Posts tagged ‘parent’

21st century, 1st world problems

I came across this toot on Mastodon.

Well, perhaps it is an evil scheme from Amazon, forcing toddlers and their parents to interact, at least occasionally.

By removing pictures, aka pictograms, and replacing them with text, kids who can’t read yet, MUST ask an adult (or older child) for assistance. This preventing, possibly, binge watching in the next generation, enforcing the oh so sweet human interaction.

But what do I know. My five year old would binge watch the entire library of Tom and Jerry, PJ Masks and similar stuff twice over if we would let him, or he had pictograms to help him navigate when we are distracted.

So, maybe, just maybe, Amazon didn’t fuck up, they did shit right.

Take care,

A.

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The wheels on the bus…

The other day in the bus:

I had just picked up my son from kindergarten, the bus had stopped at a red light and bus stop, the light turned green, we moved on, however, one car in the lane next to us honked at the driver in front of them to get moving, my son turns over in the direction of the honking car and yells for the entire bus to hear: “Stop with Tutu, or I’ll set you on fire!”

What is the correct parental response to this?

A high five?

Asking him where he picked THAT up?

Turning on Rammstein – Benzin?

I don’t know whether to be a proud dad, or to be worried. I don’t even know how to feel about this. There’s a delighted joy, there’s pride, but also worry and a bit of shame. (The people on the bus heard, they laughed, but surely also judged.)

FYI, I went with laughter, imagining a high five, and then asking him where he picked it up. He claimed he taught it to himself, that he’ll take a candle and burn the car…

Take care, A.

Christmas Calendar 2016

Hope you had a great time.

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02
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05
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08
09
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15
16
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18
19
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21
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24

31

31. Dec 2016

25 bucks and this wonderful masterpiece of fucking dragons fucking can be yours.

The year began with semi nude girls and carp (there’s a 2017 Carponizer, people), and ends with fucking dragons. 

Don’t ever say I wouldn’t be taking care of all your niche needs. 😉

Crappy new year!

24. Dec 2016

Discharge
What you can do with bodily fluids as a couple we learned from my mother-in-law’s best friend.

If you can’t read/understand German, you did not miss jackshit.
Perhaps if that obnoxious couple (the one you gave the underpants to) can, you can further the rift between them and you.
If they thank you … run.

23. Dec 2016 (NSFW)

27.90 € and this full functional Dildo made from dark chocolate can be yours.

The lonely housewife (-man), or crazy cat lady (or man), in your gift receiving circle of persons will be delighted. Even if they’re Hipster scum, for this piece is vegan!
It surely will satisfy all desires, known and unknown.

Get it now, and you can loudly, proudly and also lovingly say “Fuck yourself!”.

22. Dec 2016


Blinking Rudolph Earrings, for the Christmas-Nazi, or those you want to be marked as such.
You know, the cousin who scolds you for not having decorated the house ‘on time’, the aunt whose living room is looking like Santa’s torture chamber by mid November, the friend who knows every Christmas market intimately, without getting drunk each time.

Those people, who at the party are the Christmasiest person in history.

Mark them. This is the mark of the beast…