven to bake for ten days at fifty thousand Kelvin.
It is probably some mundane shit that no one in their right mind would consider “genius”, or “brilliant”.

YOU won’t believe how easy it is to generate honest clicks without angering people: create content, assholes.

•We just had an election last week.
Murica is having one next year. Already I am fed up to the brim with politics.
How so? Let me answer this with a parable:
In order to evaluate whether a new bridge is nevessary or not, all the leaders of all the parties (leading and opposition) journey to the riverside. There’s no way across as the old bridge is crumbling away, they see some folks on the other side of the river and yell: “How do we get to the other side of the river?” (To get a look at stuff from over there)
To which the people mockingly reply: “You already ARE on the other side!”
Conclusion, opposition and leading party(ies) agree that no new bridge is needed, because they were able to get to the other aide easily.

Sad thing, this is probably happening right now somewhere, or has happened very recently….

•I hate the piss weather. But it could be far worse:

image

I smelled the blue ocean, and I gotta tel you folks, if I had to live near a large body of water that stank like toilet cleaner, I’d have to murder at least seven people and thirteen goats daily, just to make it through life.
Gladly, real life doesn’t smell like this chemical approximation of “annoyed – the smell”.

As always, take care,
A.

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We’re Adults, aren’t we?

“Listening for prolonged times at high volumes, may cause ear damage!”
NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!?

My Android devices keep patronising me when I want to turn up the volume. The setting gets saved, but after a reboot, it’s back to pestering me!

We are fracking adults, I’m an adult! STOP TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD!

Your common sense dictates, you won’t cross the street without checking for traffic first. This is taught to children, we don’t need to be reminded everytime we’re about to cross a road as an adult.
It’s the same with all the rest.

There isn’t a warning on my stove telling me that touching the plates will burn me. There aren’t planes flying around on sunny days with banners “Don’t look into the sun, it may cause blindness!”

“Don’t text and drive” – this is common sense, stop reminding us.
“Coffee is hot!” – Really? I mean, REALLY???

I know that allegedly some old hag in the US sued McDonalds because she spilled hot coffee in her lap and burned herself. Instead of ruling in her favor the judge should’ve looked her in the eye and told her she can either drop the case and get away with attempted fraud, or if she doesn’t, she will get a legal guardian and put in a care facility for grown people with the mental abilities of a small child!

People who sue companies for NOT warning from obvious shit, your common sense should warn you from, they all need a guardian, and treatment in a care facility.
And to be on the safe side, for the duration of their stay, give them contraception (pill for women, stevia for men) so these cretins won’t procreate and drop babies on their heads because there wasn’t a warning…

So, again, TREAT US LIKE ADULTS! For frak’s sake…