Posts tagged ‘plastic’

Crappy Birthday in July


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“Wear me, I’m a bear!”
This golden plushed, glamorous-flamboyant, surely malignant, loud abomination, is the newest footwear from the good folks at Adidas. And for a laughable prize of 89.99-110 Euros it can be yours.

If you know someone who needs to express their extravaganza in the most “glamboyant” way, so loud that Ray Charles and Elton John both are screaming in agony for that person to take their shoes off, then this little piece of plush and cloth with rubber sole is for you.
Yes. It is for men. Grown men, not little boys, not girls.
MEN.
The kind of men whose taste is so askew that it makes others believe a group of aliens has crashlanded and spawned that fella…

So if you need to give someone shoes, that will surely get them killed, and others around him infected with eye tumours – here. You’re welcome. Just watch for the smoke once shoes and wearer are set ablaze, plastic is unhealthy when burned…

Crappy Birthday!
A.

PS: Wanna get aay with murder? Strap these shoes on your victim, and ANYTHING that happened to the body will be considered suicide…

Watch it die…

…dying of thirst or hunger is one of the most horrible deaths imaginable.

The slow and agonizing deprivation of your organisms most basic needs are tearing on you and cause you to lose control over yous body, as one by one parts of it shut down, signalling your impending death.

Yet, every so often we put up a dying body in our homes, half a corpse already with no hope of ever returning to life. We watch it die, every day a little. Often we take steps to prolong the suffering of the organism in question. Admitted, no one know whether flowers and trees feel pain, they have no means of communicating this to us, but still we take a bunch of things into our homes and watch them die!

And we pay money for it!
For something that will be dead in a short time!

Imagine the same thing with small, cute animals, like hamsters for example. “Hey, I got this beautiful little critter at the trainstation, isn’t he cute? Now let’s put this cage on that table there.” BAM three days later, dead.

Rationally, you’d want your money back. If it was a vase, a decorative item (f.e. a picture and the colors fade away so that after a week it’s either black or white, but no actual picture anymore) or something else that isn’t for concsumption and thus spoiling if let rest for a while. You buy it, set it up at home and a few days later or a week later – expired. Gone. Dead.
“Give me back my money!”

Not with flowers.
Or christmas trees.
Now don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want a fake tree ever, only the real deal. But looking at it from a different point of view – you bring home a dying organism, prop it up in your living room, and further humiliate it by decorating it, while it slowly dies away under your very eyes.
Still, wouldn’t want anything BUT a real tree, with REAL candles – get that electric sh*t on some plastic garbage out of my face!

So, I leave you with a question, answerable below (or not at all), what is it with plastic sacks filled with people’s breath? Do we care for the person breathing into the plasticsack so much we want to conserve their breath? Or why do we love Baloons so much ;Þ (Yes, it’s a joke question, deal with it!)

A.