Posts tagged ‘owl’

Crappy Halloween 2017

Holy fucking pumkin on fire!

Normally I’m quite fond of owls, but this abomination had stared into the abyss too long, is now the devourer of souls, as the abyss is staring through your soul, seeing you more exposed than naked.

Decorate your house with this, the kids won’t be frightened away, but will be tormented until eternity ends. Gift this, and you can strike one name off your list of enemies.

Crappy Halloween.

Athena and Fritz

Huddled together around a dim flashlight Athena, Otto Ferdinand and Teddy looked around the dark bedroom.
They were waiting for the little boy to go to sleep, but he was out with Mommy and Daddy.
Outside the moon shone through the clouds, shadows danced on the bedroom wall. Tighter and tighter the three cuddled together.
Afraid of the nightly sounds of Halloween the drew the blanket over their heads when a flapping noise startled them from above.
Shaking in fear Athena peeked out of the covers, but saw only the dark bedroom. “He-hello?”
Upside down a face pushed down to her, white fangs pertruding from the mouth. “Hi!”
Hooting in shock Athena rushed back under the blanket, the black face followed with curious eyes. “Hello, I’m Fritz the Bat!” The friendly newcomer grinned into the dimly lit blanket fort.
One by one Athena, Otto and Teddy introduced themselves, and were rejoined with a happy little boy as he greeted Fritz with a welcoming embrace later when he came to bed.
image

Athena, Otto & Teddy (Bedtimestory)

Once upon a stormy night Athena, the little owl, wanted to go to town, so the little boy could cuddle with her and fall asleep while she watched over his sleep, preying on bad dreams.

But the storm blew her away!

When she perched upon a root to rest and get her bearings, she heard a Frog’s croak.
“Hello?” she hooted.
“Hello there!” a tiny frog hopped into sight. His name was Otto Ferdinand von Hinkelbein, a noble little frog. “You seem lost.” he tilted his head.
“I am!” Athena raised her wings in dispair. “I need to get to town, the little oy needs me! Without me watching over his sleep, and without cuddling me, he can’t sleep well.” she hung her head, a tear of dispair dropped from her beak after running from her eye.
“I can show you the way to town.” Otto Ferdinand croaked with a broad smile. “If you take me to the boy with you, he might need my help too in a storm like this!”
For a moment Athan pondered, and nodded, smiling too.

So Otto Ferdinand hopped on, Athena hopped behind him, flying only small distances to look around, maybe she’d recognize the way? But Otto had to lead her all the way to the town.
On the edge of town they met Teddy, the little old bear that once was the cuddle toy of the little boy’s father. He had waited for Athena, but when she failed to show up he went to look for her. Happy to finally having found her he led Otto Ferdinand and Athena to the little boy.

There the three climbed the crib and were greeted with open, and tired arms. Pressing the three against his chest, sleep finally found the little boy.

Trio

T minus 11

Where am I?In case Grandma ever should forget to take her alzheimer’s medication, and becomes confused about her location, she got this piece of dust-collecting garbage for christmas:

“Where am I? Where the frak am I?” [looks around irritated and panicking, sees this] “Oh, I guess I’m home. What a relief!”…

Is this how it came to be?
In case you hate your new apartment so much you have to give it a more “home-ish” touch, buy this crap.

As an added bonus we sell you these owl cutouts, to solve your rodent problem…until they start eating the cutouts, then you’re fracked!

T minus 13

OW...wait for it...LThis wonderful Weltbild.at fountain is an owl sitting on a stylized treetrunk. Over it’s breastfeathers the water will be running down, reminding you of pieces from an “artwork market”.

Yada yada yada

This piece of clay and bronce will turn your home into a den of pretentious kitsch. If repulsive cheesiness in objects could set homes ablaze, this piece would set the entire block on fire, once unpacked from the special asbestos wrapping.
It doesn’t remind of artwork markets, just of a mass producing factory for pretentiousness.