Posts tagged ‘pictures’

Happy Anniversary.

The Voyager probes were launched before I was born. Five years before I was born. 

When I grew up during the 80s and 90s they beamed back scientific insight and observations about our solar system, pictures and measurements, hard evidence and knowledge, that I would come to read in textbooks that I devoured. 

They humbled us. By giving us a glimpse of our world from so far away, that this place, ask these places, were a mere pixel, a mote of dust.

They empowered us. By being the farthest man made objects in space. (Until they find a a Viking ship sailing the interstellar medium I guess.) By teaching us. 

They enabled us. By making subsequent missions a possibility. Juno, Cassini-Hyugens, New Horizons. All these would not have happened, our at least not in the way they happened, without the Voyager probes.

Their mission, ongoing as it is today, is vital for our understanding of the universe, and our place in it, as well as it is inspiring. 

Go boldly, Voyagers, where no man (made object) has gone before.

A.

PS: It’s my birthday today. 

Life ain’t that hard, elections.

There has been an election in my country recently, I’m sure you heard.

I am not here to comment on the outcome, there are far better qualified people to do so. 
But I had the opportunity to observe insanity take on a new form.

No not the candidates whoring themselves out at every possible opportunity, nor the fact that one looks like a molding armadillo the other like a skinned weasel greased in oil.

It’s people taking pictures of their ticked (marked) ballots and posting them on social media!
So they are not just partaking in a democratic process, but also in mindless self-affirmation – getting “Bravos” from like minded folks, and pissing off the community of the opposing side.
Some even took the sweet time to strike through the other candidate(s). Wasting their own time, that of the people waiting to get into the voting booth, that of the people sitting there who in the end would have to count the clumsy attempts that made it impossible to scan electronically and have it counted that way.

Look people, life ain’t that hard, even in when voting in an election. It’s rather easy, here:

0. If you live in a proto-dictatorship you have to register to vote instead of being eligible to vote by default.
1. Go to the place where you can cast your vote. (Note: In a free and truly democratic country you need to show your ID to prevent voter fraud.)
2. You get a ballot and an envelope to take to the voting booth. (Note: No booth? Call inter-/national TV News, a booth will magically appear.)
3. Tick the box/circle next to the favored choice. Mostly there’s more than two choices (except in proto-dictatorship countries or special elections), so make sure you actually mark the right one.
4. After stuffing the ballot into the envelope, leave the booth and put it in the locked ballot box. (Note: if the lock is missing, or open, call inter-/national TV News and the police, take pictures of it, mail those to newspapers!)
5. You’re done! Take your ID, and the great feeling of having participated in a democratic process, go home and reward yourself with some icream or a prolonged jerk-off marathon.

No snapping pictures of your ballot. No drawing or writing on your ballot.
No anything except the TL;DR version of above list: Go in, tick a circle, stuff in box, leave.
Saves you time and effort, saves those coming in after you time and nerves, everyone wins.

Please do note: You can of course watch the first election results trickling in on the special news shows that day, but let me ask, why the hassle?
You have cast your vote. Everything else in this election, is now OUT OF YOUR HANDS!
Take a drink in a fancy bar, go out and eat, visit a brothel, inspect the crawlspace of your home. Have fun, or be productive.
But don’t sit there like a moron and watch the results as if you had to leave the country with hastily gathered belongings otherwise. If it has come to that point a wise person would go to vote, and then leave the fountry preemptively.

The next day, or two days later, the results will be final. Your nerves have not been stressed out, you had a relaxing day, and can take the news more relaxed that the shitheads you least wanted almost took over.

Take it easy. Life ain’t that hard.

Take care,
A.

Sky impressions from home

No rant this week. Just the beautiful skies I get to see from my home

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Evening.

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Morning.

Enjoy, and take care,
A.

Life ain’t that hard, Social Media

If you’re a lowlife cretin who should be bludgeoned to death with a balloon animal for the following, or parts of it:

-Posting quarter hourly updates on yourself, or
-Reposting loud images (with often incorrect shite in them) from all over the place,
-Interspersed with invites to some shitty games that no one cares for and everyone wants to cut your hands off for playing
-Liking a crapzillion of pages, and thus spreading their filth
-Logging in at every corner you visit

then fret not, for it is simple, thou shalt follow these basic decency & behavior commandments for social media:

1. Logeth in and checketh out.
This means, read other people’s posts first, before boldy blaring out your status, which no one really cares for. 

2. Thou may engage in reactions.
If you want to, you can react to someone else’s post(s). That is the social part of social media. You are not the star, just another schmuck, those are not your fans, but, supposedly, your friends. Interact, mingle, comment.

3. Thou mayeth post.
Post one, maybe two, status updates per day. TOPS! Only in emergency situations (f.e. toppling an oppressive government) is it okay to forgo this limit.

4. Thou shalt not RePost!
Just, don’t. Unless it is really important (really occuring revolutions, missing people, rabid bears or pedophiles, etc.)

5. Enough pictures.
Enough babies, enough cats, enough boobs and asses. Go to a special interest group/site if you want to see or share this, but the general public doesn’t care for any of that.

6. Moar of ye olde Pictures!
If you’re too young to remember boring slideshows of other people’s holidays, ask your parents, or grandparents how frigging boring that was. Want to share your holiday experience? One to Five pictures which highlight the best of it, will do, if someone is genuinely interested in more, they’ll ask. (Ahahahaha!!!)

7. Enough with the liketh!
Not everything you encounter in life needs a like online!
Bands, artists, celebrities, etc. Yes.
Brands, products, politicians, websites, etc. No!

8. Playeth with thineself.
No one cares for your geese or your jewels or your candy – if anything we’d like to see you buried under a mountain of that stuff. Keep it to yourself!

9. Logeth out.
Yes, the dreaded end of one’s participation in social idiocy.
Listen, don’t stay online for hours and hours more, having the media site track your every movement out there. Don’t be the intelectually malnutritioned fool, that is taking all their knowledge from the lopsided soup that is your prefered newsfeed. Controversy, disagreeing opinions those are NURTURING the mind, sharpening it. LOG OUT!

And the grand finale!
10. Thou shalt not reveal thine location!
Stop giving away your location! Just, no! We don’t care where you are, nor should you care where the others are. If they’re near you, but won’t see you, guess what? They don’t like you! Stop checking in from the pub at the corner of my block. Get lost creep.

It is a little extensive, so here’s the print out version:

1. Logeth in and checketh out.
2. Thou may engage in reactions.
3. Thou mayeth postonce or twice daily.
4. Thous shalt not RePost!
5. Enough pictures
6. Moar of ye olde Pictures!
7. Enough with the liketh!
8. Playeth with thineself.
9. Logeth out.
10. Thou shalt not reveal thine location!

Glue it next to your screen, make it your phone’s lock screen – what ever it takes for you to stop this crap!

Get your silly acts together, stop making social media asocial places, that are more a sewer than a place of interaction.

As always, take care,
A.

Vacation 2

In case the internet connectivity issue still hasn’t been resolved, here’s a picture of our willow and lantern.
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Relaxing. I know.

Vacation intermission

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No, this os not the Mediterranean, but Styria (that’s in Austria).

Just as I had foreseen, no network connection where we are staying.

That means that the prepared posts have gone, and will go up. Until I am back in touch with you, here a few more pictures to entertain you folks:

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Calm your ovaries, girls. 😉

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Pirates of the Styrian XD

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Yeah, that’s a thing. A nice thing. 😉

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Shoot out at the Styrian graveyard. idk, it just looks like a scene from a western.
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Unphil nepht time, yourph phruly, Phteven.

Life ain’t that hard: “Tell me I’m pretty!”

“Tell me I’m pretty” – You ugly ass skanks should crawl back under the boulders you came out from.

I already have talked about generation memeME here.

Self absorbed asshats who couldn’t take a picture of a sunset if they had three-thousand cameras set up for them, all pointing at the Horizon. Unless they were in the foreground and the main focus of their own picture.

Why the return to a topic that I haven’t changed my opinion on?

SELFIE-STICKS!!

Now there is a stick, with which you can put more distance between yourself and the camera, while still showing that it was YOU who took the picture.
That you are an imbecile with a tool now!
A tool with which you can be beaten.
And should be.

As always in my LATH posts, I have a solution to the problem:

Step 1, take the stick, mount your camera/cellphone/tablet/whatever and turn it ON. Choose a setting with which you can take a hundred pictures in a row.
Step 2, hold the stick firmly in both your hands, and start bashing the camera/etc. against your face. DO NOT STOP! Even if you are bleeding heavily, you only stop once you’ve fallen unconscious.
Step 3, after being released from the hospital, go home to your blood smeared stick and cam, charge it, clean it, and
Step 4, insert the stick, camera/etc. first into your anal cavity.
Go in there.
Deep.
Step 5, retrieve camera/etc. and stick, and repeat Step 2.
Step 6, you’ll wake up in a hospital. Again. You will have a nasty infection and are probably restrained. This is where you must lie now. Reflect on your life. On all the bad decisions that led you to that point. And I’m not talking about the bashing, as those were my instructions.
No.
When did what go so hofibly wrong in your life, that it led you to take dozens, sometimes hundreds of pictures of yourself PER DAY?
There are people getting hurt, injured and some even die, taking selfies.

What is next? After the Selfiestick, I mean? We’re done with the therapy now, let’s get back to the stick.
Will they make a stick that you mount your cellphone on that you can wear like a GoPro, then you hang on a rockwall and yell “Ok Google, snap picture!” and you let go of the rock to make a great picture. It is automaticall uploaded to your facebook, your vain and shallow “friends” like the shit and congratulate you.
Only to be informed by your family that hikers found your mangled dead corpse at the base of that mountain three weeks after you snapped that picture.
“Great job, Tymmi!” I just hope that in that case your selfie will be used in the obituary.

Take care and rest in pieces,
A.

Thesaurus Collection

When doing my Christmas Calendar research I stumbled upon a rather baffling trend.

SPELLING IT OUT.

I presnt you a collection of crap I didn’t want to put into the calendar, as it doesn’t fit the theme. But still, it is mind boggling. Who buys this and decorates his/her house and body with this shit?
Thesaurus fetishists? Illiteracy fighters?

Just imagine entering someone’s living room and these things are strewn around the walls and couch, some docile tune plays from those speakers, there is the mug with some steaming hot tasteless herbal tea, your host then enters the room sporting the T-Shirt and the hat…
What kind of weapon do you use to slay this foe of humanity? This retched hipster shit scum?

Dream 7-99 Depot erfahrung_worterbuch_definition_kissen-r20c9fc337b2a4e83b82a8367bb6e7c9a_i5fqz_8byvr_512 Family 9-95 NanuNana Hat 14-95 zazzle-de Hop 7-99 Depot Live 7-99 Depot Love 7-99 Depot
Mug 16-95 zazzle-de Speaker 19-95 zazzle-de t_shirt_worterbuch_definition_tshirt-r0023764aa91e4194b2b89c89b99765aa_804gs_512

I’d say, suffocate him/her in a pile of your feces…horrible, slow, painful and just like the things you saw – disgusting and tasteless…

Bewbs!

I’m as much a Bewb fan as the next (heterosexual) guy.
But sometimes it is baffling to me what people would do, or risk, for certain bewbs.

Yes, Jennifer Lawrence, and the leaked pictures.

I got it, she’s a hottie.
I got it, men wanna see her bewbs.
But, c’mon, really?
We need to hack iCloud to get her nudes?
Really?

Aren’t there plenty of young beautiful ladies abundant in the net who are willingly showing their assests??

What lowlife degraded waste of human genes do you have to be to do this?
To look for these images?

Everyone who has seen them (intentionally) and did not have her permission to do so – get out of this genepool, you’re damaging the species.

Breaking privacy isn’t okay. It’s like breaking into someone’s house and sniffing their underwear while copying their family album or something.
Low, degraded, and absolutely despicable.

But I also have to criticise the celebrities here.

Here’s a thing, dear celebrities, learn from these scandals, and from my words:
1. Don’t take nudes.
2. Drop the iShit and get a Droid.
3. Don’t take nudes.
4. Disable ALL functions that upload pictures automatically to the internet where they can (and will) be hacked.
5. Don’t take nudes.
6. Do not upload your pictures ANYWHERE.
7. DON’T TAKE NUDES.

Life ain’t that hard, really. Just follow basic rules of decency (= do not take pictures you wouldn’t show your parents and/or children), and don’t upload anything sensitive to the net.

I’m not trying to defend the culprit(s) here, but if those images wouldn’t exist in the first place, there would be no drama…

And again, everyone who has downlaoded these pictures, everyone involved in hacking pictures like this, uploading them – I sincerely hope that there will be someone taking nude pictures of you (or steal them) and spread them over the internet.
With names.
And Addresses.
Let the shaming begin. (Hey, Anonymus! There’d be a nice little side project…)

A.

Beating the virtual (02.08.14)

I’m posting this irregularly instead of postponing it to some obscure Friday, this needs to be let out ASAP…

•)Fecesbook went down for 30 minutes and the shitheads call the cops because of this? Are you kidding me?!
Was crushing candy and trading geese really that important?? It went even so far that a police officer (or spokesperson) put out a tweet asking people to stop calling, because they didn’t know when it’ll be back, either!

•)Animal shelters across the UK notice a rise, if not a surge, in black animals being abandoned, especially black cats.
No, not because they’re the harbinger of ill fortune.
But because they are “no good for Facebook photos”…and you wonder why the servers had to take a 30 minute break from these morons?!

•)Amazon wishlist.
I don’t even know where to start.
Women (and girls I presume), are putting up a wishlist, if someone, even a total stranger, buys them their crap, they send him a semi-/nude pic.
A) that’s prostitution. If you know any female participating in this, call her what she is: a cheap whore.
B) it’s stupid. If you know any male purchasing crap for this, call him what he is: an idiot.

Don’t call any of the participants “perverts”, a pervert would be a dude asking a girl for her wishlist in return for a picture of her with a pine comb up her cootch. And she does it. THOSE are perverts.

You can find millions of naked women in the net.
Presumably some of them get their own kicks out of showing off. I believe tumblr is mostly living off of this.
I wouldn’t spend good cash for shit I don’t get (which will influence my amazon suggestions), just to see a semi-/naked photo of some bimbo.
Listen here gou twatfaces: for the amount of cash you want me/us to waste on you, I expect something more than just pictures! (No, not videos. Figure it out…)
And if pictures are all you’re willing to give, I’d only dote a few cents on you, so if you have a kindle, we can strike up a deal for an eBook. (As if you people ever read anything else than Facebook comments and tweets!)