Posts tagged ‘pattern’

Neo would be fracked…

fifteen years on after Matrix came out (let’s “ignore” the sequels, please!) and I realize, Neo would be fracked pretty much these days.

He ran through the city and grabbed some dudes cellphone mid call, dropped the all and dialed Morpheus while being chased by Agent Smith. So far, so good.

Had he done the same thing with me and my cell back in 1999, he would’Ve been able to do all the same things he did in the movie (let’s be honest, I couldn’t have stopped him no matter how much I wanted). BUT! Would he be chased by Agent Smith today, and grabbed some dudes phone (mine for example) mid call, he could drop the call. But then he’d be fracked.

What’s my screen lock pin?

Other people have the pattern (if they keep their phone uncleaned, you can retrace it). Or a password, or a pin, instead of the all might “Slide to Unlock”. He would have to grab (smart)phones until he found a slider, or look actively for one still using an old cellphone.
Needless to say, Smith would catch up and beat the crap out of him. Eventually Neo would overcome his “normality” and turn into the chosen one – but until that point – OUCH.

(And yes, he’s a hacker, but without equipment, while running full speed, he couldn’t hack sh*t)

So, let’S be glad that the MAtrix was filmed (and took place) in 1999…in conclusion “They just don’t make movies like that anymore”…

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Where'S the bunny?Water energizing!

Take this chip, it is NOT a real computer chip or anything, place it in this carafe and your water will be more energized.

Where the hell is the energizer bunny when you need it to smash something? Water will be water, stays water, is water. WATER!
If you want energy, drink a sugar and caffeine infused energy drink.

Listen, I’m willing to believe a lot of crazy shit, but water, is water. If you want it energized, mix something into it.
Weeds.
Sugar.
Caffeine.
SOMETHING!

But only an energizing chip? A small metal plate that has a weird “mythical” pattern on it can’t energize your water!! I’m willing to believe in a talisman energizing you. But water is water, it is PERFECT as it is. Fresh, clean, vitalizing – WATER! (with no additives mind you!)

Take this ship and the carafe and shove it up into your anal cavity!